justliketv Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 how do you resist the facebook stalking? i'm doing non contact in all other ways (not that he cares/probably has even noticed) but i can't give up the facebook stalking and it's just not good for me..he's flirting with girls on there, or i just look through all photos of him and it just makes me feel ****. i'm completley scared one day i'll look and it'll say "in relationship"....when i check and it still says 'single' i feel really relieved. i want to keep using facebook for other things and i can't delete him cos we were "friends" before we started seeing each other and i don't want him to think i'm being petty/that i'm not over it yet. i know it's something i have to stop but the thought of not actually being able to look at his profile scares me a bit. how sad i think it's stopping me moving on quite a bit but i don't have the will power to actually stop. *sigh* it's like a morbid fasination! i'd still take him back in a second if he asked but i just keep having to tell myself that he obviously doesn't want me. i used to do this with an old guy i was seeing,but now i've completly lost the desire to look/care what he's up to but this ex meant so much more to me than him anyone else having the facebook-ex-stalking-addiction-problem!? xx
sugarlump Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Hey. Yeah guilty as charge on the Facebook stalking front. At the moment I'm explaining it away as my guilty pleasure - as I'm assuming he'll never actually find out I'm doing it. I'm hoping as time passes my need to look at his profile will dwindle. I'm also finding myself posting pictures and updates on my profile, to prove I'm not pining after him and to demonstrate I'm moving on. I'm trying to make him jealous, to see his mistake. I don't think it's healthy. I know I should stop, closed down the account or delete his friendship and focus on real life - or trying to get myself one!?! But yeah, easier said than done. You're not alone. {{{hugs}}}
Author justliketv Posted July 19, 2008 Author Posted July 19, 2008 hahaha.it's good to know someone feels the same way i did something really tragic the other day...i was facebooking stalking on my phone and couldn't really work out how to do it..i ended up typing his name into the status box not the search box, so until i got home from work my status was his name! aaaahh. i hope to god he did not see it! that kind of made me realise that maybe i need to stop with the stalking hahahaa. i do the posting stuff so they see it as well! i keep making sure i have 'hot' profile pictures as well! *sigh* *hugs back* xx
iwish Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 I'm guilty of it too. It's a horrible way to find out how their lives are going and only paints a picture of how great they are doing without you. I looked at my ex's yesterday and can see what she is up to this weekend. She's doing something today that might not enable her to go to a friends birthday party tonight. Then you start to wonder, what is she doing today, that's so important?!!!! Is it a guy? is she going out for the day (like we used to) is she going to see the family etc... It's none of my business and it only me to look. Just keep of facebook. As the OP said, it's evil!!
sultry33 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 im guilty too.. i cant see his facebook one as he deleted me off his friends.. but i did get upset with other girls who are flirting with him an him back.. one was covered in tatoos an peicings and prev i told him i didnt like her an he agreed but now his taste has obv changed:eek: i do check in on him on forums an stuff but i do care about him so in a way im justifying it with that.. besides he dont know so its not going hurt him or boost his ego.. im sure he checks up on me too and thats ok. when we feel the time is right or you meet someone else we wont bother looking so dont stress it. but be prepared that one day they may be with another.. that will hurt if your not over them. maybe we should all join each others fb.. myspace an flirt with each other lol that wind em up:laugh:
Lishy Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 OMG That i a brill idea!!!!!!! Everyone add friends and send crytic messages I love winding people up with my facebook, it is such funnnnnnnn lol Where in England are you Sultry?
sultry33 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 OMG That i a brill idea!!!!!!! Everyone add friends and send crytic messages I love winding people up with my facebook, it is such funnnnnnnn lol me too lol Where in England are you Sultry? hi lishy im from southeast kent not far from london.. you? heres mine if anyone wants to add me.. http://www.myspace.com/sultry33 face book is JULIE CARTEL or msn [email protected] lets get it on lol sorry if im not allowed to put links in x
sugarlump Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 I like the idea of friending each other, a mini support network.
wareagle Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Look it's as simple as this!! Delete facebook, myspace, delete everything that will tempt you into checking up and stalking him!!!! You will not be able to fully heal until you do!! He is no longer yours and you are no longer his, done deal, there is no need to keep tabs on him! Trust me on this you will never heal completely stalking him!!!!
