gordon_gc Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I need your opinion... Haven't been dating for about 2 yrs now following bad break-up and now a bit rusty. Met a girl last saturday in a bar...real cute and all so decided to change my 'strategy' of one night stand for what people would call a normal pick-up. We spent a great night talking, etc. We finally exchanged numbers, kissed before I left the bar and the plan was to have diner the following night. We had diner the following night and it was a bit weird as far as i'm concerned...the talks on a one on one setting, ect... I finally got her home after a long kiss. (told you I'm playing it slow !). Since, we've been in touch on and off. I invited her to the movie on tuesday. She accepted but asked if her friend could come as well. From this point, i kinda went a bit cold turkey but still told her i was ok with her friend coming. Why does she need a friend with her ? Anyway, my work is really demanding so I had to cancel that night (she knew the movie plan wasnt 100% sure). Since, (for the last 2 days), I decided to wait for her to initiate contact (most of the time, I have) and she hasn't yet... My guess is that she might think I have lost interest since I sorta bailed out from the movie plan and have been in "non-contact" mode for the last few days. Has she lost interest ? Should get in touch with her or simply wait and hope she does ? Not sure how a girl's mind work in such cases so help would be appreciated ! Thanks
carhill Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 You cancel, you reschedule, if your desire is to see her again. That's how it works. If she says yes and wants to bring a "friend", tell her you'll be happy to hang out with she and her friend some other time, but unfortunately dates can only fit two people
Ronni_W Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I second carhill's opinion. The only reasonable thing I can think, of why she asked about her friend is that she may have already had plans with Friend for the same night, preferred to spend time with you, but didn't want to do the crummy thing of blowing off Friend. I can see my brain being confronted with such a conflict and churning out "can I bring my friend" as a quick-ditch option.
confused and broken Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Dude you ditched out on her... you should definitely call her... a lot of girls myself included don't call guys... old fashioned-yes... but if you really care you will call... Who knows why she asked to bring a friend... If you think you like her CALL HER, date her and find out more before jumping to any conclusions...
carhill Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 OP, the important thing here is to lead. Take responsibility for desiring to take her out and that you want the experience to be just the two of you. I'm assuming these are things which you want. She can't read your mind
confused and broken Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 OP, the important thing here is to lead. Take responsibility for desiring to take her out and that you want the experience to be just the two of you. I'm assuming these are things which you want. She can't read your mind Agreed- if you want something there is no point in dancing around as carhill says "lead" Go for it
Author gordon_gc Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Thanks for the advice....as i told you, definitely rusty when it comes to this. What if she invites her friend again ? I offer a 3some or something (joking)?! ;-)
imbewildered Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Since, we've been in touch on and off. I invited her to the movie on tuesday. She accepted but asked if her friend could come as well. From this point, i kinda went a bit cold turkey but still told her i was ok with her friend coming. Why does she need a friend with her ? THis is her way of telling you one or more of these- a) I do not want to go on a "date" with you .You might get too close. b) I am emotionally still a child who does not 'get' how dating works. c) My interest level has tanked and I am bringing a friend to annoy you hoping that you wan't call me again. d) I am just plain stupid. Her friend is her buffer and her shield. Whatever. dude. NEXT any women who pull this shyte. You need to ask yourself what would you be thinking if some women asked you out and you suggested that you bring a buddy - ya feel me here ?
carhill Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Thanks for the advice....as i told you, definitely rusty when it comes to this. What if she invites her friend again ? I offer a 3some or something (joking)?! ;-) OP, this is why you make specific plans and ask her to join you. There's no opportunity for her to "think about it" and figure out a friend to bring along. Also, have "two tickets" to something like a concert, preferably a sold out one If you want to joke about the friend, maybe an "only if she's single" comment with a little sarcastic chuckle. Let her know your options are open and you're looking around This all presumes you have some interest in her beyond the reality that she's a warm female body. Lots of those around...
confused and broken Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Thanks for the advice....as i told you, definitely rusty when it comes to this. What if she invites her friend again ? I offer a 3some or something (joking)?! ;-) How old are you two??? Anyways I would be straight up and just say "are you scared to spend time alone with me or something that you always want to bring your friend?" That way she can let you know if she is just playing you or what.... It really doesn't make sense.... I would never want to bring a friend out with a guy I really like but.... So if you like her call her... Then if she plays the friend game... ask her for an answer... and if her answer is stupid find someone not stupid But as I said before I would give her another chance...
Balthazar Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 As the previous posters mentioned, this girl is using her friend as a buffer. She wants to disassociate herself from being intimate with you and brings her friend along, which makes it a "non-date". CHeers,
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