ellen24 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 ok, so i posted a few days ago about my boyfirend getting out of jail after 3 1/2 years, while i waited for him, and him starting to act distance in his first 5 weeks out, syaing he needed "space" and it had nothing to do with me. i ended up telling him 10 days ago he needed to move out b/c he was acting like jerk and then he said " i think we need a break, that's all." since then we have had almost daily contact, last week moslty b/c he came by nightly to pick up his stuff little by little. on monday, he came to get the "last of his stuff", but left all of his winter clothes here. he got mad that night b/c i didn't bring his clothes to the dry cleaners, but my thought was , why should i? if he wants a break, why should he have to come get his dry cleaning every 4 days?? the next day he texted saying that he was sorry he acted like an ass , but that he gets erally mad sometimes... i said, thanks, and that i had been acting like a spaz lately too... so the past couple days we have had brief, friendly texts throughout the day... the advice, good advice that i got on the original post was that although he loves me the playing field ahs changed and he is not showing the same level of committment... i don't feel ready to to the NC though since i don't actually want him out of my life. i waver between being toally sympathetic to the fact that he has to transition back to the real world and being pissed that he is closing me out of whatever that transition means to him. every time we see each other he still calls me baby and kisses me good bye on the lips... the part of me that still wants the contact is due to the fact that i have alwasy been there for him and if he is goign through a tough time, why should i bail now? on the other hand, maybe NC would make him realize what he has lost.... the contacts don't hurt me, in fact they make me happy and i have been leaving it up to him when we discussed the "break" we really didn't define any parameters about how long, what does it mean, ect.. when he was here on monday, he continues to refereence us as a relationship. i do know that he loves me, and the whoel time he was saying he needed space, he kept saying that he wanted us to work and that he still loves me. he told mutual friends that he does love me and doesn't want to hurt me, but that he can't give me what i want right now. i know most people would say, move on, and actually a co-worker asked me out last week, but i don't want to reaally move on, but will if i have to. how do you think i should proceed with him?? i have cried a lot, but not to him, and when we talk, i never bring up " us". it is just casual... i also never text him at night or ask him what he did or when he got home etc... we planned our whole future together and i still want that future if we can get through this tough time. his brother, who knows both of us well, said he would be rally surprised if after all we have gone through, we just ended suddenly.. i feel like 5 weeks of hell ( when he was living here and transitioning out of jaiL) should not negate our 5 1/2 year relationship... my thoughts are all over the place and any help would be welcome, especially from anyone who has been in jail or been wiht someone who has!! thank you!! also, do you think it is possible that he really just "can't" be with me right now b/c he has so much on his mind, but that he will want to in the future? th crazy thing is i would wait for him, as i have waited this long, but of course not forever!
Author ellen24 Posted July 25, 2008 Author Posted July 25, 2008 ok, can someone help me please?? i am very desperat and need some help.....
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