skinman Posted March 28, 2009 Posted March 28, 2009 Well PWS, from what i have heard from you it sounds like your happy with the situation your in... keep up the work and give it time.. you will know what the lord wants from you , and in time you will be able to make the right decision for you... best wishes...
Author PWSX3 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 Got another email from the stbxw, she went over her reasons again for wondering if she should work on the marriage or follow thru with the divorce. She also said her counselor would like to meet with me & they are starting a new bible study that she would like me to go..... I am sorry but I AM NOT wanting to work on the marriage anymore......Like I said before; how many times do you get thrown under the bus before you finally say; enough is enough???? Well two times is enough for me, I am happy with my life, I see the light at the end of the tunnel & I'm going to see where it takes me. I do feel sorry for those guys/gals that wish their spouses would come back, but sometimes life is better without them....Only suggestion I can give is; work on your part of why the marriage didn't work, try & better yourself & thing start to look a lot different towards the spouse....
Justanotherschmuck Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Wow, PW. Your spouse is OBVIOUSLY wanting to come back, and youre saying NO? Do you REALLY feel this way or are you trying to make her suffer a bit? Because if you are REALLY not interested, that must be an AMAZINGLY empowering feeling. I hope and pray that my marriage heals, but since it probably is dead in the water, I would LOVE to have that feeling. I'm happy for you. ANd envious.
a4a Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 PW don't take her back...... and don't become what you used to be. or I got a foot for your ass! (hope you are well)
Author PWSX3 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Posted March 30, 2009 Wow, PW. Your spouse is OBVIOUSLY wanting to come back, and you're saying NO? Do you REALLY feel this way or are you trying to make her suffer a bit? Because if you are REALLY not interested, that must be an AMAZINGLY empowering feeling. I hope and pray that my marriage heals, but since it probably is dead in the water, I would LOVE to have that feeling. I'm happy for you. ANd envious. I really feel this way, we have had issues for over 6 years, she served me separation papers once, I found us a counselor & we started to go & she didn't leave. Then she left for 7 months & I started to change & see things I wanted in a marriage without even knowing it until I started seeing a counselor on my own. Then she moved out for what she said was good last Aug. & I really got serious about looking at my part, what did I do to make the marriage bad? I have done a lot of work for myself in the last 7 months & I haven't seen any from her, she is still the same person except she has started going back to church..... Their is just to many things that we would have to struggle threw & I just don't want to do it. I know when you are in the situation you don't see what is ahead, but you give it time & things really start to look different, you really start to see what you want in life & it is all good.... PW don't take her back...... and don't become what you used to be. or I got a foot for your ass! (hope you are well) THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!!! Were the heck have you been???? Remember way back when I first posted here on LS & you gave me the third degree??? I will never forget that & I'll never for get you for doing it, that was the best medicine I could have ever been given....I was ready to not post anymore, I was looking for someone to just agree with me & you didn't do it & I am so thankful for that. Things are going great!!!!
a4a Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 I really feel this way, we have had issues for over 6 years, she served me separation papers once, I found us a counselor & we started to go & she didn't leave. Then she left for 7 months & I started to change & see things I wanted in a marriage without even knowing it until I started seeing a counselor on my own. Then she moved out for what she said was good last Aug. & I really got serious about looking at my part, what did I do to make the marriage bad? I have done a lot of work for myself in the last 7 months & I haven't seen any from her, she is still the same person except she has started going back to church..... Their is just to many things that we would have to struggle threw & I just don't want to do it. I know when you are in the situation you don't see what is ahead, but you give it time & things really start to look different, you really start to see what you want in life & it is all good.... THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!!! Were the heck have you been???? Remember way back when I first posted here on LS & you gave me the third degree??? I will never forget that & I'll never for get you for doing it, that was the best medicine I could have ever been given....I was ready to not post anymore, I was looking for someone to just agree with me & you didn't do it & I am so thankful for that. Things are going great!!!! Sounds like you got your ducks in a row...... Me - just workin'.. except right now. Being a sot posting on LS. We all learn from our mistakes and that is what makes mistakes so wonderful. Now I expect to see you in the dating forum soon.... and don't go all gushy head over heels. Take your time. Enjoy it. There is always another bus to catch if the last one was not going to the destination you wanted.
Gunny376 Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 There is always another bus to catch if the last one was not going to the destination you wanted. One monkey less doesn't make a show!
Biggie25x Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Wow, I hope I can get to the point where I can let me STBXW go. I still miss her but realize it's still less than two weeks since we split and we're still living in the same house until I can move. Kudos, I'm glad to see you came out a better person and are happier. I can't wait to get there and it gives me hope there is silver lining to this whole thing.
sumdude Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Kudos, I'm glad to see you came out a better person and are happier. I can't wait to get there and it gives me hope there is silver lining to this whole thing. There can be, but you have to work at it to see it. Takes time..
