Mr Biscuits Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Got dumped 3 months ago. Four year relationship. Typical story, the romance faded, we both became unhappy, she left me for someone younger, I'm left devastated. I've tried to do my best. Have gone 7 weeks NC. However, I have to admit that I am still struggling. Every time I get a text message, or have a new email, I wonder if it's her. Still. I spend most of m time at work daydreaming about things and examining where it went wrong. I sometimes picture her with her new boyfriend and it cuts me in half. I think I should be doing better than this after 3 months. We had so many problems, but today, I'd do anything to be able to go back 6 months and tell her how much I love her and put things right. I'm worried that I'm obsessed. Does it sound like it? And when will I feel better? I miss her so much today.
carhill Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 OP, ask yourself this....would you feel any better if you had dumped her, as it sounds like you were both unhappy? See, I think it's like this. She detached long before she dumped you, and moved on emotionally even prior to the "end". She went through what you're going through while within the relative security of the relationship. You, OTOH, are all alone to process this pain. Processing a relationship ending is a cognitive and emotional process. You can accept your feelings and know that they are healthy for you. You can also think your way through the daydreams and anticipations and find a new truth by examining why you still have those feelings. I liken it to shining a new light on a piece of art, allowing one to see the meaning of it in a unique and different way. It's still the same brush strokes on canvas, but the meaning and manifestation of the artists vision can change completely. I've been lucky, having MC during a very difficult time in both my marriage and personal life. MC has helped me a lot with the above. Stick to NC and work on yourself and you will find your truth
Crazy.S Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 It gets better when you give up all hopes. Stop hoping she will come back to you or change her mind. Do not continue on dwelling on the past. Stop thinking about those memories for now. Focus on your future, you are still young. (so am I) And maintain NC and don't count, because remember it doesn't matter, since you are aiming to move on. Not move backwards. Let some time fly and find new hobbies, hang out with friends, flirt with girls. Remember you are single now, do whatever you want, enjoy it. Soon enough you will feel less and less sad. GL edit: actually I don't know if you're young or not, but you get my point. I am 22 btw
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