PandorasBox Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Something I have wondered, do you think if someone talks about others behind their backs, and/or tells lies, and/or makes up stuff, about other people, like friends or people they know, they could talk about, lie to or be deceitful to their spouse as well?
tanbark813 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Yes, very much so. That's one of the red flags I look out for is if a girl lies to someone close to her.
Pyro Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Something I have wondered, do you think if someone talks about others behind their backs, and/or tells lies, and/or makes up stuff, about other people, like friends or people they know, they could talk about, lie to or be deceitful to their spouse as well? Definitely. Lying/deceitfulness holds no boundaries.
Tomcat33 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 ABSOLUTELY! I lost a close friend for this exact same problem. She could not stop talking behind people's backs, and would make stuff up. She was of our group of friends and it eventually ate away at my trust for her. I HATE people talking behind other's backs, if you have a bone to pick you confront the person directly you do not go to other friends in the circle and start to plot drag others down with you. I trusted this woman like my sister, and I later found out in an argument (in 10 yrs of knowing each other we had only argued twice) but we got into an argument over some personal stuff that I was going through and she went really below the belt she let out some personal thoughts she had been harbouring and been keeping from me on what she thought of me, and it was THE most hurtful thing a friend could do to me. She completely betrayed me and I should have known better since she continually talked about EVERYONE behind their backs even her own syblings so why would I expect to be an exception to that? I wrote her off forever and so did our group of friends they completely backed me 100% in this and we came to terms we don't need that kind of energy in our circle. We are all grown adults and that is unacceptable.
Nevermind Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Absolutely. If they can't be true friends, then they can't be true to anybody. Huge red flag.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 Well, so far I agree with everyone. I feel the same too. The reason I had asked was, there is this guy at my work, he is super nice, he will do anything for anyone, BUT.....something I noticed about him is, he loves to brag and exaggerate, and gossip about others. He is one of these people that is two faced. He will be as good as gold to your face, but the minute you're not around he talks about you like a dog to other people. I always thought if they can gossip TO you, they can gossip ABOUT you. When he first came to this job, he was telling people about another job he does on the side, mainly on weekends. He told everyone he OWNED that particular company he worked for. Come to find out, there is another guy that knows him at our work, who told us, he doesn't own that company at all, and told us who did. But he did say he was a supervisor over some people but not a owner. I have also known him to say something one week, then two weeks later, change his story to something completly different. I think he does this so much he doesn't remember what he has told to who. I met his wife, and they have three kids. Great wife he seems to have, very outgoing and friendly. I feel kind of bad for her in a way since he is like this. That is why I was wondering if he can be this way to others maybe he can be like that to her. He feeds everyone a bunch of BS, so I would think he does her too. Maybe she knows how he is, then again maybe she is completley unaware. I usually will stay away from him and don't feed into his BS.
Pyro Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Well, so far I agree with everyone. I feel the same too. The reason I had asked was, there is this guy at my work, he is super nice, he will do anything for anyone, BUT.....something I noticed about him is, he loves to brag and exaggerate, and gossip about others. He is one of these people that is two faced. He will be as good as gold to your face, but the minute you're not around he talks about you like a dog to other people. I always thought if they can gossip TO you, they can gossip ABOUT you. When he first came to this job, he was telling people about another job he does on the side, mainly on weekends. He told everyone he OWNED that particular company he worked for. Come to find out, there is another guy that knows him at our work, who told us, he doesn't own that company at all, and told us who did. But he did say he was a supervisor over some people but not a owner. I have also known him to say something one week, then two weeks later, change his story to something completly different. I think he does this so much he doesn't remember what he has told to who. I met his wife, and they have three kids. Great wife he seems to have, very outgoing and friendly. I feel kind of bad for her in a way since he is like this. That is why I was wondering if he can be this way to others maybe he can be like that to her. He feeds everyone a bunch of BS, so I would think he does her too. Maybe she knows how he is, then again maybe she is completley unaware. I usually will stay away from him and don't feed into his BS. Sounds like this guy is concerned with impressing people and getting external validation more than anything. Thats a good plan that you have.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 Sounds like this guy is concerned with impressing people and getting external validation more than anything. Thats a good plan that you have. Yeah, the thing about him is though, he is a really likeable person. Good personality, life of the party kind of person. Some of us have gotten together with him and his wife once and all went out. He is s funny, but you can just tell his so full os sh*t with just about everything he says. He makes up stuff that is either not true at all, or really far fetched. He loves to brag too. He has two buddies that work for our local police department and he will say things like, "Yeah I got the police department in my back pocket. Anything I want them to do or need done they will do." I have to wonder how far down in his back pocket they really are, lol!
