reallydpressed Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Hello all, Please bare with me here as there is a lot of information I'm going to give so hopefully someone can add it all up better than I am currently able to. I have been with my girlfriend for 9 years, now your probably saying to yourself, "why hasn't this guy married this girl?", the reason for this is because we first started seeing each other monogamously at the age of 15 and we are both now 24. We have always had a great relationship, never any major problems this entire time, we have experienced so many things together its hard to even put it all together. All of a sudden about a week ago I had this very strange feeling all the time that something wasn't right at all with her. Then on last Saturday she wasn't sure if I was the one she wanted to be with all of a sudden. Out of pure coincidence she left for about a week just a few days ago to see family. She said while she was away she wanted to think it over if I was the one she wanted to stay with. She cheated on me about a week ago, and I found out on this past Monday. I immediately confronted her with the question of why she has been seeing another guy and she denied it and acted like nothing at all was wrong. The next morning she basically said "I can't believe what I have done, what kind of person am I?" I swallowed my pride and asked her if she wanted to talk about in person right now. She said to come on over to her house. So I went over to her house and this was her story: "there was a guy I knew casually who would come into my work to buy lunch, who I ended up seeing at at a bar and I went home with him." She admitted to sleeping with him once and only once. Ever since I found out Monday she cheated I know for sure she hasn't seen the guy. I told her that if there was any chance of us salvaging our relationship she could never see the guy again at all and she hasn't since. On Thursday she left town for about a week, and while she is gone she is claiming still she needs to think us over to give her some time. She is still talking to me on a friendly basis and seems like her genuine self before I had these feelings that came true of her cheating. I'm not sure if I should try to push her to find out if she wants to stay with me or not, or if I should just keep talking to her normally and not talking with her about us till she gets back like she requested. This is the most difficult time I have ever had in my entire life, this was not a ball-n-chain girl, she was a genuine love for an extremely long time and I want to work things out with her as I'm not ready to throw away our relationship. I need any advice anyone can give me, thanks.
Lonelystar Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I am so sorry you have to go through this. I know it must be very painful, and you must have a million things running inside your head. I think you need to take some time to think things over before deciding what to do. I know you want to salvage your relationship, and you possibly could, but take some time to think things through with a clear head. Sometimes our judgments are clouded by your emotions, and that could possibly be preventing you from making the right decision for yourself. You could both possibly fix the realtionship, but take time and work through the issues. I wish I could give better advice, but that is my take on things. Again, I am sorry for your pain and I hope you feel better.
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