bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I wrote in a previous thread that i wanted to date someone from work but i had dated others at work previously and i thought my past would prevent me and this new person from becoming friends. well i was wrong. we started talking and we exchanged email addresses. she emailed me first and we have exchanged emails a few times over the last few days but today when i came into work she didnt say anything to me and she hasnt responded to my last email in 2 days. i dont know if someone has gotten to her and told her some bad things about me or not or if there is just something else going on with her. my friends tell me to just ignore her and things will work out but i am paranoid that it is something else. i had a business lunch with one of her best friends and i casually told her that i didnt want a girlfriend... i dont know if that is a contributing factor or not either. i just dont know what to make of this situation or what i shoudl do about it.
kindaforward Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 The fact that you might have a established "reputation" could probably make her have seconds thoughts about your true intentions. My suggestion is to email her once again, and casually ask why she hasn't been responding to you. If she heard you weren't looking for a girlfriend she might be distancing herself from you in order not to get hurt if she had previously thought of you as dating material. Regardless, I think you should go ahead and email her. She is probably waiting to see if you are willing to "seek" her out. I think you should do a little more pursuing here in order to give her the right impression.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Reputation? what kind of reputation?lol. I think the best thing is to give it time.
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 just pleasantries through email. hello, my facebook is this... i like that... why were you so scared to talk to me... blah blah blah. just nice back and forth getting to know someone. as for my reputation... i dated 2 other girls in that department, 1 moved away, 1 is still there, and even though she broke up with me... she vowed to never let me date anyone else there, so anytime someone shows interest her and her friends swoop in and talk to that person, tell them how bad of a guy i am, and shut down any chance of me talking to them. reputation.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 BMP the sex must have been too good for her to forget, that's why she's like that! lol. You might need a new job. Please stop crapping where you eat. If your gonna do dirt, do it on the outside.
stillafool Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Maybe she is too smart to date where she works. I hate to say it but you do sound like you have a bad reputation. She probably doesn't want to be a part of the gossip mill. If I were you I would start dating girls outside of your work if you can.
silvergirl Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I think you need to get out of the office. Is there a reason why you keep dating people you work with?
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I think you need to get out of the office. Is there a reason why you keep dating people you work with? It's hard not to sleep with girls at the office silvergitl I get where BMP is coming from. it's excitig to do it on your lunch break and to smrik about it going home. lol. But on the real's I see men get fired for messing with the wrong chicks. crazy and deranged!!!
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 You must have done something wrong to this woman for her to be so scorned. I don't believe you are purely innocent, pardon me for I am cynical. Might I ask why you keep targetting people at work? Why not try meeting women outside of work? sometimes people on this board amaze me with their naiveté. I did nothing to this woman. she dumped me. she dumped me and told me that she didnt want us to stop talking. that was nuts to me. and then i told her i wanted to date someone else there and she said "fine, i am the one who broke up with you so i dont care." then when i did it, she tried her hardest to mess that up! i did not cheat on her, treat her bad or anything. she has never been in a real relationship before. she has 2 kids with a guy she claimed to be engaged to before, but he was married the whole time. i think she just couldnt handle being with a decent guy. the breakup was out of the blue, and afterwards i found out she had messed with her "baby daddy" while her and i were together. she is also messing with a married man who works in a differnet department at our job right now. i dont care what you say... i did no harm to her. i swear on my kids lives i didn't. i am drama free - i have a no tolerance policy for arguing or fighting which you would be surprised is a problem for females. if you havent met a female or male who is just crazy for no reason then you havent lived enough. i dont just mess with people at work, i do date outside of work, i have met several people outside of work. i am at work most of the time and i am in a room with 120 women and only 5 men with me being the only real eligible one - they are gorgeous and it is sometimes hard to turn down.
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 BMP the sex must have been too good for her to forget, that's why she's like that! lol. You might need a new job. Please stop crapping where you eat. If your gonna do dirt, do it on the outside. thats the trippy part... WE NEVER ACUTALLY HAD SEX!! she did some thinkgs (wink, wink) but we never went all the way. that job is too good to let go of, there is no way i leave. i dont consider it dirt, but i do get a little dirty outside of work too.
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 I think you need to get out of the office. Is there a reason why you keep dating people you work with? i constantly work. i have 2 jobs plus a small business i do on the side. put that with 2.5 kids and you see i have no time. i do date outside of work, but since most of my "adult" time is at work, and there is such a disperity of women to men there it is very hard to turn down. sorry. i have tried, and have turned down some of the women there, though.
O'Malley Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I'd say to resist temptation and make it a policy not to date coworkers from now on. Keep your work and social lives separate. It doesn't matter if your reputation is deserved or not, the last thing you want is your professionalism being called into question due to office gossip.
Gemini0525 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Maybe she just doesn't want to make it obvious at work that something may be going on between the two of you...
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 I'm not naive at all. I merely passed the specific sentence because time after time only one side of the story is told and several posts later the full picture comes to light and then the said sentences beforehand become half truths or outright lies. If you're hand has been burnt at work once, why put yourself through the possibility of your hand being burnt a second time? Would I be wrong in believing that apart of you enjoys the recklessness of dating in the work place? I think you'd be better off dating outside of work, especially if an Ex of you has an anti-agenda against you. You're just setting yourself up for more and more knock downs and an extension of your 'reputation'. A man can look at a gorgeous woman whilst maintaining self control. I have wild, magic mushrooms growing in my Garden. I could eat them and have a trip, but I don't because I have self control. you might be right. i really like this new girl though. i am stubborn, and i hate the fact that i dated someone else (FOR ONLY 1 MONTH) and because of that i can't get to know someone else. i think it is stupid, but probably the only thing i can do, i dont know. friends who work there tell me to just forget about other people and what they say but that is very hard to do. i do have self control. i had a feeling this new girl liked me for months, but i ignored her because i didnt want to date anyone else at work, but we talked for about 30 minutes while our system was down one day and she shocked me! i totally was floored by who she was and some of the stuff she was in to etc. and found her interesting. i have self control, but now i am intrigued by her i guess.
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 Maybe she just doesn't want to make it obvious at work that something may be going on between the two of you... i talked to her today and i think everything is OK. we are going to lunch 2morrow and she invited me to go bowling later tonight with her and her friends and wants me to bring my kids with... i am not sure if i will go or not. i am very conflicted right now i feel like i could be making a big mistake and missing out on something at the same time. bigman is confused!!!
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 to add on... she asked me to go bowling, and she asked me to go to other places before when we talked and she always says "you can bring your kids." i dont know if she just wants to be my friend or if she likes me or what? she could want me kids around to meet them, or just because it doesnt matter because we are just friends. i told her i dont have my kids around people i date or friends unless i am really close to them, and she invites them anytime she mentions her and I doning something... I CANT FIGURE THIS GIRL OUT! i usually dont chase girls, i let them come to me just so i dont have to wonder about things like this.
stillafool Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 i constantly work. i have 2 jobs plus a small business i do on the side. put that with 2.5 kids and you see i have no time. i do date outside of work, but since most of my "adult" time is at work, and there is such a disperity of women to men there it is very hard to turn down. sorry. i have tried, and have turned down some of the women there, though. What, are the women throwing themselves at you? If so you should complain to managment. If I were you I would just go to work to work and leave my personal life for after work. It's good you have women you date who don't work with you.
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