stolenheart123 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Well my ex left me after 6 years on May 19th. She became someone I didnt know anymore. She honestly broke my heart. But after so many attempts of her trying to leave me for months before, and me begging and pleading prior months, I finally had enough of her abuse and let her leave. Its been hard, but i've maintained strict NC ever since May 19th. This is the first time i've ever been able to do it. I think about her alot, i miss her, but I dont miss the abuse and neglect. Well today I was downstairs checking through the mail and I find a mail for her. Apparently someone in my family opened it. Its from Transunion saying an identity fraud alert is placed on her account. I remember when we were together that someone had stolen her identity. She lives in Colorado, and I live in New york, it has always been LDR, so now im wondering if I should contact her to tell her this information. What I dont get is why she put my address? Im just confused, I dont know what to do, I also saw this on her profile "Did i take you forgranted, did i make you want to leave me. was i so unforgiving . did i miss understand the meaning of ur love. with mis guided grudges. was i afriad to share my self with you. How can i prove 2 you the way i feel about you.?? does it always got to be a sacrifice. how can i be so sure when it seems my heart is not pure." Any advice will be helpful. Thanks
AdrianaLima Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I would just tell her about it. You never know. Some good could from you telling her this. Meaning,she probably reach out to you again realizing what a mistake she had done with breaking it off from you. She also probably will be happy to hear your voice and talk to you.Who knows? But I would just tell her.
ioncebelieved Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Wow!!! NY to CO, I thought my LDR was far enough. You made a great point saying that you do not miss the abuse!!!! If you are like me, my LDR was 360 miles one way and I miss going there to see her as well!!! There are many things I miss just like you, but I do not miss being jacked around, lied to and given crumbs and being second. I was the OM and lied early on about it until it was too late I fell in love. By GOD, I am a winner, I am PRIZE and this women of mine should have realized I was GREAT to her. Now it is my time for resurrection to be GREAT to myself!!! If she ever comes correct, I will not be the bitchy & needy self of the past! Hang tight w/ the NC you are doing fabulous and I am sticking tough with mine on the 24th day of it today!
sunshinegirl Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I would say just throw the Transunion thing in the mail to her CO address. Don't call or write her. Also, I really wouldn't read too much into her Facebook quotes. If she was really second-guessing your breakup, she would contact you directly. It's an immature person who hopes you somehow read her mind through some ambiguous quote she puts on a social networking site. She dumped YOU. Remember that. It's up to her to get in touch if she has changed her mind.
Author stolenheart123 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 I no longer have her address for where she stays because my laptop died and that information was saved on it. Her phone number is no longer the same because I use to pay the bill the majority of the times and I guess she stopped paying it. The only way I could contact her would be through email or yahoo. She posted that quote on her yahoo profile, thats usually how we stayed in contact. She use to update it everday for me and leave me quotes. I guess I have to think really hard about this one. We broke up because she pawned the engagement ring I had given her. I told her if she needed money all she had to do was ask. But i saw that as an attempt to hurt me. I told her to leave me alone and that was the last thing I said to her.
ioncebelieved Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I no longer have her address for where she stays because my laptop died and that information was saved on it. Her phone number is no longer the same because I use to pay the bill the majority of the times and I guess she stopped paying it. The only way I could contact her would be through email or yahoo. She posted that quote on her yahoo profile, thats usually how we stayed in contact. She use to update it everday for me and leave me quotes. I guess I have to think really hard about this one. We broke up because she pawned the engagement ring I had given her. I told her if she needed money all she had to do was ask. But i saw that as an attempt to hurt me. I told her to leave me alone and that was the last thing I said to her. Yeah and she pawned the relationship away too!!!! Just think how much she thought of the ring you gave her!! She pawned it for pennies on the dollars. Sounds like I gave dollars to pennies to my ex as far as making it work out!
Treasa Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Send her a very short email asking for her snail mail because you received a credit statement meant for her and want to forward it along to her. Don't guess at things.
Ronni_W Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I no longer have her address for where she stays You can also just tape closed the envelope and "return to sender". If it is an account that she accesses often, she likely is already aware of what's going on with it. In any case, her troubles and woes are her own business...you don't need to feel responsible for any part of it. If you no longer wish to be in contact/involved with her, I'd suggest making a point of not looking at her profile -- in the end, that only causes confusion and pain to yourself. I agree with you that pawning an engagement ring is a deliberately hurtful act.
critter909 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Would you be interested in reconciliation? If it's a possible yes then this mail may be an opener for you to break the ice. If not then you can just "return to sender" like another poster said or just throw it away, because if you contact her to tell her about this something else is sure to follow. Whether it's positive or negative...
Author stolenheart123 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Yeah and she pawned the relationship away too!!!! Just think how much she thought of the ring you gave her!! She pawned it for pennies on the dollars. Sounds like I gave dollars to pennies to my ex as far as making it work out! You are very right, I paid so much for that damn ring too. I worked too hard to provide for her and just went out my way for her. She did pawn away my heart and our relationship. And now that I look back I was a good person to her. yea CO to NY is far. Anytime I goto the airport JFK I am instantly reminded of flying to go see her. I guess I must stay strong. Stay strong too ioncebelieved, stick with it and time will heal us.
sunshinegirl Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Would you be interested in reconciliation? If it's a possible yes then this mail may be an opener for you to break the ice. Critter, why on earth would you recommend this? The OP was dumped and his fiancee pawned the engagement ring. Who, if anyone, should be breaking the ice here???
ioncebelieved Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 You are very right, I paid so much for that damn ring too. I worked too hard to provide for her and just went out my way for her. She did pawn away my heart and our relationship. And now that I look back I was a good person to her. yea CO to NY is far. Anytime I goto the airport JFK I am instantly reminded of flying to go see her. I guess I must stay strong. Stay strong too ioncebelieved, stick with it and time will heal us. Anytime!! If you need to talk about things, hit me up!! I know the LDR pain as we both share it!
