confused38 Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 3 months ago my boyfriend went fishing with his male friend and his friends lover was called later to join them. Found out that they all had fun together. My bf insists all he did was touch her breasts. I find this hard to believe, but I'm trying. we broke up for a short stint, but we live together and I took him back. A few weeks ago I went out town for the day and he spent the day with another friend. When I returned thinking we would do something that night, he informed me he wanted to hang with his buds. I thought he would be home by 10-11 he did not show till 3:00am. when he came in he informed me they went to strip club. the next day I asked if he got a private dance and he said yes. Really need input!! I feel really hurt. This is a 3 year relationship and I had no clue he had such trouble controlling hisself. Don't know how to trust him.
superd Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 touching breasts and getting a lap dance isn't exactly cheating but maybe he is seeing what you will take, hes testing you, you need to confront him now and tell him you won't put up with it anymore.
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Tell him what you've told us, that you are really hurt and having trouble trusting him, and as superd says I agree that now is the time to tell him that you've had enough and you will not put up with it anymore. And make sure you put it across in way that he knows you are absolutely positive on this one.
Ryan Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 3 months ago my boyfriend went fishing with his male friend and his friends lover was called later to join them. Found out that they all had fun together. My bf insists all he did was touch her breasts. Uh...what kind of fishing is THAT? I don't know how you go from "they had fun" to copping a feel. Some additional detail would be rather helpful.
Author confused38 Posted August 3, 2003 Author Posted August 3, 2003 additional information: They were drinking heavily while fishing. He stayed out all night with these 2. His friend has a girlfriend too. My bf's phone is in my name and his friend called his gf and asked for some other girl by accident. She called me and I checked the number called on my bf's phone and she called to see who it was. Turns out her boyfriend was seeing this girl for 3 months. Ryan I just find it hard to believe that a man in this situation would only feel boobs. I spoke to this girl also the next day and she said he told her that we were broke up. She gave the same story but I think she didn't want to make herself look bad. He was behind her touching her breasts while the guy was getting ....!! you know!?
moimeme Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Um, Ryan, I think the two statements are meant to be related. I do believe 'had fun' is a euphemism in this case. But surely you knew this and didn't really need 'further detail' to verify? So why would you ask for details, hmmm?.. Nudge, nudge, wink wink.
Tony T Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 YOU WRITE: "Ryan I just find it hard to believe that a man in this situation would only feel boobs." What better time to "hook up" than on a "fishing" trip? Hey, I'm with you confused38. Touching boobs is not nearly as satisfying as other things. To me, it's just the previews before the feature attraction...coming soon to a fishing spot near you.
cindy0039 Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Originally posted by confused38 additional information: They were drinking heavily while fishing. He stayed out all night with these 2. His friend has a girlfriend too... I just find it hard to believe that a man in this situation would only feel boobs. I spoke to this girl also the next day and she said he told her that we were broke up. She gave the same story but I think she didn't want to make herself look bad. He was behind her touching her breasts while the guy was getting ....!! you know!? I would tend to believe their story since they both said the same thing. And I doubt your boyfriend would have gotten more since her boyfriend was there. Just my opinion.
Author confused38 Posted August 3, 2003 Author Posted August 3, 2003 Well it would be nice to believe him, but he's been in a similar situation with the same guy and his ex wife and he had alot more than a feel. Of course this was before I met him. Someone wave a magic wand and take the images out of my head!
sharpe1 Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Lets all sit back take the peacepipe out of our mouths and be honest.This guy needs a swift kick in the butt and out the door!!!!Candy coating opinions don't help the person in the bad relationship.Kick him to the curb!!!!
sharpe1 Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Someone needs to wave the wand and turn him into a prince instead of a frog.Don't hold your breath.Throw the frog into someone elses pond.
moimeme Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 And I doubt your boyfriend would have gotten more since her boyfriend was there. Just my opinion. For reasons unknown to me, there are men out there who want to see their women with other men so that this might have been a MMF threesome is not impossible. Nor is it impossible that they all decided on the story they would tell. Anyway, whether it was a full threesome or 'just playing with boobs', why would anybody want to stay with a guy who would get that intimate with another woman? Where do you draw the line? Will it be ok for him to 'just have oral sex' with another woman? Or have intercourse but come outside? Sheesh!
cindy0039 Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 Oh trust me, I'm not encouraging this woman to stay with the guy. My first instinct was that MAYBE he was telling the truth. But now that I've heard the story of the other threesome before her, the whole situation does sound rather...um...fishy (sorry, I couldn't resist). I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him...dare I say...back!
superd Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 Its sounds like a threesome to me too. What guy is going to settle for only touching boobs when the other guy is getting action. The guy had to of at least got something.
J0ey Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 All i got to say is lose this guy. I mean, come on! He touched another girl~he touched another girl! Time to get a new dude
jalexy Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 touching breasts and lap dance is CHEATING!!! say bye loser to him
wideawake Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 If my girl went out and let another guy touch her, I wouldn't be with her anymore... Kick his lame ass to the curb already!
superd Posted August 4, 2003 Posted August 4, 2003 You know what, something seems fishy about this post, I don't buy the whole scenario, its sounds someone has an overactive imagination, I apologize to the poster who started this thread if I am wrong, but it sounds like its either b.s. or you were involved in the threesome of no gooders yourself and either way you are looking for a reaction. For example, you could of said that your bf touched some girls breasts and have left out the fantastic imagery of the wild boat sex orgy. C'mon now!!!!
Author confused38 Posted August 5, 2003 Author Posted August 5, 2003 Yes superd I dreamed all this up??!! I never made it sound like they were on a boat! It was on a car next to a river(thats what I was told anyway! Yes I do have an imaganation, I'll give you that. I wish I didn't, then maybe these images of "the what if's would not be in my head"! I can be a very indecisive person, I weigh every aspect and then make my decision, which could take some time. I appreciate all the replys and it is helping me come to a decision. I'm smart enough to know that all I can do is live with what I feel comfortable with and that means forgive(not forget) or throw him back in the river! Hopefully my scales won't be tipped to much longer.
sharpe1 Posted August 5, 2003 Posted August 5, 2003 I thought we were supposed to be giving helpful input to people not calling them liars. Put whatever your smoking away and stop being so paranoid!!!!!!!!
Author confused38 Posted August 5, 2003 Author Posted August 5, 2003 Thanks Sharpe1. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks someone might be smoking something. Surperd can't seem to make up the mind from the replys being sent. Anymore takers?
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