Tiny_Toony Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 I'm sorry that this is going to be super long, but i feel as though you guys need the whole story to understand. There's this guy my brother and I know, i've known him since i was 14. He was my brothers friend..but they never really hungout until 6 months ago. This guy decided to stay the night at my dads house((where my brother lives and i visit on weekends)) and he ended up staying there for 6 months. He quit his job due to personal problems, so he would hangout with my brother all day and night. And by the way, it's not like he really wanted to stay there, my brother wouldn't let him leave. So, after a while, i started to really like this guy, and he started to really like me. And, when i started developing these feelings, i asked my brother at the time if he was ok with it...and he said he was. However, at the time this guy was still in love with his ex, and wanted to be with her. I can understand where he was coming from, so it didn't bother me much. After a while, he realized things weren't going to well with his ex, so he decided to try with me. Then, all the sudden, my brother says he's not ok with it. And for almost 5 months, his decision kept changing from yes to no. And while all of this was happening, my brother was controlling this guy like crazy....from what he can eat, how much he can eat, where he goes, and who he hangs out with((even him wanting to lose weight and my brother not wanting him to)) This guys' family is really close and they like to spend a lot of time together....my brother didn't let him go see his family. So this month, This guy told me something interesting. That my brother was Bi and wanted to "expirament" with him ((by the way, this guy IS Bi...But isn't interested in my brother AT ALL!)) This guy told my brother "No". They Argued, But then came to an agreement. This guy HAD to mess around with my brother, if he wanted to be with me. He agreed, although he wasn't too happy about it. They fooled around, and we were together. We helped my brother moved into a studio apartment that my dad owned, and this guy was to live with him. The first night we stood there, all hell broke loose. I was asleep on the floor, and they were in bed, talking.((yeah, they shared a bed...He wanted to sleep on the floor, but my brother threw a temper tantrum.)) I woke up to my brother talking really loud. I asked what was up. My brother tried to twist this agreement around by saying that the deal was to let me and this guy date for only 2 months, to see if it would work, then we would have to break up. And this was all because, my brother wanted to get close to this guy while they were in bed. So, we broke up. This guy and i spent the whole morning just talking((we only got 1 hour sleep)) and he was tired of it all and decided to move out. I packed up my stuff, he packed up his stuff, and we were gunna go home. My brother wakes up and threatens to kill himself. So, this guy and i go home. And for the past 4 days, my family had NO SLEEP because my brother kept threatening to kill himself. My brother talks to this guy and says he HAS to move back in, or else he'll kill himself.((By the way, he was talking to this guys' brother, telling him all that happened, and this guy is secretly Bi...his family are very strict catholics. So his brother is telling my brother to not tell anyone else...when he has)) So, he gives in, and moves back in. He DOES NOT want to be there. During those 4 days, this guy and i have been talking, and he wants to make it work for us. He just needs time to straighten his life out. He already has a job((my brother wasn't too happy about this)) and it's a 2 hour commute, and he can't afford gas right now. So, my brother admits that he's in love with this guy. I'm in love with this guy too, and i find it very difficult because we have been in a relationship, and i find this happiness, only to have it taken away. My family is having a BBQ on Sunday, and they're invited. This guy wants my parents to talk to my brother about this guy moving out to be with his family, and that they're ok with us dating, and he should too. My parents will talk to him. But, i'm afraid that he'll go home and try to kill himself again. I'm stuck because i love this guy and want to be with him. But, i also love my brother, but feel like he's completely wrong. I feel as though my brother is wrong for forcing this guy to do things he does NOT want to do. I think it's wrong how in the beginning he told me it was ok, and let me develop feelings for this guy, then tell this guy to break my heart. This guy doesn't want to lose his friendship with my brother, but he also doesn't want to lose me. And he's afraid that if he does get with me, my brother will kill himself.((which my brother told me that he would kill himself if we did end up together)) So, i need advice. What can i do? How can i approach this situation? Am i wrong?
Jilly Bean Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 OMG. This is SO Springer! The bi thing doesn't sweat me (but we all know I am working through my impossible scene with my bi-cop, so clearly bi-men aren't necessarily on my no go list - lol), but your brothers actions are REALLY out of line. To say he is controlling and manipulative is an understatement. Can you move out with this guy and just be together?
