DunnoWhat Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 The advice given pretty much mimicks what I've already done...and what other people I have known to do, some have written emails to women, some better sounding than even mine. You're ignoring all the advice except the advice you want to hear.
Shygirl15 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 The advice given pretty much mimicks what I've already done...and what other people I have known to do, some have written emails to women, some better sounding than even mine. Only to get a "delete" so really. I mean, why do I see SO many men complain about their "turn around" rate in replies from women. I think I've gotten perhaps at the most 3 dates in ONE year...from online dating. I attribute to more physical attraction, because, I had women tell me they weren't physically attracted...and there must be that "chemistry". Believe me, about 90% of ignored emails are probably from men who didn't find their pictures or they were too short or something. Alot of women I have met here have strict height criterias and other such unrealistic expetations. I have done my share of exceptional emails, but only to still not impress anyone. But I bet if I posted those too, you'd find SOMETHING wrong with it, I know you will. I personally liked his his email. He did all the basics; mentioned something that showed he read the profile, some little compliments, no typos or poor grammar, not soo long, not too short. It was a perfect 1st email. I think maybe it's your looks.
Shygirl15 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Oh, and that profile of the lady you sent email to, sounds kinda bitter. I mean what's up with mentioning she has been though dissapointing experiences and all that stuff in a profile? Who hasn't? What's up with the "please don't try to be someone else for my sake", what makes her think anyone will try and be someone else for her sake. That should have been a red flag, OP.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Being a female, I think you have hit the nail on the head. I have NEVER dated online, but I agree with many of your points. 1. Being "chronically single" isn't bad because it is NOT about quantity, but quality. I would rather make great friends and hang out with the people close to me until I meet the right person than just dating for the sake of dating. I have many female friends who get into relationship after relationship where they were unhappy and just afraid of being on their own. Make your life full and enjoy it and when the right person comes along, they will recognize this in you and you will be at a happy place where you can appreciate them. 2. If a guy makes me laugh, I'm intrigued! Flirtatious quips usually yield great responses. Again, I don't do online dating, but I have many female friends who do, and they all love the funny messages. Something about making a woman laugh and keeping things light hearted at first serves as such an aphrodisiac! Anyway, you have thrown some great pointers out there that as a woman, I can see how they would be helpful! They don't want sincere sweet emails... They want funny humorous eye catching emails... Of all the emails I would send out the most successful ones were the ones that I let my humorous side show thru in the emails.. I would sometimes pick something out of their profile and make it into something like a quip or something that made them chuckle.. If they Chuckle.. they hit reply.. Simple..
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 I personally liked his his email. He did all the basics; mentioned something that showed he read the profile, some little compliments, no typos or poor grammar, not soo long, not too short. It was a perfect 1st email. I think maybe it's your looks. Right, actually, in the past I made the mistake of making them a bit too long, thus shortened them through time. Keeping it basic, because....well, the person you're emailing to is really a total stranger....best to keep it simple. As far as the looks dept. you hit the nail on the head there...and that is more likely than anything else. Some people don't even bother to read the email at all....just take a glance at the photo, if they don't like what they see, why bother even reading, .....am I right? Some food for thought there. Simple. I'm suprised this whole looks department wasn't addressed by others here earlier. If one to meet a woman in real life...she'd be more of a "captured audience" so to speak....she'd be , in a sense, forced to listen to how charming you really are...combined with looks and personality.
Shygirl15 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Being a female, I think you have hit the nail on the head. I have NEVER dated online, but I agree with many of your points. 1. Being "chronically single" isn't bad because it is NOT about quantity, but quality. I would rather make great friends and hang out with the people close to me until I meet the right person than just dating for the sake of dating. I have many female friends who get into relationship after relationship where they were unhappy and just afraid of being on their own. Make your life full and enjoy it and when the right person comes along, they will recognize this in you and you will be at a happy place where you can appreciate them. 2. If a guy makes me laugh, I'm intrigued! Flirtatious quips usually yield great responses. Again, I don't do online dating, but I have many female friends who do, and they all love the funny messages. Something about making a woman laugh and keeping things light hearted at first serves as such an aphrodisiac! Anyway, you have thrown some great pointers out there that as a woman, I can see how they would be helpful! Some little bits of humor on the first email is fine, however some overdo it and it becomes annoying. It's like they're trying too hard. Actually, I don't think it's necessary at all to throw any humor on the 1st email, considering you don't even know the person you're writing to. I think a soft language can do just fine.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 Some little bits of humor on the first email is fine, however some overdo it and it becomes annoying. It's like they're trying too hard. Actually, I don't think it's necessary at all to throw any humor on the 1st email, considering you don't even know the person you're writing to. I think a soft language can do just fine. Right...after all it is indeed just an "initial inquiry" at best.
