mortensorchid Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 This is off the subject from my last two threads, but here is a question about how women should and shouldn't dress. Most days, I wear casual clothes. When I say casual, I mean that in the summers I wear T shirts and shorts and winter I wear jeans and a sweatshirt when I am on "me time". When I go out, I don't always wear skirts and dresses, but I wear make up and jewelry. Today I was wearing a T shirt and shorts and flip flops out at a street fair. I bumped into a few guy friends and they said I didn't look very feminine. I said I was dressing for comfort and it was too hot. They said I never look very sexy. It made me feel bad. They were quick to point out that one of the problems is that I don't have any women friends. I hang around all guys all the time, and they treat me like one of the guys. I have women friends, but I spend me real "hang out" time with mostly guys. They also said that I am an independent tough girl, and that comes off as being cold and unfeeling. This makes me uneasy. SO should I make an effort to dress more feminine? Will men as well as women find me less intimidating?
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 I'm not sure if it's the way you dress or it's also partially attitude. I rarely wear makeup, can't stand lipstick, but if I do wear makeup it's abit of eyeliner and a touch of mascara. If you are comfortable with how you look, that will come across in your energy. Another thing, don't dress for anyone else but for you. Don't expect compliments, that way you won't be disappointed.
kittensmittens Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 If you are comfortable with how you look, that will come across in your energy. i agree with this 100%. and personally, i would rather be with someone who is completely comfortable in who they are than someone who looks fabulous but is insecure and self-conscious. mortensorchid, comments like what your friends made would make me feel pretty crappy too. there's a difference between constructive criticism and criticism, and apparently they thought they were dishing out the former. but your style may be just what some guy out there is attracted to and if that's who you are and how you're comfortable, then it's the real you he'll fall for. i'd also like to add that i was once going through a tom-boyish phase.....i had very short hair and wore mostly t-shirts and and cut off shorts and converse shoes...some makeup and sometimes jewelry. during this time i became friends with a guy who absolutely LOVED this look and had a mad crush on me (i had a bf at the time though). moral of the story: there's someone for everyone.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 I think you should dress however feels right to you. Then you will automatically attract people who are attracted to you for you. Pretending to be something you're not won't last.
Els Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Guys are like that, especially if they see you as one of them. I've a group of guy friends whom I hang out with for several nights a week, mainly for gaming. They're quite merciless. They will jokingly tease me about my guy-ish looks, dressing, actions, etc right in front of me. But.. I really don't care because: 1. I'm not trying to attract any of them.. I'm not interested in them and I'm not interested in having them interested in me. Are you, with any of your guy friends? For me, as long as they treat me like a buddy, I couldn't care less whether they think I'm male, female, or asexual. 2. I'm not even trying to look or act feminine around them, so it'd be pretty silly on my part to expect them to think that of me when I'm doing the exact opposite, on purpose. I'd much rather feel like one of them when I'm with them, than as 'the girl' with whom they need to inhibit all their talk and action when she's around. When they're comfortable enough to be so blunt, I know I've succeeded. If you changed, and did somehow make them think of you as sexy, feminine, etc, do you think they would still treat you as one of them? Would it complicate matters? Would it really be for the better?
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