iwish Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Well, i've been waking up miserable most mornings thinking of her. Hoping that she would contact me... I'm going away tomorrow night, walking across the Alps for 10 days so i was out at lunch buying some new walking shoes.. Whilst out i was tempted to contact her (stupid i know) to see if she fancied lunch or something.. But of course i didn't because i said i wouldn't contact her anymore.. Anyway i got back to work and i had an email from her. My heart jumped.. It said.. Don't take this the wrong way... Hi, That's it really - I was just wondering how you were doing and wanted to say hi. I hope you're happy - and I hope this doesn't upset you or anything, wasn't meant to... How's work? I'm going slowly mad here. Hope you're good Her name... x Now here's my dilema.. Do i respond? Do i ignore? Do i just leave it until i get back from my vacation? Damn it.. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Well, i've been waking up miserable most mornings thinking of her. Hoping that she would contact me... I'm going away tomorrow night, walking across the Alps for 10 days so i was out at lunch buying some new walking shoes.. Whilst out i was tempted to contact her (stupid i know) to see if she fancied lunch or something.. But of course i didn't because i said i wouldn't contact her anymore.. Anyway i got back to work and i had an email from her. My heart jumped.. It said.. Don't take this the wrong way... Hi, That's it really - I was just wondering how you were doing and wanted to say hi. I hope you're happy - and I hope this doesn't upset you or anything, wasn't meant to... How's work? I'm going slowly mad here. Hope you're good Her name... x Now here's my dilema.. Do i respond? Do i ignore? Do i just leave it until i get back from my vacation? Damn it.. Well, honestly, I would ingnore it for now. That email doesn't help you, doesn't give you what you want, it just brings back the feelings and memories. If you respond now, you'll just be stting back waiting for a reply - which may or may not come, and may just be another one filled with netural pleasantry - which is somewhat worse. Go on your trip, enjoy it. And when you're back, think about if you want to bother replying. I know the temptation is great (trust me, I know), but you just get caught up in a game of email and wait and that really does set you back. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 hmm, only reply if you are over her and dont want her back... how long has it been nc for you now bud Link to post Share on other sites
roghornio Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 hey lifes life. Say hi. You cared about each other. So long as you dont expect anything out of it just go with it. Your ex is reaching out to say hi, thats it... it's ok to be nice! This NC thing - it has it's merits... but you dont have to stick to it like glue. Treat her like an old friend and nothing more and everything is going to be cool. Link to post Share on other sites
Tyra Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I would just go and enjoy my trip. I would reply to the message once I'm back from the vacation, or even a few days after this.This will give you enough time to really decide whether or not you want to get your feelings caught up again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iwish Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Thanks guys... I haven't replied yet but she has since sent another one.. Sorry If my last email (or the subject of it) sounded rude or anything, I was just thinking about you and how you were doing so wanted to say hi - but was trying to stop it being a big deal and obviously it came out rude. You can reply if you like! If not, well I hope you're good. I've been poorly for a while and still feeling rubbish which is never fun so I hope you're better than me! Well maybe hear from you, maybe not... x What to do? Link to post Share on other sites
roghornio Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Aww man!!! Say hello. As i say, dont see anything in it. its just saying hi, that is all. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 IGNORE. Have your trip, enjoy the lovely Alps. When you get back, you can decide what to do. If you reply now, you will think about it the entire vacation. Link to post Share on other sites
Tyra Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Still don't reply until you come back from your vacation. She'll be alright until you get back. Enjoy yourself and worry about this back and forth stuff when you come back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iwish Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Aww man!!! Say hello. As i say, dont see anything in it. its just saying hi, that is all. I want to say hello, i want to wish her happiness.. but then i'm going to suffer. She ignored me for ages even accused me of stalking. Walked away from me (more than once) when i told her i loved her.. I want to write back and say nice things.. But then she'll **** me off again.. Link to post Share on other sites
roghornio Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Still don't reply until you come back from your vacation. She'll be alright until you get back. Enjoy yourself and worry about this back and forth stuff when you come back. So he can spend the whole trip thinking about what to say, should he say it… Nope. Reply,. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Don't take this the wrong way... Hi, That's it really - I was just wondering how you were doing and wanted to say hi. I hope you're happy - and I hope this doesn't upset you or anything, wasn't meant to... How's work? I'm going slowly mad here. Hope you're good Her name... x IMO, that is one bitchy email. All she says is hi, and then has the temerity to think she has upset you. What the hell is her point here? I shall tell you. "Remember me? Me! Me! Hi! Hope you haven't healed! I'm fine! ME!" Don't f*ckin write me unless you're gonna apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 "Remember me? Me! Me! Hi! Hope you haven't healed! I'm fine! ME!" :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