Star Gazer Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Well, no offense Hi, but you seem to think you are such a great catch, yet everyone is passing you by online. So, either you are not the great catch you think you are, OR, your profile is not conveying this. OLD is indeed a numbers game, but if you are failing so miserably, it's either you, your profile, or your approach. You hit the nail on the head. The only common denominator is HiItsMe. The problem is clearly NOT with the women.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 You hit the nail on the head. The only common denominator is HiItsMe. The problem is clearly NOT with the women. Um...no...chances are they weren't physically attracted...posted that earlier. Has nothing to do with the approach or attitude....if a woman doesn't find the man physically appealing in his photo ...or...isn't 6 feet tall or he doesn't have a full head of hair...or whatever...or some GQ HUNK......more than likely she will even IGNORE the email completely....so in that case, she wont' even have read the email to see what "my approach" was all about. I'm rather suprised that no one here , cept one person mentioned this.
DunnoWhat Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Um...no...chances are they weren't physically attracted...posted that earlier. Has nothing to do with the approach or attitude....if a woman doesn't find the man physically appealing in his photo ...or...isn't 6 feet tall or he doesn't have a full head of hair...or whatever...or some GQ HUNK......more than likely she will even IGNORE the email completely....so in that case, she wont' even have read the email to see what "my approach" was all about. I'm rather suprised that no one here , cept one person mentioned this. Women are attracted to healthy men who look after themselves. They have their ideals like you and I but good looks alone won't sustain a relationship. Men are more concerned about looks than women. Realistically despite having an ideal looking partner in mind people know that if somebody makes them happy then thats all that really matters isn't it e.g. thats why women like men who make them laugh.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 Women are attracted to healthy men who look after themselves. They have their ideals like you and I but good looks alone won't sustain a relationship. Right...now we just need to tell the ladies that delete any email simply by looking at a photo they don't like that. And how are you going to make them laugh, if they don't even read the email? Or, if they DO read the email....they kinda go "heh" and go, "ew" when they see the picture....and hit "Delete".
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 I have had women...though few and far between....respond to an email of mine...complimenting me on the email...but a "thanks for the email....but...I don't think we're a good match, good luck in your search." But hey, at least I got a response...but translated, "Nice email...but I dont find you physically attractive whatsoever."
DunnoWhat Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I have had women...though few and far between....respond to an email of mine...complimenting me on the email...but a "thanks for the email....but...I don't think we're a good match, good luck in your search." But hey, at least I got a response...but translated, "Nice email...but I dont find you physically attractive whatsoever." Of course! You'd make a great friend because you're a nice guy but nice guy don't attract women..
Shygirl15 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 It all depends. My responses are not based on looks or nice email only. It has to be a combination of both. Several times I have ignored excellent emails because I didn't find them physically attractive. On the other hand, I would NOT ignore an email from unattractive guy who is a successful lawyer, or any other good career. So, OP, if there's any aspect of your life that you think can wow these ladies, you can mention that in your 1st email, just to cover the less attractive areas of yourself. Making them laugh is really not important this stage. Infact if they don't find you attractive all your jokes will sound silly and stupid, so don't even try.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 Of course! You'd make a great friend because you're a nice guy but nice guy don't attract women.. Depends on the woman. It attracts some, but this doesn't apply to ALL women. Nice guys make the best relationship material or even husbands for that matter. Women who avoid nice guys typically have issues or relationship problems. Infact if they don't find you attractive all your jokes will sound silly and stupid, so don't even try. LOL..exactly.... I knew of women who thought some hot guy was attractive, because he did something an immature 5 year old would do, and she'd giggle like a school girl. If some unattractive guy did it, it would be considered annoying to her or even rude.
