borelandkaren Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 As you would all know by now (!), Tony and I were in business together, building sheds and pouring the concrete floors. When we ended, so did the business and I moved far, far, away. For the past three months, I've had my name out there in the industry and have had no bites. Meanwhile, I've been making my own opportunities and am making a name for myself elsewhere and am ending up in some really strong leadership roles. All good. Well. A couple of weeks ago, I contacted a company who advertised in the local newspaper here on the Gold Coast for a shed erector/labourer. I rang for the position and am now being sent customers of my own, who are hiring me to come and supervise the erection of their sheds and the guy who is putting me onto these has also just told me that he will probably be looking at putting me into his office to sell the sheds and be a general troubleshooter!!!!! Eeeek!!! And while all of this is feeling a bit daunting, I'm so proud and know in my heart that I'm more than capable of fulfilling this role. My problem? No Tony to share it with and although I know I chose my path not to stay with his, I still look at all of my achievements and align them with the way I feel about him and what I learned while I was with him. I want nothing more than to contact him and tell him everything that it is happening for me, how excited I am and scared all at the same time. I learned a lot from this man and things that I learned in my past with him are the things that I'll take into my future. I know though, what the reaction would be if I contacted him, so I would never do it. He would ignore me or abuse me, none of which I want so from here on in, my achievements are my own. I'm so proud of the fact that, under a lot of duress in my relationship with him (& a really heavy dope addiction) I learned not only how to build sheds, I learned how to build in general, pour concrete, run a business, etc, etc. U know what? He's not here to share anything with me but he will never understand what an amazing person he let go, either. I do and for that, more fool him. Nothing and no-one will ever have any control over me again that I do not allow. I will stand strong, on my own, with people around me who love and cherish me for the right reasons, not what they think I offer to them in prestige. He loved the way it looked for us to work together and that "his woman" was all this and that. I never cared about that crap. I loved the sense of achievement. And now it's mine.:)Tally-ho!!!
foxh1234 Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Congrats on all you are doing since the break up. I think you are handling things very well indeed. Continue doing what your doing and find happiness within yourself. That's what I am struggling with at the moment. I will get there, it will just take some hard work and time. I feel better after reading this post, thanks for that.
Author borelandkaren Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 Congrats on all you are doing since the break up. I think you are handling things very well indeed. Continue doing what your doing and find happiness within yourself. That's what I am struggling with at the moment. I will get there, it will just take some hard work and time. I feel better after reading this post, thanks for that. Thanks darl and believe me, not every day is not hugely positive and sometimes I have a few steps back but I push and push and push because I know now that all of the things he told me about myself were untrue. I have so much more about me than I ever thought and I know that every person who writes anything on this forum is the same. The people we had in our lives had a huge negative impact on us and we're all fighting our ways out of that. Keep going FOX. I am so proud of the way you handled yourself when she fronted you the other day. You dealt with the situation with dignity and that's the best start you can give yourself. It's all time and I have had NC now for at least 8 weeks and while it kills me at times that he loved me so little that pride got in his way and he refuses to contact me, it's the best way. If I meant that little to him (& I know I didn't. He is just too stubborn to make contact and I won't, not due to stubbornness but due to knowing how sick an individual he is) I don't want contact with him. He now has to do without me in his life and I know it will be that less rich for him. And your girl has discovered that too. Don't cave. Every time a good memory surfaces, push a bad one into it's place. It doesn't matter how many good times were had, the bad outweighed them. That's why we're all here. Be very proud of the stance you took and take it into every situation you face in the future. You're a strong man. Stand proud.
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