Kristen Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 Hi everyone, I am a 22 year old woman who has never had a boyfriend. I have gone out with a few guys but never seem to get past the 3 month mark (it is mostly me who backs out - I am happy being single and won't 'settle'). Anyway, I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months - basically we just meet up for drinks and make out, or we hook up at parties or other functions (we socialise within the same group of friends). We haven't slept together yet but that's mostly because he has been living out of state for awhile. Anyway, he moves back in a month and he has made no secret of the fact that he'd like to begin a sexual relationship. I would as well, but I can't seem to get this voice out of my head that tells me I should demand more from him than just sex. We get along really well but I don't see him as boyfriend material - he is older, has a bit of baggage, and has different values and beliefs to me. However, he is so much fun to hang around and the chemistry between us is amazing. Yet I still find myself asking him to call me and feeling resentful when I hear about him with other girls (even though I am often with other guys). What is my problem?? I wish I could just relax and look forward to no-strings-attached sex with a good friend. Perhaps I'm not emotionally mature enough to handle a casual relationship. Any advice??
moimeme Posted August 3, 2003 Posted August 3, 2003 'No-strings-attached sex' is a myth. It is NOT being emotionally mature to behave that way. Rather, it is shallow and superficial. You enjoy his company and don't want to lose that - even before sleeping with him. Having sex will only bond you more tightly to him.
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