Ty Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 So the girlfriend and I live together. Over the past month or so I've found out a bunch of stuff about her that I didn't know was going on. Lies, found out she had a drug addiction, she has been coming home late, she has been calling and has seen her ex boyfriend... in a platonic way she says but still, he calls her phone everyday. Everytime I tell her to stop him from calling, it seems he is calling her again. I'm not really one to put up with BS, it was all too much so I told her I wanted her to move out and I wanted to break up. She started to get angry so I left. I come back 20 minutes later and she is laying in the floor, having taken a whole bottle of excedrin PM. I rush her to the hospital, she's been in there for a few days, now in a psychiatric ward. The doctors told her family and I that if I hadn't have brought her to the hospital, she would have died. She told me the reason she did it was because she didn't want to live if she couldn't be with me. I love the girl, but I seriously don't want to deal with this the rest of my life. Its amazing when I think about it really, all this has happened. Part of me feels guilty, part of me is just angry that she would try to emotionally blackmail me like this, and part of me just wants to walk away, even if I am close with her family. We are well educated people, young professionals, I would have never thought she would have a drug addiction or ever try to kill herself. What do I do? Lord knows I love the girl and I love her family, but I can't have that type of behavior around me, my family or should we have kids, I wouldn't want it around them. What does everyone think? How do you break up with someone after they do something like that? I'm at a loss for words. I've never dealt with something like this, or seen something like this.
mma_j Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Ty. Man, I am so sorry for your situation. That's certainly a very horrible place to be. I had a friend who went through a similar incident. He broke up with a girl and she lost it and tried to harm herself. Her family was very emotional and naturally blamed him for it, and now the entire thing snowballed into a very dangerous situation for him. He eventually was able to escape by NC. I suggest you do the same. The problem is not with you. That is her burden to carry. She now has professionals who can help her through the situation better than anybody else ever could. Let her family come through for her. She will get over it. As for you, really, try to relax and talk a few trusted family/friends as this must be a traumatic experience for yourself as well. I wouldn't go spreading the news of this to everybody. It's not fair to her nor yourself. You'll get over this, buddy. You've already done what you needed to do. You can get through this!
critter909 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 If you love her I think you should give her a chance to work on things. She should be getting help now, maybe see how she does? This is all very new. How long were you together? You don't have to pretend like you are ok with everything but maybe you could at least be a friend to her.
carhill Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Sorry to hear this. Great wake-up call that OTC meds can be and are toxic if taken in OD quantities. She was lucky you came back. My compliments to you for taking quick and decisive action. As things are now, IMO, she should have no distractions other than getting the professional help she needs. If you do not love her, let her go. If you do love her, stand by and wait and pray for her (if you are religious) while she receives care and counseling. It can be possible for you to re-connect when she is healthy. As you are young, perhaps it would be a good idea to pursue other dating opportunities as they present themselves after you've processed your loss. I echo the advice to keep this to yourself. No one is served by sharing this information with others. If you must talk to someone, don't be specific other than mentioning a non-specific health issue as the source for your concerns/loss/frustration. Her family knows. That's what matters. Stay strong. You did a good thing
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