rainfall Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Good.. I appreciate that.. if YOU don't like it.. then DON'T watch it... but to tell your partner NOT to watch it.. there's a huge difference.. that's controlling.. and I would never put up with a control freak.. NEVER! It doesn't make you a control freak to tell your partner not to watch porn. If you don't want porn to be a part of your relationship you should tell your partner not to watch it. That doesn't mean they will listen to though and if they don't then the person who is against porn has to decide to put up with it or leave.
GreenEyedLady Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 It doesn't make you a control freak to tell your partner not to watch porn. If you don't want porn to be a part of your relationship you should tell your partner not to watch it. That doesn't mean they will listen to though and if they don't then the person who is against porn has to decide to put up with it or leave. If you are with a partner who likes to watch porn and you don't, that sounds like a fundamental incompatibility to me.
Rooster_DAR Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 If you are with a partner who likes to watch porn and you don't, that sounds like a fundamental incompatibility to me. I agree here as well. If it's a problem with one of them it's a problem with the relationship. Needs to be talked about. I think porn is okay, but only if my partner has no problem with it, and as long is it does not take away from core intimacy in the relationship. Cheers!
jj2007 Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 I HAVE BEEN WITH THE SAME MAN FOR FIVE YEARS. WE ARE BOTH OLDER I AM 39 AND HE IS 53 NOW, ANYWAY, I HAVE CAUGHT HIM WATCHING PORN AND MASTRBATING TO IT INSTEAD OF OFFEING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME, HE WILL WAIT TILL I GET UP THEN DO THIS. IS THIS EMOTIONAL CHEATING? I FIND THIS BEHAVIOR VERY UPSETTING AND HAVE TOLD HIM HOW I FEEL. HIS REPLY IS- IT'S NO BIG DEAL. PLEASE HELP WITH ANY ADVICE. THANKS:eek: Why are you yelling? IMO, no it is not cheating. Be glad that he is looking at porn and satisfying himself- it could be worse- he could be out satisfying himself and someone else behind your back. Have you tried watching it with him and both of you satisfying each other? Some men just like porn. It's really not a big deal, like I said, worse things could happen. Try to be open to experiment with new things with him and you might be surpised! Good luck and hang in there!
silktricks Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Watching porn IMO is not cheating - can't be cheating - no one else is there . If he's jerking off when you are right there with him, and ignoring you in favor of porn, then I'd say you've got a problem. How big a problem it is could be a different question. As far as telling your SO that he/she can't watch porn or can't masturbate - that's too controlling IMO, too. You can say it makes you uncomfortable or jealous or whatever, but what the other person does with that may not be what you want. Then the ball's back in your court (so to speak) . Is it a make or break thing with you? If it is, then you probably need to deal with it. Nobody can deal with absolutely everything in a relationship - pick the stuff that really matters. Since oh probably about 99.9% of guys out there are going to masturbate, you may have a limited selection if this is a make or break deal for you :).
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