AudiA4 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 ok so a quick 411 of the relationship ect. It went on for about 3.5 yrs. I won't lie and say it was perfect but then again it wasn't horrible. sure we had our quarrels I mean its normal all relationships do it was just never over anything important. anyways she ends it before x mas this past year which made things just shody but meh you get over things. it was super hard at first I felt like I hit rock bottom. I didn't want to lose her but I forced NC even though I know I didn't want to and I wanted to try and work out something maybe friends. but we all know that never works out just right. so now its been hmm... I wanna say 8 months now I mean I am doing great. actually get to go out without someone on my Ar$$e about going out and having girls around me. I'm in the best shape ever planning on running a 10k in oktober here in Orlando for Disney. I'm even working on getting another sport bike. I've been told that I have a good appearance so I am looking into modeling which is kinda weird seeing as how I'm a pre med student close to graduation. even with all the the good coming out there is still a problem that I am having. deep down inside I know that I am completely over her. I mean for being in a relationship for that long what she did was wrong. she was seeing someone behind my back but thats besides the point. anyways it just seems that now that I'm back on my feet I don't let any girl at all close to me nor do I trust them. I seem to lead them on somehow which is actually weird because half the time I'm just a nice guy and just treat them good. but I have already hurt the 7th girl and I don't mean too but what can I do? I mean I tell them off the bat I don't want a relationship and the 2 worst ones was this one girl that I straight up told my Audi meant more to me the being with her. and the other I said I don't trust her and that my car and working out meant more to me than her. I'm not trying to be an As$$e but I just really despise relationships and don't believe in them anymore. I mean some of these girls that like me don't get me wrong are great girls and probably really are as sincere and humble as they seem. but still it's been so long I am so free I'm so close to medical school that I just don't care anymore. and to make things worse I feel like for no reason I am being haunted by my past. I took a nap today and this marks the 3rd day in a row that I have had some form of dream that my ex was in. and yesterday morning at work I was actually wondering how she is doing and what not. I know I don't have feelings for her anymore but is it bad to wonder how she is doing even though she did what she did? and as far as having this hate towards other women that like me is that normal? I mean I know I shouldn't be like this at all but It bothers me that girls even try. I tell them straight up from the beginning and they still get attached? I would just like to find a better way to cope with this whole issue? one of my best friends is leaving next week to Korea for a year so we will all miss him so I mean I have been going out with him lots to hang out but also try to keep my mind off things. we goto clubs, bars, ect. I even upped my workout time to 2x's a day 2 hr sessions. but I still keep coming back to this remorseful feeling about not being attracted to girls that like me and confused on why I am thinking about my ex all of a sudden at such a random time. this Friday I am leaving to the cayman Islands for my sisters wedding so hopefully 2 weeks out there will keep my mind off of things. but still I am just so confused now and I don't want to handle things in the wrong way. what should I do LS community? also if it helps I have been total complete NC with the ex. and have stayed loyal to it never once trying to contact her at all. when she tries to contact me I ignore her. thanks for your time ^_^ good day to you all.
Author AudiA4 Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 ok so a quick 411 of the relationship ect. It went on for about 3.5 yrs. I won't lie and say it was perfect but then again it wasn't horrible. sure we had our quarrels I mean its normal all relationships do it was just never over anything important. anyways she ends it before x mas this past year which made things just shody but meh you get over things. it was super hard at first I felt like I hit rock bottom. I didn't want to lose her but I forced NC even though I know I didn't want to and I wanted to try and work out something maybe friends. but we all know that never works out just right. so now its been hmm... I wanna say 8 months now I mean I am doing great. actually get to go out without someone on my Ar$$e about going out and having girls around me. I'm in the best shape ever planning on running a 10k in oktober here in Orlando for Disney. I'm even working on getting another sport bike. I've been told that I have a good appearance so I am looking into modeling which is kinda weird seeing as how I'm a pre med student close to graduation. even with all the the good coming out there is still a problem that I am having. deep down inside I know that I am completely over her. I mean for being in a relationship for that long what she did was wrong. she was seeing someone behind my back but thats besides the point. anyways it just seems that now that I'm back on my feet I don't let any girl at all close to me nor do I trust them. I seem to lead them on somehow which is actually weird because half the time I'm just a nice guy and just treat them good. but I have already hurt the 7th girl and I don't mean too but what can I do? I mean I tell them off the bat I don't want a relationship and the 2 worst ones was this one girl that I straight up told my Audi meant more to me the being with her. and the other I said I don't trust her and that my car and working out meant more to me than her. I'm not trying to be an As$$e but I just really despise relationships and don't believe in them anymore. I mean some of these girls that like me don't get me wrong are great girls and probably really are as sincere and humble as they seem. but still it's been so long I am so free I'm so close to medical school that I just don't care anymore. and to make things worse I feel like for no reason I am being haunted by my past. I took a nap today and this marks the 3rd day in a row that I have had some form of dream that my ex was in. and yesterday morning at work I was actually wondering how she is doing and what not. I know I don't have feelings for her anymore but is it bad to wonder how she is doing even though she did what she did? and as far as having this hate towards other women that like me is that normal? I mean I know I shouldn't be like this at all but It bothers me that girls even try. I tell them straight up from the beginning and they still get attached? I would just like to find a better way to cope with this whole issue? one of my best friends is leaving next week to Korea for a year so we will all miss him so I mean I have been going out with him lots to hang out but also try to keep my mind off things. we goto clubs, bars, ect. I even upped my workout time to 2x's a day 2 hr sessions. but I still keep coming back to this remorseful feeling about not being attracted to girls that like me and confused on why I am thinking about my ex all of a sudden at such a random time. this Friday I am leaving to the cayman Islands for my sisters wedding so hopefully 2 weeks out there will keep my mind off of things. but still I am just so confused now and I don't want to handle things in the wrong way. what should I do LS community? also if it helps I have been total complete NC with the ex. and have stayed loyal to it never once trying to contact her at all. when she tries to contact me I ignore her. thanks for your time ^_^ good day to you all.
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