MonroeVonOh Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Ok , I have been dating a guy in my class for about 5 months now and things are starting to get a little weird for me. It seems like everything I say or do is wrong or if he does something wrong and I call him on it the end result is always him yelling at me for something, again making me the one at fault. But then he can be really sweet and he tells me he loves me . We don't really go out much and if we do he will accuse me of flirting ( even when I haven't left his side only to go use the bathroom) He drinks alot , and I am starting to fall into that as well , but im getting out of it. He actually just lost his license because of speeding and the only reason why he was speeding is because he got pissed that two times in the same bar i got hit on by two different men. He is always calling me and when he does call he tends to ask a million questions " what were you doing " "where are you going" type questions. When asked by a mutal school friend if I wanted to go hang , my boyfriend said " why is he asking my girlfriend to hang out and party , Ill have to talk to him on monday" meanwhile that friend is engaged to be married. He always wants me to spend all my time with him and when I say I want to spend time at home with my family or go out with the little friends I have left , he makes me feel bad for it by sighing or saying that he will really miss me if I go. He is always saying how lucky i am to have him and things like that. When he gets really angry he will call me names and when I call him them back he will again make it seem like everything is my fault and that im the awful partner. I am not perfect but something just isn't right here is it ? e can be really sweet and he makes me laugh so hard sometimes and the way he can touch me makes me feel like he really does love me . So why does he make me feel like im the bad guy and that im always wrong ? He doesnt seem to trust me on anything even when im telling him again and again. I go to school with this person ( i know stupid right) so what do I do if I want to call things off ? I was thinking of just dealing with him till we graduate , but im not so sure i can handle it. I love being with him sometimes but is it worth it ? Is he possesive because he loves me or should i run and never look back ? He is an aqua man and I am a scorpio female. if that has anything to do with anything. Sorry if this is all over the place, im really stressed. Also, I dont feel attractive around him , i mean , he doesnt make me feel attractive and when I tell him that , he tells me i am very sexy - thing is , is now i don't know if he does and says the things he does to keep me with him , to humour me or what . im lost and confused if you couldnt tell. any advice ? help ?
chatfouz Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 that sounds scary. i don't know your boy so he may be different. but this sounds like my gf's ex. and he was not a good person. everyone yells from time to time but there is no reason for it to be a common experience. That sounds abusive. He sounds like he thinks of you as a posession. He cares about his posession as he would a nice car. he may even love you, but if he is calling constantly to check your condition and wherabouts then he obviously doesnt trust you. If other guys hit on you he has a right to be defensive but it sounds he gets carried away. i have never been in such a situation. but as a boy, i have no reason to call my gf all the time to check in. i ask what she is doing but it is because i am curious about her day, but it does not matter what she does, it is her life. i have no right to tell her what she can and can not do. Your boy sounds a bit scary and possibly abusive. but again i do not know your boy or situation well as i have never been in such a relationship. but my opinion is just from what it sounds like.
Gemini0525 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Run... NOW... and don't look back! I don't mean to sound so negative but it's NOT going to get better. You've only been together for 5 months and it's already this bad?! Imagine what it will be like in 5 years. You're going to be on lock-down, hon. He doesn't even want you to spend time with your family. Not a healthy relationship at all. Technically, it's emotional abuse. There's a pattern... blow up at you for no good reason, then apologize and build you up... repeat; isolate you from friends and family; make you feel unattractive, as though no one else would want you, etc. There are sooooooooooooooooooo many options for you out there. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you won't find someone else. You WILL and it will be better. And to answer your question: NO, it's NOT worth it!! Don't waste another minute. Good luck!!
VenusInFurs Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 MonroeVonOh... My God, what you wrote is... you could have been describing MY boyfriend. EXACTLY. I've been with him for 11 months now. His sweet, funny side is why I'm still with him. You know what, I can't think of any advice for you! Just to say I'm in the same boat. This post sort of 'woke me up' to reality, if you will, because I think since I've been with him for so long, I've been brainwashed or just adapted to his possesive, controlling, etc etc behaviour. Needless to say, I'm not 100% happy in the relationship.
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