foxh1234 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Hi everyone, I am getting ready to go out with friends tonight and I had a very sad thought about my ex GF. No one on this earth knows me as well as she does and she is now becoming a complete stranger to me. Within the next 6 months or so she will probably be out of my thoughts and me out of hers. Our lives will go in different directions and we will not know anything about each others lives. Even after all she has done to me, this thought makes me very sad. I wish things had ended differently so that we could have remained in each others lives in some capacity. I never thought for one minute that she would be out of my life like this. It is the worst part of this whole mess. Just a thought I had today, it will pass and I will be OK. Wish me luck trying to meet some nice young ladies tonight.
kizik Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 She didn't know you as well as you thought she did. Sure, better than most, but what does that even mean? She shared your bed and your conversation and very intimate moments with you. It took years to build. But when we truly know people, we know how to treat them. We don't cheat on them and leave them. When we truly know someone, we know what will hurt them and we avoid doing things that hurt them. I know what you're trying to say Fox, but just because she knew you better than most doesn't mean she knew you enough, or cared to.
replicator Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I feel exactly the same way Fox. My ex and I both knew each of our weaknesses, and the skeletons in our closets. Even without talking to her, I knew what was on her mind, and vice versa. It is painful to cut those ties. I initially wanted friendship, but I love her too much for a platonic relationship. Perhaps with time... All you can say is - good luck tonight Someday, both you and I will meet someone who we can share the same closeness, and perhaps more.
borelandkaren Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Hi everyone, I am getting ready to go out with friends tonight and I had a very sad thought about my ex GF. No one on this earth knows me as well as she does and she is now becoming a complete stranger to me. Within the next 6 months or so she will probably be out of my thoughts and me out of hers. Our lives will go in different directions and we will not know anything about each others lives. Even after all she has done to me, this thought makes me very sad. I wish things had ended differently so that we could have remained in each others lives in some capacity. I never thought for one minute that she would be out of my life like this. It is the worst part of this whole mess. Just a thought I had today, it will pass and I will be OK. Wish me luck trying to meet some nice young ladies tonight. I had the same sort of thoughts the other day and got a bit down. But you know what, "THE ONE" DOES NOT EXIST! This is a myth perpetrated on us by media and Mills and Boons. We move in too many different directions in our lives to have someone in it from 17-97. The people we meet when we are young, friends and foe alike, how many of these people are still in our lives now. I have moved between 17-42 on several occasions, had a couple of different relationships and I don't believe that the people we were then are who we are now. The fundamentals are still there but the person we are now is very different and should be. So the person who was our "soul mate" and best friend has gone by the wayside, just as others in our life do. No different. Sad but no different. I havent't spoken to Tony in 4 months and I know that he hasn't changed. Being who he is, I know this. We are meant to grow and evolve. And I know now that the next person that I "allow" to be in my life will be more indicative of who I've become at that point, not who I was. Go out, Fox, have a great time and meet the young lady who will take up another piece of your life but possibly not all. Don't close your eyes to ANY possibility. My new motto is "I say yes to everything." Might get me in trouble but at least I'll have fun!!!!
ioncebelieved Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Fox, how true!!!! Before I met the current ex, I was sitting around at work one day bullcrapping with coworkers and I asked a question about what would you rather have: A new girl each year for the rest of your life or have just one you stay with as long as you live? I bring it up because of the stranger that you once knew. My answer a few years ago was give me one each year. That was before I met my soon to be stranger ex. I now have changed my mind and this women made me find myself in a sense and with her I found new ways to love. I just hope she was sent my way to prepare for the REAL love of my life. As of now she is still it even though things are messed slap up!!!
Author foxh1234 Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 I understand where everyone is coming from on this. I just hate to lose someone who at one time was so very special to me. I have been very fortunate in my life not to have lost many people close to me and losing her because of her selfishness and cheating is a crappy way to end things. I obviously wish we could have parted ways and still be able to talk and see each other. Oh well, that's life I guess. Also, no luck with the ladies last night. Had a great time out but no one caught my eye.
Peter_pan Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 yeah i know what you mean fox, i suppose it is a shame. its hard because you lose your best friend and girlfriend at the same time dont worry about last night, at least you enjoyed it (and avoided women's mind games)
LikeCharlotte Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I've felt the same way you do fox and I don't think others are responsible for my feelings. Yet I think you take on a certain amount of responsibility for someone else's feelings when you are in any relationship. If not for the commitment to support someone else's emotional wellfare there wouldn't be marriage, vows... or in most cases a reason for heartbreak. Do you follow? With that in mind revisit what kizik said. She didn't know you as well as you thought she did. Sure, better than most, but what does that even mean? She shared your bed and your conversation and very intimate moments with you. It took years to build. But when we truly know people, we know how to treat them. We don't cheat on them and leave them. When we truly know someone, we know what will hurt them and we avoid doing things that hurt them. I know what you're trying to say Fox, but just because she knew you better than most doesn't mean she knew you enough, or cared to.Theres nothing wrong with missing someone but don't let yourself idealize it because its is gone. - hugs
Author foxh1234 Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 I've felt the same way you do fox and I don't think others are responsible for my feelings. Yet I think you take on a certain amount of responsibility for someone else's feelings when you are in any relationship. If not for the commitment to support someone else's emotional wellfare there wouldn't be marriage, vows... or in most cases a reason for heartbreak. Do you follow? With that in mind revisit what kizik said. Theres nothing wrong with missing someone but don't let yourself idealize it because its is gone. - hugs Thanks LC, I know what you two are saying. I know we are done and I do not want her in my life. It still sucks how things turn out though.
kyta Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Thanks LC, I know what you two are saying. I know we are done and I do not want her in my life. It still sucks how things turn out though. It only sucks if you want to belive its sucks, things turn out the way they do and there is nothing we can do about it, dont look at it as a bad thing look at it as an experience learned, its just a process we go through in are minds, some procees quickly some slowly, but when we have gone htrough it if we look we can see why we had to go through it, life will go on for all of us, and it is only us that can change the way we feel, i dont like pain, but when i hurt i feell it, i open up to it, i touch it and embrace it, i have tried to run from it and all it does is follow me and hurts me more, by embracing it i find it doesnt last as long, i am about 2 2 and a half months maybe more maybe less now (i dont keep count no point) an i dont feel the pain for her or us anymore, im actully feel happy most of the time, and the times i feel down now are not for us or her but for me, i still need to work on me and thats the issues i have to deal with, the R well long gone, she gave me the biggest gift anyone person can give (she could of done it diffrently but doesnt matter now) and that is my FREEDOM, if i had took my freedom then i would feel guilt and alot of diffrent emotions, but she gave my life to me, and for that i thank her, and she is paying the price for it, i have a new road to walk down not a road i have to fear anymore, but one i am looking forward to, one i want to walk down, a new life for me new experiences, if i was still with her then i would have to walk the old road still and that lead to noware. I think i got lost there sry but ill still post it.
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