lexi29 Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 My fiance and his 9 yr old son, my parents, my sister and her husband and myself are supposed to go to the beach in September. We are renting a house and staying a week. I am very excited about going. It is a 9 hour drive (I can do it in 8 because when I go on trips I HATE to stop) I can do it in 8 hours by stopping once for gas, once to eat (drive thru) and maybe a third time to use the restroom. My parents are more leisurely- last time they drove it took us 12 hours!!! They like to stop and eat at least twice, get gas, stop at landmarks, sight see etc. We can not fly there either- the nearest airport is 4 hours away so by the time we drive to the airport (about a 2 hour drive) and then we'd have a layover and then once we reach the nearest airport to our destination we'd still have to rent a car and drive for 4 hours so the whole trip would still take about the same amount of time. And flying would be much more expensive. THe problem is that my fiance's 9 yr old son has never been on a long trip before. The most he's been in a car at once is about 2 hours. We took a weekend trip where the drive was two hours and we took lots of video games and a portable dvd player for him. He still asked about every ten minutes if we were there yet. Near the end of the trip he said he felt like he was going to throw up so we had to open the windows, let him lay down etc. On the return trip the same thing happened. We were almost a half hour from home and he felt sick again. said his head hurt badly and he felt queasy. We didn't let him eat anything on the drive but he did have some water. My fiance thinks we are going to have to stop quite often and let him "rest" for about a half hour at time. We recently drove about an hour and he again felt sick and wanted to get out of the car and walk around. Now we are taking two vehicles (my parents and I are both driving) but I will be driving and I can NOT stand to have to stop every hour or so. I know that sounds horrible as I don't want him getting sick or anything. But I remember driving to Florida with my parents (about a 20 hour drive) when I was only 10 or so and neither my sister or myself got car sick and we did stop several times but I can't imagine a child not being able to ride in a car for not even two hours!! I mean he rides crazy spinning adult rides and roller coasters and doesnt get sick. My fiance is saying that he just does not think his son will be able to ride in the car for 9 hours and that we should stop and stay somewhere half way down there. That is ridiculous in my opinion! I want to accomodate his son but i just don't know what I can possibly do. I don't want him getting car sick and I don't want him getting bored and whining all the way down (That will drive me insane and I need to concentrate on the traffic which gets pretty bad) Anyone have any suggestions? I think he shouldn't eat much and just take plenty of movies and games and stuff to entertain him. I am going even if they aren't able to go (have planned this trip for over a year) although I'd really miss them if they don't go. I want all of us to be able to take this trip together. Does anyone thinks it's unreasonable to expect a 9 yr old to be able to ride in a car for about 9 hours? (with breaks of course probably about 5 or 6)
BannaBee57 Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 When I was his age my family (mom, dad, and 2 sisters) used to take 14 hour road trips down to Oklahoma that we occasionally did in one day. So, it's not out of the question to expect a kid to ride that long if entertained properly. I'm not saying he's doing this, but my sister used to play the whole "I'm sick" game when she wasn't getting what she wanted. Maybe he's getting antsy and just doesn't want to ride anymore, especially since he can go on all those rides you mentioned. Or, he really could be feeling ill. In which case you could try some Dramamine or whatnot to help with motion sickness. Good luck.
curiousnycgirl Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 I can NOT stand to have to stop every hour or so. I know that sounds horrible as I don't want him getting sick or anything. But I remember driving to Florida with my parents (about a 20 hour drive) when I was only 10 or so and neither my sister or myself got car sick and we did stop several times but I can't imagine a child not being able to ride in a car for not even two hours!! Frankly I think you are both spoiled and immature. The fact that your fiance spoils his son comes through loud and clear with each and every post where the son is mentioned. Clearly yes a 9 year old should be able to make it through a long car trip. The fact that you are unwilling to make concessions and use phrases like I can not stand" show that it is all about you.
