CHANTRESS Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Someone please slap me into next week. I know I need to not talk to him anymore...but it's hard. It never changes anything..in fact it makes me feel worse, but it's like a drug. I'm a NC crackhead. lmao How can somthing so SIMPLE be so hard? You would THINK just not doing something would be easy....right??? Sometimes having emotions SUCKS. I want to be Spock for a couple months.LOL All I want is to go one month of NC and I can't even stick to ONE WEEK. Damn him!!!!!
HeatherAngel Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Why do you want to go one month? Is that just 'take it a month at a tie' or do you plan to contact him after that??
roghornio Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Have you deleted his number, enmail address (includign old texts and emails) facebook etc etc?
foxh1234 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 NC is hard but so empowering!! For me, it has opened my eyes to the way our relationship really was and has helped me to see clearly what I want from a partner in the future. It has taken away the pain quicker than anything else I have tried and made me realize how great my life really is. For a long time I thought I needed her to make my life complete. NC has made me realize how wrong that kind of thinking is. Do I miss her ? of course from time to time but I don't miss the fights, lies, confusion, crying, and all the other stuff that happens when a relationship comes to an end NC was hard at first for me because I wanted her to know how hurt I was and the only way she would know was through contact. I also thought she was the only woman I will ever love ( this sounds crazy now, lol ) and I needed to tell her that 1000 times for her to understand. It got easier for me and it will for you when you start to accept that we cannot change another person. We cannot make them want us and we cannot talk our way back. There is no going back, at least no going back to the way we were. NC has taught me these things and so very much more. Stick with it and it will teach you everything you need to move on and find peace with yourself.
ioncebelieved Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 NC takes practice to get it right! Fox gave some spot on reasoning!!! I have tried several times over the past several months and today is my personal best with 22 days of it!!! I am holding strong, but as Fox pointed YOU still miss them, but for me as well as Fox, it has dulled the pain! I would be lying if I said it is not there anymore. Chantress, I know your situation because I lived it too...Sweetheart, the only option you have left is NC unless you want to be stuck in Limbo!! I also want to add that yeah I still wonder what she is doing and all that, and if I was communicating I would know, but It was finally time that my silence spoke tons!!!!
SundaeMorning Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 The last time I broke NC, I felt 100x more horrible afterwards than I did the moment b4 we spoke. It made me feel like I was back to square one. I had been going strong with NC for a couple of weeks, but all of a sudden, I just had to talk to him (via IM) or else my brain felt like it was going to explode! What happened during and after the conversation was that my entire body wanted to explode. I got that familiar chest-aching, stomach-in-knots, incredibly sad and overwhelming feeling again... I thought I was rid of it! The most difficult part for me is thinking, "Oh, I'm okay. I can handle it. I'm sad but doing way better..." only to break NC and feel the exact opposite. I called my good friend, freaking out, asking "Why?! Why did I do that?" expecting him to call me stupid or something, bc that's how I felt. But, instead, he told me that I wasn't crazy or stupid... that it was okay that I did it. That at least in this time, I would learn how to bounce back from the bad feelings a little easier and faster. That eventually, I should become more resilient. He didn't suggest I break NC every other week just so that I could reduce the bounce-back time, haha.. but I think he meant that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and realize that it's normal to want to contact your ex. The point is, you can forgive yourself for breaking NC, but you shouldn't forget how it makes you feel! WORSE, not better!
northstar1 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 NC is hard but so empowering!! For me, it has opened my eyes to the way our relationship really was and has helped me to see clearly what I want from a partner in the future. It has taken away the pain quicker than anything else I have tried and made me realize how great my life really is. For a long time I thought I needed her to make my life complete. NC has made me realize how wrong that kind of thinking is. Do I miss her ? of course from time to time but I don't miss the fights, lies, confusion, crying, and all the other stuff that happens when a relationship comes to an end NC was hard at first for me because I wanted her to know how hurt I was and the only way she would know was through contact. I also thought she was the only woman I will ever love ( this sounds crazy now, lol ) and I needed to tell her that 1000 times for her to understand. It got easier for me and it will for you when you start to accept that we cannot change another person. We cannot make them want us and we cannot talk our way back. There is no going back, at least no going back to the way we were. NC has taught me these things and so very much more. Stick with it and it will teach you everything you need to move on and find peace with yourself. Good one Fox. I think people sometimes confuse NC as a tool to deal with ex, or to get the missing you and to want to come back. Biggest mistake in 95% of cases. NC will not bring back most ex's, esp. if the dumpers are female (in my limited opinion) NC is for YOU to heal. To stop the constant pain you feel after a breakup. As many have said, NC is like breaking an addiction. You want any little bit of contact with the ex, a text, email, call. Just to know that they still think of you. It can take all your willpower not to reach out to them, let them know how you feel, or how you miss them. And in most cases, if you get a response, it will NOT be what you are looking for.
Chinook Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I know you have probably seen this before - but it always helps re-posting it. Like the guy says: No emails No phonecalls No sms messages No IM No smoke signals No Facebook/Myspace/Bebo etc No talking to friends about him No going to the bars/places he hangs out No smoke signals (again) No drivebys No snail mail Etc, yada, etc.
Recommended Posts