confused and broken Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Well, i've been waking up miserable most mornings thinking of her. Hoping that she would contact me... I'm going away tomorrow night, walking across the Alps for 10 days so i was out at lunch buying some new walking shoes.. Whilst out i was tempted to contact her (stupid i know) to see if she fancied lunch or something.. But of course i didn't because i said i wouldn't contact her anymore.. Anyway i got back to work and i had an email from her. My heart jumped.. It said.. Don't take this the wrong way... Hi, That's it really - I was just wondering how you were doing and wanted to say hi. I hope you're happy - and I hope this doesn't upset you or anything, wasn't meant to... How's work? I'm going slowly mad here. Hope you're good Her name... x Now here's my dilema.. Do i respond? Do i ignore? Do i just leave it until i get back from my vacation? Damn it.. This is how it always goes... they always show up at the wrong moment... just as you are about to move on with your life... My ex contacted me while I was in Hawaii... and of course we got back together... and broke again.... If I could do it over I would ignore ignore... Time to move on with your life... responding will only prolong your agony! Link to post Share on other sites
CHANTRESS Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Hmmmm..Iwish.... Considering the things she accused you of (stalking) and her attitude towards you during all this time, do you think she is worthy of a reply? Sounds to me like she knows she treated you horribly and she knows it and is trying to ease HER conscience. She never once mentioned the way she treated you...just how she is feeling. It's your call.Persoanlly I would have a hard time responding back to someone who treated me so ****ty, unless they showed repentence or remorse...which she has not. You can't TELL her she needs to apologize though, it must come from her. I hope you enjoy your trip..it sounds amazing!!! Link to post Share on other sites
CHANTRESS Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Iwish.....I just read your history and my reply now is DO NOT WRITE HER BACK. I know it was your desire to hear from you, but considering your past with her, you writing her back right NOW would be a very bad thing. Take it from a female. Youa re a "fallback" plan until she realizes you are SERIOUS about where you stand. She needs to work for you, and earn YOU back because unless she does, she will ALWAYS treat you disrespectfully. Stand up for yourself NOW, WHILE YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY!!!!! She is testing you right now......to see if you are still there. Don't be. Trust me, this is where she will begin desiring you again. Go on your trip..have fun, and I BET you will have at least another email waiting for you, if not more. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Iwish, when my ex contacted me last week he was just as casual. And it broke me down, when I showed that I was still in pain, he once again retracted everything, yelled at me and passive-aggresivly told me to leave him alone. Unless she apologizes profoundly, don't answer her. She doesn't deserve a casual hello, a reply or anything. She doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think the email came off as kind of rude! I wouldn't respond what good would it do? I garauntee if you don't respond and go on your trip you will have more emails from her when you return! How long was it before she sent you the second email, since you didn't respond to the first? Sounds to me like she is desperate! I agree with most everyone else, go on your trip enjoy it think about if you want to respond, and make a wise choice when you get back. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Thanks guys... I haven't replied yet but she has since sent another one.. Sorry If my last email (or the subject of it) sounded rude or anything, I was just thinking about you and how you were doing so wanted to say hi - but was trying to stop it being a big deal and obviously it came out rude. You can reply if you like! If not, well I hope you're good. I've been poorly for a while and still feeling rubbish which is never fun so I hope you're better than me! Well maybe hear from you, maybe not... x What to do? IGNORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's fishing. Don't bite. Go on your trip. It will give you time to think. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine Sally Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 It is a simple email right? Sometimes I think our emotions get so caught up we put way too much thought in to these things. By the sound of it the fact that you got an email means she was thinking about you. What could it hurt really to reply? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 It is a simple email right? Sometimes I think our emotions get so caught up we put way too much thought in to these things. By the sound of it the fact that you got an email means she was thinking about you. What could it hurt really to reply? Oh I dunno. Build up her ego and confidence while destroying his. She's not apoligizing, she is FISHING. Trying to feed her ego. If he's smart and disciplined, he'll ignore it for now. The only messages from ex's you should ever answer are the one's that say "I'm sorry, I screwed up and I want to try again." Otherwise, IGNORE Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 What could it hurt really to reply? It's the context of the letter which invites a silence sandwich, mainly presuming to feel for the OP and then fishing for sympathy and then "you can reply if you like!!", effectively "giving him permission" . Perhaps, under a different context, a response would be healthy. I don't see any upside here. The OP knows their past relationship dynamic best and how all the buttons got pushed. If such a communication had happened to me, I know it wouldn't be blowing my kilt up Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 If such a communication had happened to me, I know it wouldn't be blowing my kilt up Thanks for the visual, Carhill! ROFL! Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 hi op.. its the "you can reply if you like" bit that got me.. bit sarcastic like , how come you have not replied yet? only you can decide if it warrants a reply.. personally if it was me.. id make her wait till my return.. see what emails you get inbetween. have a great trip Link to post Share on other sites
justaman99 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 ignore. She's fishing and I took the bait recently from my ex. I agree with cali. She needs to come back with something more real to be worth a response. She's lonely and life is sucking for her so she's relying on you for support and a boost. You don't owe her that at all. You will give some of your life energy to fuel her happy tank but then she'll leave yours empty. Trust me on that. -Just Link to post Share on other sites
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