Author stolenheart123 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 You can also just tape closed the envelope and "return to sender". If it is an account that she accesses often, she likely is already aware of what's going on with it. In any case, her troubles and woes are her own business...you don't need to feel responsible for any part of it. If you no longer wish to be in contact/involved with her, I'd suggest making a point of not looking at her profile -- in the end, that only causes confusion and pain to yourself. I agree with you that pawning an engagement ring is a deliberately hurtful act. Very good point, I should just return it to sender. And today was the first time in a month I saw her profile. I looked at it after I read the mail. I will definitely stare clear of her profile. She made her choice, she lied to me about it, and then when I found out, she said" it was already over for us when I did that" so with that said i gotta let go
ioncebelieved Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Critter, why on earth would you recommend this? The OP was dumped and his fiancee pawned the engagement ring. Who, if anyone, should be breaking the ice here??? I have hope, but this goes beyond sorry! I agree with you Sun! You should not have hope for this ultimate betrayal!
Author stolenheart123 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 I have hope, but this goes beyond sorry! I agree with you Sun! You should not have hope for this ultimate betrayal! Now that you said that, its all so clear to me. I remember specifically telling her to never give away that ring. She already knew if she needed money all she had to do was ask. I paid for everything, so I dont see why she couldnt just ask me. You cant possibly love someone and do that to them. I guess she learned the grass isnt always greener on the other side.
ioncebelieved Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Now that you said that, its all so clear to me. I remember specifically telling her to never give away that ring. She already knew if she needed money all she had to do was ask. I paid for everything, so I dont see why she couldnt just ask me. You cant possibly love someone and do that to them. I guess she learned the grass isnt always greener on the other side. It would not have been nearly as bad if you had given her loot and she spent it foolishly.. but the freaking RING!!! OUCH ****ING OUCH!!! She did not have any substance abuse problems did she?
Author stolenheart123 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 It would not have been nearly as bad if you had given her loot and she spent it foolishly.. but the freaking RING!!! OUCH ****ING OUCH!!! She did not have any substance abuse problems did she? No substance abuse problems. She had a drinking problem, but she stopped the drinking for a year. She use to spend her money foolishly all the time on redbulls. And you can guess it, im pretty sure she pawned the engagement ring to buy them. She had alot of maturity issues, she acted as if she was 16. Shes 31 and im 23 now. What the hell was I thinking? I dont know how many times i've given her money and she spent it foolishly. The best is when I bought her a car, and then she crashed it and got a DUI. To this day I still cannot believe she pawned that engagement ring, for 110 dollars.
critter909 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Critter, why on earth would you recommend this? The OP was dumped and his fiancee pawned the engagement ring. Who, if anyone, should be breaking the ice here??? Sunshine- if you read over my post it was a question not a suggestion. I wanted to know if he wanted to reconcile, that makes a huge difference in what he should or shouldn't do. To OP- there is no excuse for pawning the ring. Throw away the stupid letter.
ioncebelieved Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 No substance abuse problems. She had a drinking problem, but she stopped the drinking for a year. She use to spend her money foolishly all the time on redbulls. And you can guess it, im pretty sure she pawned the engagement ring to buy them. She had alot of maturity issues, she acted as if she was 16. Shes 31 and im 23 now. What the hell was I thinking? I dont know how many times i've given her money and she spent it foolishly. The best is when I bought her a car, and then she crashed it and got a DUI. To this day I still cannot believe she pawned that engagement ring, for 110 dollars. You got to be kidding me!!! Redbull????? I mean those are good, but they can get expensive if drink them throughout the day! I thought I have heard it all until that. REDBULL!!!!!!!!!!!
Author stolenheart123 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Lol i know, i know... she would have like 5 of them a day. Her job doesnt really pay that much. So i paid her rent and gave her other money, but it was never enough. This whole thread just put so much in perspective. The one thing I do miss is her daughter. But like everything else, she took her away from me too.
critter909 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 This woman has a kid, can't pay her rent and spends her money on Redbull?????? Run!!!!!!!!
ioncebelieved Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 This woman has a kid, can't pay her rent and spends her money on Redbull?????? Run!!!!!!!! RIGHT, RIGHT!!! It just keeps getting worse as you tell more. Run hell, JET!!!
Author stolenheart123 Posted July 25, 2008 Author Posted July 25, 2008 Oh my goodness. I just got off work, came home made dinner and decided to come online. I dont know why but I logged onto this old email account I had. And there were four voicemail emails from her sent today 10 minutes before i logged in online. Im not sure what to do. I opened them and she didnt say anything on them. Its just so weird.
ioncebelieved Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 Oh my goodness. I just got off work, came home made dinner and decided to come online. I dont know why but I logged onto this old email account I had. And there were four voicemail emails from her sent today 10 minutes before i logged in online. Im not sure what to do. I opened them and she didnt say anything on them. Its just so weird. First off, send me a couple of hundred bucks so I can buy several cases of Red Bull!!! Sorry man had to say that. Ask her to start paying installments on the ring you bought her!!
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