Dating a co-worker

[anecdote]

why is dating a co-worker greeted with a definite no with posters?

 

I always thought it was another way of meeting someone. another avenue.

 

Are there any positives with dating a co-worker?

[Arise_Serpentor]

You do what you feel is best! Where i work, we have many married couples!!!

but how often do you work with this person? are you prepared to deal with her if you have a messy break up?!?!

[anecdote]

I have no qualms with dating someone from work.

 

I work with this person once, or twice a week, sometimes more.

 

Isn't every break up 'messy'? I wouldn't know as I have never been in a relationship.

 

I'd like to think I am mature enough to separate work from pleasure and pleasure from work. I'd like to think I am mature enough to finish with someone without the air of ill-feeling.

[stillafool]

why is dating a co-worker greeted with a definite no with posters?

 

I always thought it was another way of meeting someone. another avenue.

 

Are there any positives with dating a co-worker?

 

I think people who seek relationships through work don't have much of a social life. I wouldn't want to look at the person I'm seeing all day long. Plus, I wouldn't want that type of distraction. I think people should go to work to work, not socialize unless it's a special occasion.

[endlesstrains]

I think it depends on the nature of your workplace. I met my BF at work and work with him some days. No one thinks this is unusual because there are several couples at my work who either both work there or met when they both worked there. It is a more informal, relaxed atmosphere, but in a place with stricter or more professional rules this may not be appropriate. Of course there is also the matter of breaking up and possibly disrupting the workplace this way-- which does concern me sometimes, but I know I won't work there forever, and I don't see a breakup anytime in the near future, so it's not too much to worry about. That's my two cents.

[Karyyk]

There might be some positives (depends on the people really). With gas as high as it is, the idea of eventually having someone to carpool with is pretty cool.

 

Seriously though, just remember one big yellow flag when it comes to work relationships (especially after they've become serious): if it goes downhill, and things don't work out, it could really make for an awkward, potentially painful situation at the workplace. It's not good at all, and in a lot of cases, one, if not both parties end up looking for another job, just to get away from it.

[JohnnyBlaze]

Positives (during relation):

 

• Can have lunch with her often
  
• Carpooling
  
• Know she's not a bum - she has a job!
  
• Can send little love letters/emails throughout day.
  
• Sex in the office. You know all those clichés about two working late, closing the office door and having a whole lotta fun? It's true - it IS a whole lotta fun!
  
• You already have an idea what she's like when she's not 'on her game'.
  
• She already knows what you do for a living, so she's not in for a surprise (e.g. if you're a big biker who happens to be an accountant, or a scrawny nerd who welds)
  

Negatives (during relation):

 

• If in the same department, you may have to speak out against her in meetings.
  
• Can't complain to the guys at work about the missus.
  
• Can't get away from the missus.
  
• Someone will invariably get annoyed that the two of you are kissing "all the time" at work, even if it only happened once in the past two years.
  
• You WILL be the subject of gossip. There's nothing you can do to stop it; just accept it and continue.
  
• Can't fib about having to work late when you're really going out bowling.
  

Negatives (after breakup):

 

• If she's a co-worker, it can be awkward to constantly see her.
  
• If she's a boss, pray the breakup was amicable. Otherwise you're never being promoted again. Ever.
  

Would I recommend it? No. Have I done it myself? Yep. Would I do it again? Yep. Then again, I've always been a 'do as I say, not as I do' type of person.

[refurb]

I've done it, you just need to be VERY careful. You need to realize that a bad relationship with a co-worker will often lead to a bad work situation.

 

One important point is, how often do you run into the person at work? The more often, the bigger the risk you are taking.

 

If the relationship goes sour and you run into the person once a week for a few minutes, big deal. If you have to work with them everyday, it could get ugly.

 

But to he honest, it all depends on the people involved. If both people can act maturely, then even the fallout from a bad breakup can be kept out of the office.

 

RF

[vedderbetter]

Generally, I think there are more negative than positives and sometimes the relationship (not just the breakup) can really impact your career. It's good to have seperate lives so to speak so you have somethign to talk about when you get home.

 

But then again, I work in a family owned company and I'm marrying my boss in a few months, so who am I to talk? =)

[Shygirl15]

Where I work we have 600 married couples!

 

We have rules in place though: relationship should be declared immediately, and should not be a supervisor-subordinate relationship, or someone who contributes to annual performance review.

 

I personally do not see any harm in dating a co-worker. It may be awkward if it's a relatively small office though.

[anecdote]

Interesting points.

 

For the record, I don't seek relationships at the work place, bars or clubs. I do little or no searching for relationships. I should perhaps be a little more proactive, when I am interested in someone. I tend to let nature take its course.

 

I'm a young person, so I do not work in an office and I only work part time. She is in the same age range as me and has atrracted me and has my interest, I just wanted to see, why a lot of people disapprove of work based relationships. I think I have my answers.