gummybear Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 This is an update on this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t158770/ I told him I'm moving on Friday. On Sat we agreed to meet up and talk and also to celebrate my bday. So on Sat, he admitted that after I told him on the phone I'm moving and that I don't want to do an LDR, he cried and cried in bed . And after that he called his best guy friend about it to talk about it. Last night he told me this is the first time he's felt real and strong butterflies with anyone and that basically he is crushed by this. He kept trying to convince me to consider LDR and to see where this goes but I kept saying no over and over again. I do miss him somewhat and I'm sad it has to end but I don't think my feelings for him are strong enough where I even have the desire to have an LRD with him. I have to be firm because I know I have to make the right decision. I know some of you said that I had thought too highly of myself when I was scared of breaking it to him, but look at him now! We only had 3 dates and he freaking cried! I had a feeling he was getting really attached really quick and eventhough it sounds irrational at the time it was my gut feeling and I'm right. I feel a bit sick to my stomach thinking of him crying. It kinda hurts. . I think I have to cut him off after I celebrate his bday with him next week as me seeing him is making it somewhat harder on me too. I know I made the right decision to end it and I don't want to see him more as it might make me have more feelings for him and grow soft or something and change my mind, which would be a really stupid thing for me to do.
woods321 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Why do you constantly post to mock this guy? So break it off already...
Author gummybear Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 Please, do him a favor and pass on the BD thing Well he gave me a gift and paid for dinner and movies last even though I tried hard to fight for the bills. So I feel bad if I don't celebrate his bday. Though I understand it will just prolong the hurt for him...and for me as well.
carhill Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 It's OK to feel bad, as long as it's honest bad. Trust me, the feeling will pass. You're hearing from someone who's seen it both ways, from the male perspective. Let him go.
GPFan Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 All this drama after 3 dates? I think you are lucky to be able to get away. He doesn't sound like he is in a healthy place.
anecdote Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 He sounds like an immature, easily attached person with low self esteem. He sounds like me a few years ago; fortunately for me, I learnt to get over myself and so will he. Cut all contact with this man before he does something stupid.
Author gummybear Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 GP and anecdote, I don't know if he's immature or emotionally unhealthy, but I do know that for ME this is too much drama. When I told him that I'm moving, I just did it as drama-free and as matter of fact as possible, and never did I expect the kind of reaction he gave me. I feel cr*ppy when really I shouldn't. He would bring up the breakup every once in awhile on Sat and I'd tell him that we should stop talking about it and get over it but ofcourse he'd bring it up again even if it's ever so subtley. After we celebrate his bday, I will do no contact. I know it's harsh, but I think it will be best for both of us. I don't need this drama. Part of the reason is that he's never really been dumped before and he said i'm the first girl who he felt chemistry and butterflies for who rejected him (since he was the one who dumped his first 3 gfs). I guess he is not used to handling heartbreak, while for me I am a pro at it sadly haha.
anecdote Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 From what I read, you helped fuel things to this point. Would I be wrong in stating this? You felt no physical attraction to this boy and that is when you should have disclosed your concern and allayed your concerns and gone solely platonic. That's with hindsight. Now, it is obvious this boy has fallen too quickly for you; that's an immediate red flag. Three dates and he is behaving like your long term boyfriend. Major warning sirens should be ringing in your ears. He's emotionally unhinged and immature; I advise you to steer clear. I certainly do not advocate spending his birthday with him. You're effectively giving him false hope by doing so. Your choice.
Author gummybear Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 I certainly do not advocate spending his birthday with him. You're effectively giving him false hope by doing so. Your choice. Yea it was my fault for having him treat me and give me a gift for my bday as I feel now I have to return the favor. We should of just had our closure convo over the phone or over a simple cup of coffee and had it end there. Darn.
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