Trimmer Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Wow, I hope I can get to the point where I can let me STBXW go. I still miss her but realize it's still less than two weeks since we split and we're still living in the same house until I can move. Trust me, it will get so much better than it is now. Two weeks and still living in the same house is way too close - both in time and space - to really have a chance to stretch out and view your life as it can be. It will get harder at times, but it will get much better in the long run. Hang in there...
TrustInYourself Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 Perry, I'm happy for you, man. Sending you my best wishes and here's to your continued happiness.
Author PWSX3 Posted April 14, 2009 Author Posted April 14, 2009 WOW I had to go back a couple pages to find this thread. Well my 90 days was up last week for the divorce to be final per the courts but now I find out that the judge has to sign off on it & they do that when they have time....WTF????? So now it's been a week so I called & it is not final, still no signature. That just pisses me off, I had to have my paperwork in on time..... Well it doesn't matter to me, I was done when she filed, I didn't need anyone to tell me it was finished after she filed.... The next couple months are going to get crazy, have a senior graduation Memorial weekend, the weekend after & do a 100 mile bike ride & the following weekend & do another one & I have to be moved out by the first of June..... Decided since I'm not going to be around much the next two months I am just going to move into my parents basement. Then when we get back from our trip the end of July I can find a place & move then. As for me & my friend, we are doing great, have great time hanging out together & it is amazing how much she enjoys my company, likes how I treat her & doesn't just say "no" she likes trying new things. Like they say; one woman's trash is another woman's treasure & so far she is more then happy to be with me. It is still early but we both want to see what happens....... That about sums it up. I would have never thought it would get better but it does for those that are also wondering that..
skinman Posted April 14, 2009 Posted April 14, 2009 PWS.... so glad to hear things are looking up for you friend... You have given me hope that I will indeed be ok after this is all said and done... Good luck on your trips and bike rides... You have inspired me to get back into biking... not ready for a 100 miler but its nice to just get out on it...... Take care PWS.. thanks for everything !!! Skin.......
Author PWSX3 Posted April 16, 2009 Author Posted April 16, 2009 Called the court house today & IT IS FINAL!!!!!!! The judge signed the paperwork on Monday April 13th!!!!! They mailed out the copies so I should get them in a few days but just one more step... It was sad when I heard her tell me, but I know I tried & I know I'll be better off but it still hurts being with someone for 28 years.. I do wish her good luck, she is a good person at heart, just needs to work on some of her own issues that she tried to use me as her scape goat & it doesn't work. Thanks everyone who knows my story from the start, just like others I was a basket case, didn't want it to happen, but once you get thru the pain & yes you HAVE to go thru the pain things start to look different you start to see what really was going on in your marriage. Today is a new start!!!!!
Gunny376 Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Welcome to the FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! We've been waitning on you to get here, glad you've finally arrived! Now get your Happy @ss out there, rub a little sunshine on your face! And either get yourself busy living or get busy dying! LIVE LIFE LARGE! TO ITS TOP! DON'T HOLD BACK! GET OUT THERE AND GIVE IT 100% OOOOOOooooooooraaaahhhh!
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 17, 2009 Posted April 17, 2009 Have you heard anything from your ex? I'm surprised she didnt call you sobbing about the divorce? I'm happy to hear you and your girlfriend is happy together. Enjoy it!
Author PWSX3 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Posted April 17, 2009 Welcome to the FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! We've been waitning on you to get here, glad you've finally arrived! Now get your Happy @ss out there, rub a little sunshine on your face! And either get yourself busy living or get busy dying! LIVE LIFE LARGE! TO ITS TOP! DON'T HOLD BACK! GET OUT THERE AND GIVE IT 100% OOOOOOooooooooraaaahhhh! Thanks so much Gunny, like I said it was a little sad but I also feel a great weight lifted off my shoulders....Just one more thing holding me back from moving on....It's still going to be a little tough, I have a lot coming up in May, move by June (we are going to stay in my folks basement for two months since we won't be around for those months & I'll be able to pay off bills), then we are going on vacation in July for two weeks. Once that is over then I'll find a place to live & then I can settle in. Have you heard anything from your ex? I'm surprised she didnt call you sobbing about the divorce? I'm happy to hear you and your girlfriend is happy together. Enjoy it! Nope didn't hear anything but I don't think she knows yet. As far as I know neither of us had to go to court since it was non-contested (I think that is what it's called) & the lady I talked to said they mailed the paperwork to her lawyer... I just couldn't wait because my g/f has been holding back until it was final. So I called her & said; O.K. let the games begin, IT'S FINAL!!!!!!! and the only thing she said was; WATCH OUT NOW!!!!! We are just going to take it slow, don't need to rush into anything just enjoy each others company.
skinman Posted April 18, 2009 Posted April 18, 2009 PWS.... I am so happy for you friend.. You have been there the entire time for me and i am so glad that all the hard work you have done on yourself has paid off.... Best wishes buddy ebjoy your vacation and drop a line when you can.... Skin.........