Shygirl15 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Of course! You'd make a great friend because you're a nice guy but nice guy don't attract women.. Oh yes, we do get attracted to nice guys, FYI. I'm currently in love with Mr. Nice Guy, who has less than average looks. Bad Boy type is old news, my friend.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 Oh yes, we do get attracted to nice guys, FYI. I'm currently in love with Mr. Nice Guy, who has less than average looks. Bad Boy type is old news, my friend. See, shygirl (though she's involved with someone) would probably be more compatible with me than the women I'm emailing, unfortunately they are few and far between. This is indicitative to a woman with a good head on her shoulders.
DunnoWhat Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Oh yes, we do get attracted to nice guys, FYI. I'm currently in love with Mr. Nice Guy, who has less than average looks. Bad Boy type is old news, my friend. It's not as simple as having 2 groups, 1 bad , 1 good. I'm speaking generally. By nice guy I mean the typical low self esteem man who tries to be too nice to women. You can be a nice guy and still have qualities that attract women. generally though most women prefer (typical) bad boys than (typical) nice guys.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 It's not as simple as having 2 groups, 1 bad , 1 good. I'm speaking generally. By nice guy I mean the typical low self esteem man who tries to be too nice to women. You can be a nice guy and still have qualities that attract women. generally though most women prefer (typical) bad boys than (typical) nice guys. Can't say that I'm too nice, never claimed to be a door mat actually. If women give me crap, I let them know my disapproval. I know my limits and moderation is the key here.
DunnoWhat Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I personally liked his his email. He did all the basics; mentioned something that showed he read the profile, some little compliments, no typos or poor grammar, not soo long, not too short. It was a perfect 1st email. I think maybe it's your looks. Here you're talking about the OP's email... you might like it but most women wouldn't think much of it and I bet if you had this and a dozen similar emails it wouldn't be so great..
Star Gazer Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Um...no...chances are they weren't physically attracted...posted that earlier. Has nothing to do with the approach or attitude....if a woman doesn't find the man physically appealing in his photo ...or...isn't 6 feet tall or he doesn't have a full head of hair...or whatever...or some GQ HUNK......more than likely she will even IGNORE the email completely....so in that case, she wont' even have read the email to see what "my approach" was all about. I'm rather suprised that no one here , cept one person mentioned this. Um, that's exactly what I said. It's either YOU (your appearance!), your profile (which still includes your appearance!), or your approach. Women receive emails like yours every single day. I get about 2-4 emails that sound just like yours every single day. What makes me respond is whether I like what they look like.
Shygirl15 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 Here you're talking about the OP's email... you might like it but most women wouldn't think much of it and I bet if you had this and a dozen similar emails it wouldn't be so great.. How do you know most women wouldn't think much of it, you are not a woman are you? In my experience of online dating and receiving dozen of emails, I have seen all sorts of crappy stuff guys write in emails. I find nothing wrong with OP's email, in fact I can see myself responding to that kind of email. I have responded to less nicer emails, when the guy is eyecatching. Like I said, I believe his issue is not the way he approaches women at all. .
DunnoWhat Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 How do you know most women wouldn't think much of it, you are not a woman are you? In my experience of online dating and receiving dozen of emails, I have seen all sorts of crappy stuff guys write in emails. I find nothing wrong with OP's email, in fact I can see myself responding to that kind of email. I have responded to less nicer emails, when the guy is eyecatching. Like I said, I believe his issue is not the way he approaches women at all. . No I'm not a woman but I'm the one who has to attract women, you don't. Women give men wrong advise usually. You know he's such a nice guy he'd be great for my friend/daughter etc etc BUT NOT FOR HERSELF. lol There are some women on this site that know what they want and some disagree with you about the email being attractive.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 Women give men wrong advise usually. Huh? Where'd you come up with this theory?
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