just-a-girl Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Okay I posted a couple weeks ago about guy that I am dating that just stopped calling the basic advice was get over it, so I did. Then he starts up again with an apology then we continue to talk like nothing ever happened. Fast forward a few weeks, we go out on our first date and I thought that we had good chemistry. He gave me a good night kiss, ask me out again, then we text back and forth the next couple of days. Then I hear nothing from him again it seems a bit odd to me. We will talk daily then he will disappear I would not care but it just strikes me as odd. If we were to start dating seriously then I do not want to accept this early on but I do not want to come across as psycho either. What is a nice way to say that I won't put up with this in the future? Side note I realize that I could be getting brushed off if that is the case I am ok with that. I am seeing other guys but I am particularly interested in this one. I did call him once but I figure that I do not want to come across as crazy.
Krytie TV Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Okay I posted a couple weeks ago about guy that I am dating that just stopped calling the basic advice was get over it, so I did. Then he starts up again with an apology then we continue to talk like nothing ever happened. Fast forward a few weeks, we go out on our first date and I thought that we had good chemistry. He gave me a good night kiss, ask me out again, then we text back and forth the next couple of days. Then I hear nothing from him again it seems a bit odd to me. We will talk daily then he will disappear I would not care but it just strikes me as odd. If we were to start dating seriously then I do not want to accept this early on but I do not want to come across as psycho either. What is a nice way to say that I won't put up with this in the future? Side note I realize that I could be getting brushed off if that is the case I am ok with that. I am seeing other guys but I am particularly interested in this one. I did call him once but I figure that I do not want to come across as crazy. He's playing the push/pull game, and it seems he is one initiation away from having you completely at his beck and call. If you want some honest advice from someone who has seen a bit of this, it's just to back off. He is setting you up for a roller coaster ride and so far you have been a willing rider. It's been one date. It will never be easier to back away from him than it is right now.
Author just-a-girl Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 Creepy is that a conscious game that men play?
CuriousClaire Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 ehhh..this is the crap that i can't stand about dating. I think you should hint that you're dating others too. Push back. when you next see him, act/dress seductively like he might get "some", then at the end of the date, give him a slow almost kiss/ peck on the lip and say "you've been the most well behaved boy i've seen this week" wink, and walk away. hahhhaha....i can imagine the guy just standing there like a dumb ape, mouth agape and all. However, i think this kind of stuff takes a lot of energy (actually his does) but if you feel like playing.......
sid3 Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 No, some women play the same game. It's frustrating to say the least. Yeah it is kind of creepy. What I've learned is when you back away from people like this, they come back seeking attention. Once you start to invest, they'll pull back again. ****ty huh.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 He's seeing someone else, and only using you to fill in the spare moments when he's free. When a guy pulls this kind of game on you, you can run as fast as you can, or play the same game back on them. But what you can't expect from them is to be serious when the time comes.
Author just-a-girl Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 I think that I will call the whole thing off unless someone was dead, dying, or bleeding which I doubt is the case. If I want to play games Parker Brothers has plenty. I don't expect him to grovel at my feet but basic respect would be nice. I will move on-Thanks for your honest opinions, Angie
Lucky555 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I think there are guys that don't play this game. More than likely he has other girls that hes interested in and that is why he feels he can play you like this..i think in his mind its like "take a number girl" because i am not always available and you are at my beckon call. Forget about him its too much crap..hey you know what he just lowered his class and seductiveness way down...because hes already made you feel like this is not a good situation to be in. Just tell him out, you know what your not getting the time of day anymore good luck bye! I think you are wasting your time already..find another..if he does the same thing let him go till you find the man that can really stand out!
LoveDeluxe78 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I think that I will call the whole thing off unless someone was dead, dying, or bleeding which I doubt is the case. If I want to play games Parker Brothers has plenty. I don't expect him to grovel at my feet but basic respect would be nice. I will move on-Thanks for your honest opinions, Angie Love what you wrote - "Parker Bros. has plenty!"! I think you're making the right decision. However, if it helps, you could ask him, "I had a great time on our date, looking forward to doing it again, but haven't heard from you" Problem is, he may not give you an explanation, or he may not even know why he acts that way! But if it helps you just to confront him about it, then it's worth a try. Just don't do it in a pushy way and you won't come off "psycho"! You have every right to know why he's acting this way and let him know you're not going to accept it! The stupid 20 year old I was seeing pulled the same crap, and it doesn't matter at the end of the day whether he is confused about his feelings, afraid of his feelings or has none towards me, or whatever the hell the reason is, it's just exasperating, and they always call and pursue you like crazy, then back off. I think at the end of the day, the reasons don't matter, whether it's because he's seeing other women and you are his "back burner chick", or whether he genuinely likes you, but pushes people away that he likes (very plausible theory as well), or got freaked out by his feelings, it's just not a game worth playing! It sucks too, esp. when you had such a genuine connection on the date, or at least that's how you feel. Then you wonder, what the hell happened? Hope you can move on from this, but I can totally relate.
my body is a cage Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 have YOU tried calling HIM? some guys give up if a girl never calls them because they assume shes not interested.
Author just-a-girl Posted July 25, 2008 Author Posted July 25, 2008 LoveDelux78 I know exactly what you mean I am not sitting around pining for him it is the mystery of it all that drives me bananas. If I knew what the deal was I would not really care; we are talking about a little over a month here not a LTR. Yes I did meet him online. Yes I did call him once after this started. I left him a message that said call when you get a chance which up to that point was daily.
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