makinitwork Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 have been together 20 years and married 11 1/2 years seperated 9 months now" just when i thought I knew him" he started dressing real nice- lookin real good she was buying him clothes he has had a year long affair.He never admitted it to me D.continues to spend time with her with her family. he says he wants to be with me but is not showing me confused whether to get a divorce> pushing me so far
Angel1111 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Actions speak louder than words. No matter what he says to you, he's not at all concerned with how he's putting your marriage in jeapordy. You need to leave him because he apparently wants a divorce but will not tell you that directly - he'll just keep pushing you until you make the decision. Don't concern yourself with why he's doing this. If he's seeing someone else while you're separated (and was maybe seeing her while you were married), then walk away from this. As hard as it is to accept, the marriage you once knew no longer exists. I'm sorry this has happened. If you can't bring yourself to file for a divorce or tell him it's over, then stop talking to him completely until you can pull yourself together and figure out how to proceed. If he calls, tell him that you know about his affair and that you no longer want to have anything to do with him. Then, do just that - don't answer his calls, his texts, emails, knock on the door, nothing. Basically drop off the face of the earth for a couple of months. Then see where you're at. If hasn't knocked himself out trying to contact you, then you'll have your answer. And if he has, you still have to decide if you want a man back who is willing to do this kind of thing.
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 have been together 20 years and married 11 1/2 years seperated 9 months now" just when i thought I knew him" he started dressing real nice- lookin real good she was buying him clothes he has had a year long affair.He never admitted it to me D.continues to spend time with her with her family. he says he wants to be with me but is not showing me confused whether to get a divorce> pushing me so far I had to read your post twice.. punctuation would be nice.. He's putting you on the back burner... keeping you warm just in case she dumps him...
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