Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 22, 2008 Author Posted July 22, 2008 Means nothing. I train my arse off at the gym, know heaps of attractive muscular guys and they’re all insecure at times with girls, me included. In fact one of the drivers behind many guys training hard is inherent insecurity. I’m not trying to run this insecurity trait into the ground or anything, just noting that attractive, gym fit guys are prone to it and that may be what you’re seeing here. And I’m offering it as a contrast to those who will simply dismiss him as a wanker because he’s got shredded abs and talks himself up regarding other women. Thanks for the heads up.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 xpapercutz, players don't talk themselves up about women. If anything, they try to mitigate past reputations, so women get suckered in. Yeah, that's what i assume as well. So you're saying he's not a player, or is he? That would annoy me as well. The more you talk, the more he seems very insecure, X. It really continues to depend on whether you want to work through this for a bit, and see if he settles down. Well the date is this saturday, and he's repeatedly asked me whether I was going to cancel or not. It's getting on my nerve that he keeps asking, and I had to repeatedly tell him I'm not. Which I think that by this time, I'm practically lying to myself, because I really want to cancel. I'm trying to make this work Jilly, I'm trying not to sabotage my dates. But I'm afraid that when we do get together, he starts talking about himself and getting into self centered mode. Any chance of stopping that?
Star Gazer Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 But I'm afraid that when we do get together, he starts talking about himself and getting into self centered mode. Any chance of stopping that? Nope, no chance of stopping that if that's his nature. But why are you afraid? If he's a narcissist, you can easily walk. No harm to you.
Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 I'm trying to make this work Jilly, I'm trying not to sabotage my dates. But I'm afraid that when we do get together, he starts talking about himself and getting into self centered mode. Any chance of stopping that? And I'm proud of you for that! And yes, I think you CAN stop him from talking about himself. Try to gear the conversation to topics that are more world-focused or general in nature. Like, ask him his views on metaphysics, or did he think a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs -that kind of thing. Generic topics that he can't turn around to himself. Or, tell him a story about yourself, or talk about places you'd like to travel. You can keep him on track! The more you write about him, the more I think his talking about himself is related to his insecurity. Someone else said that even hot guys are insecure, and that is ENTIRELY true.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 I think I sabotaged it.... The situation is that I'm in a ****ty mood, and he comes online to talk to me. He starts questioning me what I was going to do for the day, and how I was, which I responded with myself being sick. His only response was " whatever, I don't care". At this point I'm trying to hold on writing something in anger, and he goes to ask me whether I was excited for Saturday. My response was a nonchalant, " I guess so" and he says "what kind of answer is that?" I wrote back "what kind of question was that?" and he goes on to calling me rude, and signs off on me. I'm now officially datefree on Saturday, and I really don't give a damn about it.
Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 I think I sabotaged it.... The situation is that I'm in a ****ty mood, and he comes online to talk to me. He starts questioning me what I was going to do for the day, and how I was, which I responded with myself being sick. His only response was " whatever, I don't care". At this point I'm trying to hold on writing something in anger, and he goes to ask me whether I was excited for Saturday. My response was a nonchalant, " I guess so" and he says "what kind of answer is that?" I wrote back "what kind of question was that?" and he goes on to calling me rude, and signs off on me. I'm now officially datefree on Saturday, and I really don't give a damn about it. Ugh. Well, what I still continue to see is his insecurities rearing, X. I think this can be salvaged, if you want to. Write him and apologize for the exchange. Tell him you are feeling crappy from your cold, and just took everything the wrong way and are generally feeling lousy. Tell him you are still interested in meeting on SAT.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 Ugh. Well, what I still continue to see is his insecurities rearing, X. I think this can be salvaged, if you want to. Write him and apologize for the exchange. Tell him you are feeling crappy from your cold, and just took everything the wrong way and are generally feeling lousy. Tell him you are still interested in meeting on SAT. Jilly I don't see why I should apologize. I've already told him I hadn't been feeling well the last few days. Instead of telling me to feel better at least, he turned the question on to him and how he hasn't been sleeping well because he's been out partying with his friends at night. I don't think I've ever met anyone like him.
Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Jilly I don't see why I should apologize. I've already told him I hadn't been feeling well the last few days. Instead of telling me to feel better at least, he turned the question on to him and how he hasn't been sleeping well because he's been out partying with his friends at night. I don't think I've ever met anyone like him. Yeah, but that's kind of a guy thing. They don't seem to pick up on when we need sympathy for being sick. I have also gotten tweaked at guys for not being sensitive to this. But, it's just how they work, for the most part... No, you don't have to apologize. You can dig in your heels and insist you're right. OR, you can make the gesture to repair what amounts to a silly disagreement. Ah, choices...
atc2410 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Well I'm just home from the gym, good workout, no insecurity felt beyond a couple who always seem to notice me and whisper... maybe I'm paranoid but it's still uncomfortable. Meanwhile this... The situation is that I'm in a ****ty mood, and he comes online to talk to me. He starts questioning me what I was going to do for the day, and how I was, which I responded with myself being sick. His only response was " whatever, I don't care". is retarded. Just to confirm, he asks how you were, you replied you were feeling sick and he responds with 'whatever I don't care'. I know I've seemingly stuck up for this guy through perceiving insecurity but again if that was the conversation then his response is terrible. That's pure self-centredness on his part, that is rather than take at face value you weren't feeling well to which his reflex should've been concern for you, he interpreted what you said as a rebuke against him thus his reaction. It's a likely extension of a version of insecurity however as mentioned I'm insecure at times but it would never manifest itself like that. I don't like him anymore.
sid3 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Yep, he's definitely a tool x. Consider yourself lucky that you fond out now rather than six months later. Hope your feeling better:D
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Hahaha.. I don't like him anymore either... I thought he would've been more sympathetic towards my situation, but he hardly flinched when it came to me getting the flu. Anyways I'm feeling terrible, and the worst part is that he didn't even bothered to call. He left me a text message telling me to give him a heads up if I was going to cancel so he could make other plans. I've never met anyone so self-centered before... Boy am I glad I did cancel. shows me to be more judgmental of the persons I make play dates with... back to bed for me now.
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