Author PWSX3 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 Got the paperwork started for the house....We are hoping to close June 1st. I have some serious busy months ahead of me....Memorial weekend is Graduation for my son, then the next two weeks I have back to back 100 mile bike rides. Oh did I mention I have to be moved out by June first as well?....Then third week in June me & my son are going to Yellowstone to visit friends, he has never been their & it's been a LONG time since I've been their so that is his graduation present. Then July is just as bad....The g/f has a weekend planned for us in the mountains, then the last two weeks headed to NH to visit my sister. Right now just focusing on selling the house..... My friend (girlfriend) started a new job that will last the next two months & she works 5:30-10:30PM so that means we will only see each other on the weekends. Everyone tells us to take it slow so I guess that will do it.... This weekend we are going to celebrate the divorce by going to PF Changs, my favorite restaurant, which she has never been to so that will be fun. Then come home for desert!!!!:love::love: Got another email from the former wife & I believe she still wants to work things out, but it's over, I am done at least for now because you never say never. I can't help she is a little slow & here I thought I was always the one that was slow to learn.... Just like tonight I was getting all worked up having to fill out 15 pages of crap for the contract on the house & I get a phone call from the g/f & she calmed me down & I had a good evening......Life does get better....:love:
delajoonal Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 PWSX3.... congrats! sounds like life is going great for you now:) just happy to hear the D turned out to be what you wanted and needed to move on with your life... a happy ending to a difficult life, but a great beginning to a new life! have fun at PF Changs w/ your 'friend'...and enjoy 'dessert' too...tee hee!
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Trust me PWSX your better off with the new girlfriend... Doesnt you ex know you have someone new and not interested in her anymore? Why does she continue to pull your string when it's not even attached?
Author PWSX3 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Posted April 22, 2009 Trust me PWSX your better off with the new girlfriend... Doesnt you ex know you have someone new and not interested in her anymore? Why does she continue to pull your string when it's not even attached? No I don't think she does, we have kept it quite until the "D" was final, plus I haven't any contact with the former wife unless I had to.. I know it hasn't even been two months, but it is a LOT better.....Have to see once the newness wears off on how we do, but we both realize some of the things we need to do & things we didn't do in our last relationships & hopefully that will help us grow in this new one. Thanks delajoonal, I so look forward to spending a fun evening together with the "friend"....haha!!! It is funny because we are both alike, when we do something new like going someplace we haven't been we both look it up on line so I'm sure she has checked out the place to see if she will like it......I know she will & if not I know she will like the desert.
Author PWSX3 Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Since the G/F is doing a part time job in the evenings I decided to see if her boys wanted me to come over & make pizza for them??? It's nothing fancy, just Chief Boyardee sauce with toppings but I like it & so I went over last night & the oldest helped me out & we had a good time. Then we watched a movie together & they seemed to enjoy that as well, I know I had fun..... Things are looking better, but like many that have been thru this you still will always have thoughts once in a while for the former wife or husband, I just don't think that will ever go away because you were part of each other, but that doesn't mean life has to end...... I hope everyone has a good weekend & for those that are still struggling, someday you will be able to post & looking back see the good that came because of the pain & work you had to go through.
Author PWSX3 Posted May 3, 2009 Author Posted May 3, 2009 Started taking stuff to the storage unit & packing stuff I haven't looked at in a while & it is really sad, hurts, and even makes me wonder.... It is sad to see pictures, things I found that I made for the former wife, things that we did as a married couple....Just makes you see the good times we had and you wonder why someone could give it all up just to find themselves????? Well like I heard on the radio the other day; life is all about changes & unless we try & keep up we will die & I really believe that is all that happened in our marriage, we both just took it for granted & we grew apart....... They also say it is easier to get back with your Ex then it is to start over, and I am starting to understand that as well, but like my counselor's wife said; but won't it be fun learning & growing with someone new & learn new things and that is the approach I'm taking....Learn new things, try new things..... I have until the end of this month to be moved out so I'm trying hard to just do a little at a time so I don't get overwhelmed & so far it's going good. Just don't look forward to the junk in the garage, being a gear head & collecting car parts, nuts & bolts, isn't a good thing..:laugh: As for the G/F we are doing good, last night took her boys & my boy to the movies. Kind of different having 5 of us instead of 3 but we had a good time. I also see things I need to still work on just because of my past but at least I see them & I can confront them. Nothing big just little things. Thanks for listening, I guess I just needed to share......Been a tough day but it will pass!!!
delajoonal Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 PWSX3... HEY there! sounds like you could use a friend today? glad i took a moment to check the board..i was just about to watch a little TV and thought to check and see what is new today... anyway, can i join your 'pitty party' today..LOL:o i have had the WORST last 2 days..just can't get out of my own way.. you know? OF course YOU do..LOL ( this is where Gunny comes in and tells us to "Stop feeling sorry for ourselves!"...LOL he is right..but sometimes a few moments to wallow in self pitty is allowed:eek::eek: oh, and that memory lane is a real killer, especially on a sunday...ack! but i get for some reason all we can remember now are the GOOD times...funny, how my dh can only remember the BAD times..LOL well, i just wanted to let you know i am here and so understand your pain...how these days just pop up out of no where is kinda sucky..LOL take care my friend...
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