HiItsMe Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I have a friend of mine that has a female co-worker friend that she's been trying to get out of the house to meet men at friendly social gatherings, however...it appears that her friend prefers to stay at home and meet people completely through the online venue. I mean, when we start preferring sitting at our computers on a Fri night trying to flirt with people online, as opposed to doing it face to face, that this is a problem? That this person has social issues? Now would you say this is a person with a serious issue. Ie - agoraphobic?
Stockalone Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I have a friend of mine that has a female co-worker friend that she's been trying to get out of the house to meet men at friendly social gatherings, however...it appears that her friend prefers to stay at home and meet people completely through the online venue. If that woman doesn't want to go out socialising, then she doesn't have to. I mean, when we start preferring sitting at our computers on a Fri night trying to flirt with people online, as opposed to doing it face to face, that this is a problem? That this person has social issues? I have never tried online dating, but I don't think that she has a problem. If she finds online dating more promising or simply easier, then why shouldn't she meet guys that way? I am biased, seeing that I am not a people person. But I also don't think that she has social issues as long as she does what she wants and hasn't been "forced" into solitude. I have declined invitations to certain events I knew I wouldn't enjoy very much and stayed home on friday or saturday night to read a book or watch a movie. Now would you say this is a person with a serious issue. Ie - agoraphobic? Are there any other indicators that she might have a serious problem? If her only "fault" is not wanting to go out on a friday night, I think it is unreasonable to imply that she has an anxiety disorder.
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Online or off, you still stand the risk of meeting an *******. Through online dating, I've met a good eight women over the past two weeks, including the one I'm currently very happy with. You want to tell me why YOU think online dating is inherently inferior to offline?
DunnoWhat Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Online or off, you still stand the risk of meeting an *******. Through online dating, I've met a good eight women over the past two weeks, including the one I'm currently very happy with. You've been busy in the last 14 days You want to tell me why YOU think online dating is inherently inferior to offline? Because he can't get dates and won't listen to good advice. Here is his 'veterans of online dating' thread.
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I have a friend of mine that has a female co-worker friend that she's been trying to get out of the house to meet men at friendly social gatherings, however...it appears that her friend prefers to stay at home and meet people completely through the online venue. I mean, when we start preferring sitting at our computers on a Fri night trying to flirt with people online, as opposed to doing it face to face, that this is a problem? That this person has social issues? Now would you say this is a person with a serious issue. Ie - agoraphobic? No issues at all.. people enjoy dating sites cause they are easily accessible, the pool of people are incredible.. it is much cheaper than going out.. more fun most of the time.. no need to dress up or anything.. can do it at all hours.. it's CONVENIENT!!! (that the best way to describe it).. I think it's a good way to start ... then if you find someone you like, you can always meet face to face..
jadedone Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 First of all, there is no such thing as online dating. You find people you are interested in online then talk a bit then meet in person. It is that in person meeting when dating begins.
bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Would you say the same thing about this message board? i mean what kind of a society are we if you would rather sit at a computer and post our thoughts on a message board than go out and seek advice and comments from real people? what does that make you? there's nothing wrong with online dating, it's actually easier and quicker to find a date.
Star Gazer Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Online dating, if done with the intent of actual dating, does involve "the real world."
woods321 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 For many people it answers just enough of their social needs that they become content with staying in. I think it depends on what you re looking for. If you are looking to meet women who are much different from you, (in age, race, different hobbies, family,etc) I feel online is better. I live in a decent size city, and would be interested in finding a single woman my age or younger that does not have children. Any time I step outside of the home, I see MANY attractive, slender, beautiful, single women. Typically do I see them online? No. Online I see more unattractive,usually older, usually heavier, with a family. If I do see a young pretty, single, childless, woman online it is nearly impossible to get her to reply back to me, as she is rare, and gets SEVERAL emails daily from this city and from around the world. If a woman is on enough sites, she can get 100-200 emails a day. So for me, it is MUCH easier to see a girl like this out, and simply ask her out. Chances are she does not use online dating, and I am not just one of 500-1000 emails she gets a week.