Author Tiny_Toony Posted July 25, 2008 Author Posted July 25, 2008 lol. I wish. I'm only 17...but i turn 18 next month. My mom offered this guy to live with us, but he doesn't want to, because he's afraid that my brother would come over to start problems. This guy just turned 20, and my brother is turning 21 this December. Plus, we don't have much money, so getting our own place would have to be in the future, lol.
HeartLikeLead Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 no he is bi and your brother is bi or gay. leave them alone.
Jilly Bean Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 So your brother doesn't live with you and your Mom?
Author Tiny_Toony Posted July 25, 2008 Author Posted July 25, 2008 Yeah, he is Bi. And my brother is Bi too. But this guy doesn't like my brother like that, he's even asked my mom for advice on how to get my brother off of him. My parents are separated. I live with my mom on the weekdays and go to my dads house on the weekends. He lives with my dad.
HeartLikeLead Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 They are both in their 20s. Youre still young and fresh and have your whole life ahead of you. Wait a couple of months and do nothing for now. Wait until school starts. Youll see things more clearly then.
woods321 Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 Yikes, I would definitely stay away.. You are too young to be caught up in that... He doesnt like your brother but messed around with him and they shared a bed, lol...Nasty..
xpaperxcutx Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 DRAMA.... That is so twisted. You're barely 18 yet, I would suggest you stay away from getting involve with the guy. For both you and your brother's sakes. The fact that one person is coming in between the both of you says that eventually either you and your brother are going to get hurt. Your brother is also in the wrong for being so manipulative, but you can't change him for that. what you can do is try not to pursue a relationship where the endresult doesn't seem very favorable. On the one hand you get the guy, but your brother may off himself. On the other, your brother gets the guy, and you're left heartbroken. Best to not pursue anything until you and your brother can work out a definite agreement. Or until you go to college and move away from his influences.
Author Tiny_Toony Posted July 25, 2008 Author Posted July 25, 2008 I understand what you guys are saying. And i really appreciate the advice. One problem is, that even if i do end it all and wait or leave it alone, there are still going to be problems. I HAVE to go to my dads on weekends...No ifs, ands or buts about it. And, since my dad has been busy and my mom refuses to take me out there....my brother has to take me. And if I leave them alone, my brother wont and i'll have to see them every weekend. How can you get over someone that you have to see every weekend? I don't believe my brother will kill himself..I thought about this, and he's way too into himself to off himself. He's done this since he was a kid, he'd threaten his life just to get what he wants. The last time he DID threaten to kill himself, he said he drank a FULL bottle of vodka that this guy left behind, he said he also took some painkillers, and make a noose. The vodka bottle was not full, there was about an inch left in the bottle. The "painkillers" were antibiotics my mom gave him for an ear ache...he didn't even touch them. And, that "noose" was made out of a skinny electric cord. So i doubt he would really kill himself.
Keridan Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 I'm gonna say that you AND the boy need to get away from your bro. Yer brother is screwed up in a big way and going to ruin both of you if you let him. You are all young and there is no telling if your relationship with the guy will work out, but what's happening now sure as heck isn't gonna work! Move him in with you and your mom. Tell your dad you can't be around your brother right now because his manipulative behavior is tearing yer life apart. Your family is likely used to dealing with him by now. You are sure your brother is just attention seeking. Let me guess ... whenever you hear the word Emo, your brother comes immediately to mind. Well, right now he is getting everything he seeks from it. That needs to stop. Talk to your parents. Talk to the boy. Get away from your brother. There has to be a way to accomplish that.
woods321 Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 Or just find a man who likes women. Dont date guys who will want to sleep with your bother.