Author lexi29 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Frankly I think you are both spoiled and immature. The fact that your fiance spoils his son comes through loud and clear with each and every post where the son is mentioned. Clearly yes a 9 year old should be able to make it through a long car trip. The fact that you are unwilling to make concessions and use phrases like I can not stand" show that it is all about you. I'm not sure what your problem is but if you can't give advice, don't waste your time commenting on what I wrote. If it were all about me and I was unwilling to make concessions then I wouldn't be posting asking for advice on what to do or if a 9 yr old should be able to make a trip like this. I was demonstrating my normal trip-driving style (straight through) which I don't expect ANY kid to be able to handle to what my fiance's expectations of the trip were (to stop every half hour or so so his son could relax). Your post made me laugh because you sound so angry. No need to take it out on other posters.
curiousnycgirl Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 So very interesting - do you not recall that I have been responding to your posts for a very long time? I guess my anger is at the fact that you post on an incredibly regular basis yet don't appear to actually take the advice given. I will admit your posts seem to have stopped for a while when someone else pointed out that you appear to post constantly over fairly trivial matters. Also it does not appear from your post that you are looking for input, it looked like you were seeking validation of your position that a 9 year old should be able to make it that long. This is a quote of how you closed the post "Does anyone thinks it's unreasonable to expect a 9 yr old to be able to ride in a car for about 9 hours? (with breaks of course probably about 5 or 6)" where in that sentence are you saying please give me ideas on how to prevent him from getting sick, or getting bored, or whatever?
Author lexi29 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 No, my posts didn't stop because any poster pointed out that I post too often. I didn't have anything to post about (everything was fine and we were happy) that was the reason I haven't posted. I asked "does anyone have any suggestions?" That is where I am asking for advice. Why would you be angry that you perceive that someone you don't even know doesn't take your advice? I don't really understand that. And yes, I do remember you and your situation. I believe you have a boyfriend you've dated for many years who doesnt' want to get married (and you do) and he doesn't respect you, your religious views etc (or so I gather from the situations you've posted in the past). I'm not attacking you but we all have problems or things we would like other's opinion on. I was looking for advice, for opinions of what other's experiences were with their children. We've tried letting him watch dvds, play video games and we play road games with him (on the two hour drives we've taken) and he still complains he feels sick (after about an hour and a half.) I did mention in my post that if my fiance and his son are not able to go I will still be going on this vacation. It has been planned for about two years and includes my parents and sister (who I dont' get to see every often) and if that is selfish , then so be it. What isn't selfish is that I am the one who is offering to drive, I am the one paying for the house on the beach we are staying at, and I'm paying for the gas to get there. So basically its a free trip for my fiance and his son (he will pay for our meals). Perhaps you are correct, that I am looking for validation that a 9 yr should not have to stop to relax every 1 or so of a car ride because that seems unbelievable to me. I understand he gets bored (even with the dvds and games) and maybe he truly does feel ill and I don't want him to go through that (I hate it when he feels bad- I baby him) so I was looking for suggestions to alleviate his boredom and also if it was normal for a child of that age to not be able to stand long car trips. Its not that I want him to be able to ride through the whole 9 hours without a break- I just think stopping every hour is excessive.
curiousnycgirl Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 You are correct in how you summarized my situation - however my point is that I do not post regularly regarding my own issues with my b/f because I have not chosen to follow the advice given here (ie to dump him). If I did post regularly asking for input - that would make me an annoying pain in the butt. So your brining up my situation is not exactly relevant to what I wrote. Please re-read your original post, in an objective manner, and try to how you came across - writing things like "I will be driving and I can NOT stand to have to stop every hour or so" sounds like you are whining about the demands being placed on you. I think you hit the nail on the head in your second or third post - and it is a recurrent theme - you said you baby him. And you've said in the past his father babies him. He's used to getting his way and is not accustomed to entertaining himself (a key skill most children need to start learning in the crib/play pen). As far as who is paying for what - why is that relevant? You are going to be marries soon, won't you guys be combining your assets? If he pays for all meals and you are paying for housing/commutation are you guys not sort of even? Or are you planning on keeping assets separate once married?
Citizen Erased Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 He is getting sick because he is watching DVDs in a moving car. I suggest you leave early in the morning, give him some motion sickness tablets and a pillow so he will sleep. Sure when he is awake he will complain but that is simply what children do. It will drive you nuts? Too bad sweetie. All a part of being a parent. Which if you like the kid or not, judging by your threads centering around him you don't, you will have to deal with.
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Give him some gravel and a bring a bucket. It won't kill anyone to take a 20 minute break or so every few hours. I'm 37 years old and 2 hours in the car is about my limit.. I still get nausceous at times too! Though I never throw-up.. Make the trip fun for him in the car, play various CD's, play eye spy with him...
