jazzyjazz22 Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 I am leaving my boyfriend of 17 years. We have 2 wonderful children however he is a cronic liar and an adulter. He says that it ended wit the OW however,that is what he has told me before. Anyways, i do see that he is trying to make it up to us but, I just don't believe anything he says or does. everything is a lie to me. My thing is, what if, he really is telling the truth this time, and I leave then I loose my family becuase a few really big mistakes he made. Anyways I am looking for a place and hope to be moving by 8/1. I wish someone could just tell me you are definantly making the right decision, the doubts are bothering me. Advice?
Billie63 Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 There will always be what ifs. Maybe you just need to move out and gather your thoughts, and have some peace of mind on your own? You moving out may give him the kick up the backside he needs to see see how bad his behaviour is. Moving out doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is over - from the sounds of it, he doesn't want the relationship to end. I do think that if someone has cheated more than once and been forgiven more than once, that they are unlikely to change. They know they can get away with it. Can you eleborate on his affairs and lying? How bad has he been?
Author jazzyjazz22 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 1.He lied and told me that nothing was going on evn though the OW boyfriend called me and told me that he found out about it.(this was in August of last year. 2. In March, i found out that they have been in a serious relationship for 2 years now. she loves him.(i spoke to the OW), He didn't stop in August of last year like he should have. 3. i found out that he had a key to her house. (i asked him and he lied) 4. i found out he bought her and her kids Christmas presents ( I asked him, he lied.) (This is the one that really pisses me off. H ow can he take $$$ out of my house and give to another woman and her children instead of buying presents for his own children) 5. He asked his sister to lie for him to cover it up.
mma_j Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 WOW! That's a lot of stuff to deal with. Believe me when I say this, but there is no doubt in my mind that 100% you are making the right decision! Teach your children to be the best people they can be! They will thank you for it.
Billie63 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Oh yes you so have to get out of there and away from this odious man. I think the infidelity is bad enough, but the intimacy he shared, the presents, spending time with her kids etc. Oh God, how can you really have any doubts? You may one day get back with him but it will only work if you give him the hardest lesson - and that is to reject him, like he rejected you. Have no fear, move onwards and do it. You have nothing to lose apart from him. And he doesn't sound that much of a catch to me. I'm sorry you've had to go through this - but get out of the firing line!
confused999 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Yuck he's an ass... treating 2 women like crap basically. Move out and move on... he doesn't LOVE you, he uses you for comfort. What would you prefer?
AdrianaLima Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 You been through so many times, and enough is enough. Sweetheart, you are making the right decision. If he's really telling the truth,this time,after so many times, good for him. But you just can't go through this any longer. When your children get older, they'll understand. I wouldn't say that you are going to lose your family, because you can still allow them to see him,right? He's also putting your health in risk.You ever thought about that? Move on, you're making the right move.Good Luck!
borelandkaren Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I'll be over in 10 minutes to help you pack. Get the hell outta there! No questions, no nothing, anymore. He's treated you like shyte for the last time. Do you want him to change, honestly? He's been screwing some other chick for the past 2 YEARS!!!!????? What part of "I'll change" could you ever trust again?
Author jazzyjazz22 Posted July 25, 2008 Author Posted July 25, 2008 Thank you everyone for your responses. I found a place and should be gone by the 15th. Its close enough so my kids dont have to change schools but far enough away so i can protect myself from the drama. Oh and I found out some more dirt about the extent of his sneaky lying ways yesterday which makes me feel even more confident about my decision being the right one. (He has someone who keeps tabs on me and calls him when ever I leave my job so he knows if i'm on my way home for my lunch break or mybe he has this person calling him becuase he thinks I'm trying to get revenge for what he's done). Either way, it's just wrong and i can't be a participant in his game anymore. This game is my life and my childrens lives. Can I get an AMEN?!?! Thank you again. This site is really helping me and giving me the support I need.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 Thank you everyone for your responses. I found a place and should be gone by the 15th. Its close enough so my kids dont have to change schools but far enough away so i can protect myself from the drama. Oh and I found out some more dirt about the extent of his sneaky lying ways yesterday which makes me feel even more confident about my decision being the right one. (He has someone who keeps tabs on me and calls him when ever I leave my job so he knows if i'm on my way home for my lunch break or mybe he has this person calling him becuase he thinks I'm trying to get revenge for what he's done). Either way, it's just wrong and i can't be a participant in his game anymore. This game is my life and my childrens lives. Can I get an AMEN?!?! Thank you again. This site is really helping me and giving me the support I need. AMEN!!!!!
Billie63 Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 There's probably he's stuff he's done that you don't know about. I hope you get some peace and breathing space so you can plan your future - a future that means minimum contact with him. Well done for taking control of your life. There are people out there who will stay with any old POS because they're scared of being alone. You know that you're worth more than that.
theobserver Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 This mans a worthless disgrace only decent thing he's done is proably the help in creation of the children. Ugh , I honestly don't know how you put up with it. Admittedly people all have their limits but Miss I think a lot of people would of grabbed the kids and ran a long time ago. The worse part of this story is when he bought her and her kids presents seems he was ready and willing to be a step father to them if need be. Don't be surprised if he shacks up with her after you leave just think to yourself good riddance. Dump his ass get your life back on track, empower yourself you're a beautiful strong intelligent woman with 2 beautiful kids. If you so wish to re-enter the dating world I hope you find a loving loyal man that will treat you and your children right. Hopefully this doesn't leave a nasty taste in your mouth on trusting men in the future we're not all dogs. Wishing you the very best in your future.
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