HeartLikeLead Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 I understand what you guys are saying. And i really appreciate the advice. One problem is, that even if i do end it all and wait or leave it alone, there are still going to be problems. I HAVE to go to my dads on weekends...No ifs, ands or buts about it. And, since my dad has been busy and my mom refuses to take me out there....my brother has to take me. And if I leave them alone, my brother wont and i'll have to see them every weekend. How can you get over someone that you have to see every weekend? I don't believe my brother will kill himself..I thought about this, and he's way too into himself to off himself. He's done this since he was a kid, he'd threaten his life just to get what he wants. The last time he DID threaten to kill himself, he said he drank a FULL bottle of vodka that this guy left behind, he said he also took some painkillers, and make a noose. The vodka bottle was not full, there was about an inch left in the bottle. The "painkillers" were antibiotics my mom gave him for an ear ache...he didn't even touch them. And, that "noose" was made out of a skinny electric cord. So i doubt he would really kill himself. Show your parents this thread. Problems solved.
Author Tiny_Toony Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 My parents know about him being "suicidal" Basically all that i've posted here is what i've talked to my parents about. My brother wants to be a cop, and i told them from the beginning "It doesn't matter if he's really going to do it or not, you still should call the police for him even threatening it" But, my mom doesn't want to because she's afraid that if we do, it'll ruin his chances of becoming a cop someday. But, after long, looong talks, we all decided that no matter what happens, if he threatens to kill himself again, we'll call the cops. And, as for him wanting to sleep with my brother. That wasn't the case. He didn't want to, he only did it to be with me, which was why he moved out. He felt he did all of that for nothing, because my brother twisted the agreement around.
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Words cant even describe how wrong this is on so many levels..You want to be with a man who has sex with other men? Even with your brother?
Author Tiny_Toony Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 It doesn't bother me that he's Bi. His sexuality does not bother me in the least bit. And it's not like he did it because he wanted to. I took it as him making a sacrifice to be with me.
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 A persons sexuality is a pretty important thing.. You wont mind if he has to satisfy his urges at the public park then come back home to you?
Author Tiny_Toony Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 Sorry if i'm wrong here, but you kinda make it sound as if he's some sort of freak. I know this guy very well. He's not for cheating. If he's with someone, he's with them 100%. His father cheated on his mother when he was young, and he doesn't want to do the same to someone he loves. .. You wont mind if he has to satisfy his urges at the public park then come back home to you?Why would he go to a public park? I kinda feel as though you're going totally off topic here. I accept his sexuality, I am also Bi. So i find it no problem. I also trust him in not cheating on me.
Keridan Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Don't worry too much about those posts. People will often say things like this just to get a response. Just listen to the posters who seem to care about your situation.
Lovely Disaster Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 This guy is a 100% fudge packer, as well as your brother. He never liked you to begin with, he just wanted to "pack" your brother. Your brother loves this guy, too. Sorry, you don't really fit into this picture. Let the two fudge packers be together and find a guy who is 100% into women.
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Lovely exactly.. He already had sex with your brother. Oh, but he did that just because he likes you, lol. What does your dad think of the situation? Or is your dad sleeping with him too? He is so monogamous that he slept with your family members already.Yes, he is a freak. Lets hope you dont catch something you cant get rid of..
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 This is a sign of the "politically correct" times we live in. Since the guy is gay or bi, nobody will touch this thread. It would not be "politically correct" to say this guy is disgusting, and that his behavior is that of an animal. If it was a man who is sleeping with your mom, or sister, then he would be a heterosexual male, so it would be ok to call him a pig, degenerate, trash, etc.
Author Tiny_Toony Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 Maybe if you opened up your mind a bit, then you might actually understand what i'm saying. I asked for advice...not rude opinions. Opinions are like *******s....everyone has one. I thank everyone who gave me good advice that i can actually follow. I'll be sure to take them to heart and save them for just in case this doesn't work out and if i'm put back in this situation in the future. Thank you.
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Well good advice would be this. If you are a woman, and your boyfriend, or man you like is sleeping with your Dad or brother, you should find someone else.
Lovely Disaster Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I agree, it's not really the homosexuality thing, or bi-thing....if some guy I liked slept with my brother because my brother got upset, then I would not be interested in that guy anymore. If the guy slept with my sister before me, I would not be interested in this guy. Your brother sounds really immature, he got jealous because his friend wanted to date his sister, so he says "No, you can't do that, you have to sleep with me first before you can date my sister." AND to top it off, this guy AGREES to this???? WTF???? Wake up and smell the coffee, this guy WANTED to sleep with your brother!!!! It's like, almost incestual or something.
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