ooopnut4 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Im 23 and shes JUST TURNED 21, she started a new internship with other 20 somethings and started to hang out with them a lot then she wanted a break, made out with one of the guys at a party and now talks to him on the phone but says shes not going to start a relationship with him. She said these new people understand her because they go to college like her and can relate and listen to her better as I have not gone to college or made any important career moves. She said she is not in love with me anymore all of a sudden and doesnt want to talk at all. I love her so much and took her for granted thinking wed never break up and now that we have i cant stand it and i realize now what I was doing wrong but she doesnt want to give it another chance. what do I do? Leave her alone? I want her back so bad i wanted to be with her forever she waited for me to get into school and I didnt and I didnt realize she would break up with me and now im afraid if i go she will find someone else. It has been 3 weeks and she has only called me once, wont answer any of my calls or texts how do you shut someone out like that. The night she called me last week she just wanted to see if i was ok because she said she was down the shore at a bar and ran into someone that told her i was havin a hard time. She said maybe one day down the road and i pleaded with her to no avail. I have done no contact since then except for one drunken text asking to be friends one day..does this sound hopeless? She also said she is still talking to that guy she hooked up with because he understands her, nice to her and is going through the same thing as he broke up wit his girl the same week! wtf! please help she also said she knows we will talk again one day even if I dont call her she wont forget about me, my bday is next week if its a text should I ignore it? Or will she ever even call me again?
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 To quote Rambo: First Blood: "it's over Johnny! It's over!" Move on bro! Don't be a door mat! Nothing you can do! She's probably kissing another guy as we speak! I suggest you do the same!
Author ooopnut4 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 yeah but i dont want to kiss another guy..i dont think THAT will help!
carhill Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 OP, there's enough seafood out there to have a different salad every night. A regular buffet This one's been in the dumpster and stinks a bit, don't you think? Best to leave it for the scavengers and move on to some fresh catch. If my fishing analogy makes no sense, simply make a like a hole in the water. Don't exist. Each moment you exist in her life now is irritating to her. You don't want to irritate her, do you?
v33 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 "Not in love anymore" is probably the most iron-clad guarantee that it's over, and for good. I would suggest moving on. Start NC right away and stick to it, and start doing things for yourself. It will be hard, but resist temptation to chase her, beg, plead, etc. Just work on yourself. Either way you win. If she comes back you have your pride and are a stronger man, better able to hold your own in the relationship, and if she doesn't you are a stronger, better man anyways, better able to attract a higher quality woman.
Author ooopnut4 Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 ok so i get home from work and there is a birthday present and a card..so i call and leave a voicemail just saying thank you, then i get a text saying even though we arent together anymore im always there for you and always proud of you WTF! why am i getting this **** now even though shes with someone else!
Author ooopnut4 Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 well i chose not to answer the text and just leave it alone maybe she will wonder why i didnt answer cuz i always do, maybe she will miss me i dont know..is that the right thing to do?
Peter_pan Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 it goes either way , you either pursue her, and make it clear to him to back the **** off or you lay back and hope she will come to you in her own time. if you go with the first one and it pushes her away more then your regret it, but again if you go with to and she dosnt come back you may regret not doing anything..... **** ent it
nopainnogain Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 ok so i get home from work and there is a birthday present and a card..so i call and leave a voicemail just saying thank you, then i get a text saying even though we arent together anymore im always there for you and always proud of you WTF! why am i getting this **** now even though shes with someone else! What a fuggin a-hole she is. She is bad news. I mean cmon. She is going behind her b/f back to do this crap. Put an embargo on her lol
Author ooopnut4 Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 ok now i get a text last night saying "just wanted to wish u an early happy bday cuz tomorrow is gonna be crazy, but i understand if you dont want to talk. so i wrote back like an hour later "thanks lyss" i know she wanted to talk but not calling her or acknowledging her.. is that the right thing to do if i want her back?
carhill Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 She dumped you. She's popping in occasionally to wave the bait around to keep you hooked emotionally and not move on to someone else, in case she needs an ego feed or changes her mind. That's self-absorbed behavior which is rewarded with a silence sandwich. Serve it up clean and well-prepared
motive2002 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 She dumped you. She's popping in occasionally to wave the bait around to keep you hooked emotionally and not move on to someone else, in case she needs an ego feed or changes her mind. That's self-absorbed behavior which is rewarded with a silence sandwich. Serve it up clean and well-prepared Haha.. who can argue with that? What caught my attention in your post was the word "forever". You're 23. "Forever" shouldn't even be in your vocabulary at that young age She doesn't want you anymore? Great! This is your opportunity to meet new people yourself! Why let her have all the fun, right? Oh, and don't be so available to her anymore. If she calls, let her get your voicemail. You're a busy guy with things to do and new people to meet!
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