ald1008 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I do that too! I thought I was weird for doing it! Guess I'm not the only one, though! I check his profile A LOT and I feel guilty going it. We're apart, but still close friends. He started talking to a girl I don't like (he knows it) and it got me into a little argument a while back. But its done and over and now I don't know... *sigh* Guys are confusing.
heartoutside Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 You can actually block people on facebook. I deleted and then blocked my ex because we had so many friends in common. When you block them....you never, ever see anything that is related to that person. Meaning if one of your common friends posts a pic or a comment of your ex and themselves, you'll never see that picture or comment or find out about it...myspace on the other hand is a whole nother basket...I haven't logged on to that in months!
orangehose Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I highly recommend blocking. It's a nice feeling to know that he can't check on you, and you can't check on him (well, you can always unblock, but somehow the extra work of doing that keeps you from going ahead with an impulsive check. It's like putting the cookie jar on top of the fridge).
Byren Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Yeah, 3 months on I still find myself checking her facebook... The worst thing for me was finding out that she'd blocked certain things from me (even when we were still dating, which confused and hurt me...). When looking over a mutual friend's shoulder after our break-up I saw his home page which told me she was single (god that hurt) but my facebook said NOTHING (that hurt even more..). It's crap; I actually can't use the internet anymore without fear that I'll visit her page. I'll actually DECLINE offers of using a pc to check my emails because I think I won't be able to help myself. Urgh, pathetic.
justaman99 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 I jumped over to her profile a few days after the break up to have one last look before I deleted her as a friend. This was in early Feb and I saw some messages between her and some dude at 1am. I knew at this point there was another guy. This guy even posted to her sister's page while we were still together a "Happy Birthday". Her sister probably set him up with her as she did me. That was the last time I looked. I deleted her as a friend and never looked again. That hurt me more than anything in the world so yes Facebook is evil but it told me something that my gut was telling me already. That she so easily threw me away, never really cared about me, and always needs a man in her life because of her insecurity. She'll continue to roll from one relationship to another never addressing why they fail. Her loss. I treated her well, better than anyone before her, she didn't treat me well at all and odds are this guy didn't work out already. Thanks Facebook, -Just
mousse Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 I jumped over to her profile a few days after the break up to have one last look before I deleted her as a friend. This was in early Feb and I saw some messages between her and some dude at 1am. I knew at this point there was another guy. This guy even posted to her sister's page while we were still together a "Happy Birthday". Her sister probably set him up with her as she did me. That was the last time I looked. I deleted her as a friend and never looked again. That hurt me more than anything in the world so yes Facebook is evil but it told me something that my gut was telling me already. That she so easily threw me away, never really cared about me, and always needs a man in her life because of her insecurity. She'll continue to roll from one relationship to another never addressing why they fail. Her loss. I treated her well, better than anyone before her, she didn't treat me well at all and odds are this guy didn't work out already. Thanks Facebook, -Just Well said
Author justliketv Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 lol! i do this as well! if a friend is like 'do you want to check yours?' im like 'nahhh' not going to ruin time with friends stalking him as well as my free time! xx
sultry33 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 lol! i do this as well! if a friend is like 'do you want to check yours?' im like 'nahhh' not going to ruin time with friends stalking him as well as my free time! xx that is kinda funny but not also:bunny: well my ex went on my account an deleted all my friends.. not just the ones we both had met.. but ones i knew through my online work.. he left himself, my son and one female friend.. nice huh.. well its been fun getting new ones most are guys too
bfla Posted July 25, 2008 Posted July 25, 2008 For us computer nerds, it's even harder not to facebook stalk when you know they are looking at yours. (well, not facebook, but I can see who views my myspace, and the ex still is. Very often, too. Even though she's got her rebound man already. Makes me start wondering every time she does it... ugh)
sigh123 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 one word: BLOCK. i had the problem too, deleting him was useless because he sent me 2 friend request afterwards...stupid. I couldn't see his profile anyhow because it was on friends lock but thats the point. He could see mine however, because I made it that way...and in a way, I, sadly, wanted him to look at my profile and miss me. Until finally, I blocked him once and for all. Now he can't see me, and I can't see him. Blocking is wonderful because ANYTHING with his name on it, including ANY pictures with him in it, vanishes. Obviously you can unblock but.....still, for the time being, its nice to not see things that remind me of him, or know the possibility of logging onto Facebook with a msg or frd request from him agian. Its impossible now.
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