Lishy Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 I think online dating can seem a bit 'desperate' I cannot get my head around people who just want a boyfriend/girlfriend, it seems a bit sad to me - Surely we should just be happy in ourselves and if we meet someone that makes our life even happier then happy days! If you look too hard for love you have less chance of finding it and more chance of dating one loser after another.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 For many people it answers just enough of their social needs that they become content with staying in. I think it depends on what you re looking for. If you are looking to meet women who are much different from you, (in age, race, different hobbies, family,etc) I feel online is better. I live in a decent size city, and would be interested in finding a single woman my age or younger that does not have children. Any time I step outside of the home, I see MANY attractive, slender, beautiful, single women. Typically do I see them online? No. Online I see more unattractive,usually older, usually heavier, with a family. If I do see a young pretty, single, childless, woman online it is nearly impossible to get her to reply back to me, as she is rare, and gets SEVERAL emails daily from this city and from around the world. If a woman is on enough sites, she can get 100-200 emails a day. So for me, it is MUCH easier to see a girl like this out, and simply ask her out. Chances are she does not use online dating, and I am not just one of 500-1000 emails she gets a week. Good point, and you don't have to compete with those emailing her online. I met a woman online that apparently went to a singles function at a church in the past, the same one I went to, and she mentioned that she didn't care for hte singles group becuase of alot of "socially awkward" men she met there...or sometimes just men who were unattractive to her, too many average joes I guess. Anyways, she decided to go the online route and liked it better <shrug> I told her she shouldn't have let that stop her from going to those real life functions. I guess, when some people discover that online...you can just email or block them...while in person, you have to grin and bear someone you have no interest in , striking up a conversation with you at the refreshment table.
CommitmentPhobe Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I don't think it's a good idea to judge people like this. I couldn't imagine getting dates online but if it works for people and gives them some happiness good luck to them.
lovestruck818 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I don't think it's a good idea to judge people like this. I couldn't imagine getting dates online but if it works for people and gives them some happiness good luck to them. I agree it isn't right to judge, but you have to wonder why all these people can't get a date in person. I'm not attractive, I'm not smart, I'm not outgoing, yet I have no problem meeting people in person. I think alot of people use online b/c it's "easy". Easy gets you nowhere. I am not going to waste my time doing things that are easy. Just my opinion.
lovestruck818 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 No issues at all.. people enjoy dating sites cause they are easily accessible, the pool of people are incredible.. it is much cheaper than going out.. more fun most of the time.. no need to dress up or anything.. can do it at all hours.. it's CONVENIENT!!! (that the best way to describe it).. I think it's a good way to start ... then if you find someone you like, you can always meet face to face.. You should not be dating someone...or doing something...just b/c it is convenient.
notgoodatthis Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I agree with the OP. Women and men do the online thing to avoid rejection, period. The problem women have with meeting men is they are not putting themselves out there. You can't expect guys to approach you if you don't put off signals. Remember, the nicer guys usually lack the balls or know what to say to a pretty girl. If the girl will at least give a signal by smiling or making eye contact, even the shy guys will more likely approach you. This is why women date jerks. Jerks have no shame and usually have a lot of game.
grogster Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 This Thread is rife with misconceptions about online dating: We're agoraphobic, physically unattractive, socially awkward, dysfunctional, exploitative "players" and generally inferior to non-online daters. Whew! I'm happy, however, to be in such bad company. Earth to Shackers: people who date online are people, too. Online dating is a means to separate out the losers early with minimal transaction costs. Then, when someone passes muster in e-mails and on the phone, you date them to see if there's that elusive Chemistry. Online dating is especially nice for the middle-aged who don't want to spend time in bars looking for Mr. or Ms. Goodbar. Finally, a relationship is a relationship regardless of how one meets. Liz, I'll see you on Match!
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