Pyro Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Yeah, the thing about him is though, he is a really likeable person. Good personality, life of the party kind of person. Some of us have gotten together with him and his wife once and all went out. He is s funny, but you can just tell his so full os sh*t with just about everything he says. He makes up stuff that is either not true at all, or really far fetched. He loves to brag too. He has two buddies that work for our local police department and he will say things like, "Yeah I got the police department in my back pocket. Anything I want them to do or need done they will do." I have to wonder how far down in his back pocket they really are, lol! Those type of people really make me cringe. Thats cool that at least he is a likable person, but if he keeps it up he will be exposed soon enough and lose some friends, at least that is what happened to an ex friend of mine. Is he the selfish type of person? Does he tend to blame his faults on other things/people?
Author PandorasBox Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 Those type of people really make me cringe. Thats cool that at least he is a likable person, but if he keeps it up he will be exposed soon enough and lose some friends, at least that is what happened to an ex friend of mine. Is he the selfish type of person? Does he tend to blame his faults on other things/people? Well, I don't know him well enough to really know if he blames others for things, but my guess would be he very well might, since lying, bragging, and gossiping seems to be what he does best. I do think he has already lost some friends though, becasue the other guy that works with us that knows him said he doesn't have the same group of friends him and his wife used to hang out with. I don't know if thats why he doesn't have those friends anymore but it could be. I do know he really puts his wife high up on a pedastool, and she does him as well. Maybe he feels he should since she puts up with his BS, that is assuming she knows how he is lol. He feeds people so many BS lines its no wonder what he tells her.
Pyro Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Well, I don't know him well enough to really know if he blames others for things, but my guess would be he very well might, since lying, bragging, and gossiping seems to be what he does best. I do think he has already lost some friends though, becasue the other guy that works with us that knows him said he doesn't have the same group of friends him and his wife used to hang out with. I don't know if thats why he doesn't have those friends anymore but it could be. I do know he really puts his wife high up on a pedastool, and she does him as well. Maybe he feels he should since she puts up with his BS, that is assuming she knows how he is lol. He feeds people so many BS lines its no wonder what he tells her. Sounds like two of kind to me. Seems like that the both of them are snobby and stuck-up. I don't think that cheating is a problem in their marriage, at least not now.
Author PandorasBox Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 Sounds like two of kind to me. Seems like that the both of them are snobby and stuck-up. I don't think that cheating is a problem in their marriage, at least not now. Ahhhh funny you should bring the cheating thing up. I actually forgot about that lol. He made it known to us not long ago that his wife cheated on him when their second child was only about 10 months old. He said she told him how she felt neglected because he worked all the time. I don't even remember how the subject got brought up. It was mentioned while a bunch of us were at lunch one day. He had made the comment so many people he knew would have thought it would have been him to cheat since he was such a joker about things, but it was her, and how they seperated, and he forgave her and they got back together after being apart for a few months, and he really felt she would never do it again, because he felt she had learned her lesson.
Pyro Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Ahhhh funny you should bring the cheating thing up. I actually forgot about that lol. He made it known to us not long ago that his wife cheated on him when their second child was only about 10 months old. He said she told him how she felt neglected because he worked all the time. I don't even remember how the subject got brought up. It was mentioned while a bunch of us were at lunch one day. He had made the comment so many people he knew would have thought it would have been him to cheat since he was such a joker about things, but it was her, and how they seperated, and he forgave her and they got back together after being apart for a few months, and he really felt she would never do it again, because he felt she had learned her lesson. Well now he has an excuse if he ever ventures on down that road.
Recommended Posts