kizik Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 As I exist feebly through my droll day feeling sorry for myself, a notion emerges that is strangely comforting. There is beauty in this loneliness. I owe no one anything, I dictate my actions, have no one telling me "Good job" or "How could you do that" or "I'm proud of you." I get to accomplish things and recognize their worth without anyone's influence. In essence, I do things for myself, and when they are great (like a song recorded yesterday), no one knows but me. My life is not good or bad based upon someone's opinion of it. I no longer have to "measure up." I don't have to get married and have kids anymore. Not on her schedule, at least. I'm grateful to her for leaving me alone, too. I am positive she has wanted to contact me, if only because she did it before, a couple weeks post-. She's unwittingly allowing me to heal, and I shouldn't hate her for "ignoring" me - I should thank her for respecting me enough to let me be, with all her "friend" talk, etc. We both know she doesn't love me; why rub it in with contact? When you get to see the dark days, when you get to feel the pain people take severe measures to avoid... you are living a life that is more LIKE life than most people. We spend a lot of time distracting ourselves from the fact that to live is to be alone. Us here on this board? Right now, we know it better than most.
ioncebelieved Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Speak the truth brother, speak it!! I talked to a friend of mine today that moved in with his girlfriend a few months ago and he is completely miserable!!! Maybe I should tell him to read your post here!!
fran82 Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 hey kizik, i like this positive streak coming through in your thoughts. some pretty uplifting stuff there! do you think you've maybe reached accepting its for the best?
Author kizik Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 do you think you've maybe reached accepting its for the best? Fran, I knew it was for the best like the day after it happened. Doesn't change that I went from being a guy with a pretty and smart GF to one who had no one. Losing a GF is such an ego blow. Guys usually don't have 3 others as reserves like a lot of chicks do. But living the solo life - and I mean this, people, it is not the single life for me, it is the solo life - has a romantic beauty to it that is not unlike Thoreau in the woods.
Chinook Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Guys usually don't have 3 others as reserves like a lot of chicks do. <taps fingers on desk> *waiting* Nah, it ain't working... sod 'em But living the solo life - and I mean this, people, it is not the single life for me, it is the solo life - has a romantic beauty to it that is not unlike Thoreau in the woods. Absolutely
borelandkaren Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 As I exist feebly through my droll day feeling sorry for myself, a notion emerges that is strangely comforting. There is beauty in this loneliness. I owe no one anything, I dictate my actions, have no one telling me "Good job" or "How could you do that" or "I'm proud of you." I get to accomplish things and recognize their worth without anyone's influence. In essence, I do things for myself, and when they are great (like a song recorded yesterday), no one knows but me.quote] It's nice, hey!
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