PAL06 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 I have been dating a girl for four months and everything was going very very well. We had spent every night together for the last three months and she had told me many times how much she loved me and written the most amazing lovely cards. We had also talked about the future a lot and had even booked a trip to New Zealand in January 2009. A few weeks back we had a very difficult week, where we were both pretty stressed at work. I was also getting pretty stressed as my financial situation is not brilliant and we have been talking about plans for the future, such as travelling or moving in permenently. I own my home, but she only rents and we live and work about 40 miles apart. I had been staying at hers most of the time and commuting to work. We had talkied about her moving in to mine, but I am not sure she was ever convinced she wanted to move so far from work and where she lives is nicer. Last week we went away together to Italy, our first holiday together, she was a bit distant. Anyway the day we goy back she said she just needed some space to think where we were going, then after a week alone she had decided that she felt things were not the same and said she wanted out. I am angry with her because I do not see how we can talk abou future plans and she can say the things she did about loving me and then dump me without the decency to talk things through and try to see if the issues can be resolved. She has said she doesn't know what is wrong and that is just confusing me. I just don't know what to do, I love her and she knows that and I know there are still some feelings on her side. I am totally at sea and need advice?
KamKakes Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 IMO, 4 months is a really short time to decide that you love someone. I don't think that that is adequate time to get to know someone and to even think about planning a future together. You're still in the very early stages of your relationship and I personally think she is scared because things are moving so fast.You need to slow down and give her the space she is asking for, you both are swept up in your emotions. Think about it from her perspective, she's met a great guy who has equally expressed his feelings for her and while she does care about you - she might not be ready for all the serious stuff. Would you think about rearranging your life to move in with someone who was just a friend that you've only known for 4 months? Give it time and take the moment to reassess if this is what you really want, all feelings aside.
Author PAL06 Posted July 19, 2008 Author Posted July 19, 2008 I would totally agree with you, but it has been her that has talked about the moving in etc more than me..... if anything I have felt a bit pressured by that, but we were always so comfortable in each others company that it has just ended up that I was at hers every night. Especially initially it was her that was expressing the love... and its just not a teen thing as we are both in our 30's and I am definetetly the less mature when it comes to relationships. Although, another thing I have found hard is that although she is generally a very confident person, she is very insecure when it came to thinking I may even look at another girl, which is totally against my character anyway
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