Storyrider Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Leave at 9PM and drive all night. He will sleep the whole way.
quankanne Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 nausea might be because he gets uptight about long trips, and doesn't know how to "go" on one. books on tape, iPod, DVDs, books, games, story telling ... that'll break up the monotony, but a good rule of thumb should be about a 15 minute pee break every two hours. Trying to drive straight through to a far away destination is just cruel when you get car sick or you have a happy bladder. Besides, it gives everyone inside a break from each other, too. I feel for you, having to man the vehicle on such a long drive with so many different people, but their needs (the serious one) should come first. I hate driving with people who think they are supposed to regulate my bladder for me, it's just inconsiderate, even when I try to do my best to keep stops along the way to a limit.
Author lexi29 Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 You are correct in how you summarized my situation - however my point is that I do not post regularly regarding my own issues with my b/f because I have not chosen to follow the advice given here (ie to dump him). If I did post regularly asking for input - that would make me an annoying pain in the butt. So your brining up my situation is not exactly relevant to what I wrote. Please re-read your original post, in an objective manner, and try to how you came across - writing things like "I will be driving and I can NOT stand to have to stop every hour or so" sounds like you are whining about the demands being placed on you. I think you hit the nail on the head in your second or third post - and it is a recurrent theme - you said you baby him. And you've said in the past his father babies him. He's used to getting his way and is not accustomed to entertaining himself (a key skill most children need to start learning in the crib/play pen). As far as who is paying for what - why is that relevant? You are going to be marries soon, won't you guys be combining your assets? If he pays for all meals and you are paying for housing/commutation are you guys not sort of even? Or are you planning on keeping assets separate once married? Sorry, I was only bringing up your situation because you asked if I remembered you or remember you replying to my threads all along. The only reason I mentioned who was paying for what is that you are calling me selfish and I'm showing you that I'm not because in order for my fiance and his son to go on this trip I am paying for most of the expenses. If I didn't they wouldn't be able to go. And no, its not even close to even with him paying for dinners. The house we are renting is $2000 for the week and I am paying for $1500 of that (my parents are paying for $500). My fiance will probably spend a few hundred dollars on dinners for the three of us. I don't have a problem with the arrangement, I'm just saying it benefits him. If I were selfish and didn't want to accomodate them then I would go without them and enjoy the time with my family. But they want to be there and it is a good time for them to be able to get to know my family better and my fiance and his son have never been to the beach together. I only baby him when he's sick. I hate seeing my little buddy in pain or discomfort. The maternal instinct kicks in quite strong when he's sick (and normally I hate being around sick people as I'm germaphobic). but you did make an excellent point and something that I might have subconciously realized but never thought about- that he's not accustomed to entertaining himself. He hardly ever plays by himself and even when he's playing a video game he wants an audience. So thank you for pointing that out, it makes a lot of sense.
Author lexi29 Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 Thank you all for the suggestions. I did think about the dvd player possibly making him feel ill- I know it would make me sick to watch a movie while riding in a car. The suggestion about driving at night I never thought of either. We do plan to stop and take breaks (I would NOT drive straight through with a child and I don't deny any of my passengers bathroom breaks.) I just don't like to stop often- I'm the type of driver who wants to get where I'm going. We will be taking two vehicles (my parents are driving too) and we will stop whenever they want to as well. I was just worried that my soon-to-be step son wouldn't be able to handle riding in the car over an hour at a time. I have NO experience with children other than him so I'm not sure what to expect.
Meaplus3 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 My fiance and his 9 yr old son, my parents, my sister and her husband and myself are supposed to go to the beach in September. We are renting a house and staying a week. I am very excited about going. It is a 9 hour drive (I can do it in 8 because when I go on trips I HATE to stop) I can do it in 8 hours by stopping once for gas, once to eat (drive thru) and maybe a third time to use the restroom. My parents are more leisurely- last time they drove it took us 12 hours!!! They like to stop and eat at least twice, get gas, stop at landmarks, sight see etc. We can not fly there either- the nearest airport is 4 hours away so by the time we drive to the airport (about a 2 hour drive) and then we'd have a layover and then once we reach the nearest airport to our destination we'd still have to rent a car and drive for 4 hours so the whole trip would still take about the same amount of time. And flying would be much more expensive. THe problem is that my fiance's 9 yr old son has never been on a long trip before. The most he's been in a car at once is about 2 hours. We took a weekend trip where the drive was two hours and we took lots of video games and a portable dvd player for him. He still asked about every ten minutes if we were there yet. Near the end of the trip he said he felt like he was going to throw up so we had to open the windows, let him lay down etc. On the return trip the same thing happened. We were almost a half hour from home and he felt sick again. said his head hurt badly and he felt queasy. We didn't let him eat anything on the drive but he did have some water. My fiance thinks we are going to have to stop quite often and let him "rest" for about a half hour at time. We recently drove about an hour and he again felt sick and wanted to get out of the car and walk around. Now we are taking two vehicles (my parents and I are both driving) but I will be driving and I can NOT stand to have to stop every hour or so. I know that sounds horrible as I don't want him getting sick or anything. But I remember driving to Florida with my parents (about a 20 hour drive) when I was only 10 or so and neither my sister or myself got car sick and we did stop several times but I can't imagine a child not being able to ride in a car for not even two hours!! I mean he rides crazy spinning adult rides and roller coasters and doesnt get sick. My fiance is saying that he just does not think his son will be able to ride in the car for 9 hours and that we should stop and stay somewhere half way down there. That is ridiculous in my opinion! I want to accomodate his son but i just don't know what I can possibly do. I don't want him getting car sick and I don't want him getting bored and whining all the way down (That will drive me insane and I need to concentrate on the traffic which gets pretty bad) Anyone have any suggestions? I think he shouldn't eat much and just take plenty of movies and games and stuff to entertain him. I am going even if they aren't able to go (have planned this trip for over a year) although I'd really miss them if they don't go. I want all of us to be able to take this trip together. Does anyone thinks it's unreasonable to expect a 9 yr old to be able to ride in a car for about 9 hours? (with breaks of course probably about 5 or 6) I don't thinks its un reasonable because by age 9 there old enough to understand. Bringing along lots of snack, reading books and coloring books could work well to keep the child busy. If it gets to hairy.. sing show tunes.. my kids love it when we sing, makes them laugh and keeps them happy. Good luck. AP:)
Nevermind Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I have motion sickness. Avoid books and DVDs at all cost, because they make it worse. Music, typical car games and snacks are the way to go. Also good: drive at night and have him sleep in the back.
hotgurl Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I hated long car rides with my parents because they have the same attitude as you but I did get car sick and I do have a small bladder. They always made me feel bad for stopping but let me tell you 9 hrs in car when you feel like throwing up the whole time is hell. Be prepared to stop. Also bring snacks, crackers etc. things that will settle his stomach and toys/ games. reading books and watching DVD will make the car sickness worse. I would get dramine for him this should help. With my daughter we usually leave about 5 or 6pm after dinner and drive though the night. She is well behaved kid and can keep herself occupied but an 9 hour drive is tough on the little ones.
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 OK well expect the worst, hope for the best. And so what if it takes longer to get there, the car ride isn't the actual trip so try not to focus on the drive. See how it goes, maybe he'll be OK and won't need to stop every hour, but if he does, you stop the car and wait until he feels better. Just don't make him feel bad about it because that will just make him feel worse. If he starts feeling ill, sympathize with him, tell him he's going to be okay and not to worry how long it takes to get to the place of destination.
porter218 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 My son has made it through a 21 hour car ride with only a handful of stops. The key is to play games with him. Get into the backseat with him and make up random games to kill time and take his mind off the long ride. If he is getting sick you should give him motion sickness medicine and bring some Sprite or Ginger Ale. There is absolutely no reason a 9yr old can't take a ride like that, you just need to keep him busy or sleeping. Bring a pillow and a blanket and make sure he has enough room to stretch out. he should be exposed to more long car rides like this to get him used to it.
hcd03 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 When I was younger, I used to get REALLY sick on long car drives. Mostly it's just because of the motion of the car. Get some pills for motion sickness and make sure he gets them regularly as directed during the drive. that should help. Under no circumstances should you let him watch DVD's or read. If he already has motion sickness in the car, that will just make it worse. If he likes music, let him have a CD player for the drive. That might get you a few hours. Or better yet, start in the evening. He'll sleep most of the way if you do. Just make sure you've gotten plenty of sleep beforehand. No need for you both to fall asleep!
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