Melovator Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I've been doing really well, and its probably just because I'm really tired right now that I'm upset. My son was being naughty, demanding chocolate biscuits for dinner and when I said no he started on his usual round of "Want Daddy, Want Nanna, Want Aunty etc etc." only today he added to the list "Want XXXX (name of ex's skanky whorebag girlfriend)" It was all I could do not to yell at him and I knew that one day this would happen that he would talk about her, after all she's been a part of his life since before his father and I split up (my ex would take my son to visit with her when he was 'giving me time to myself'- time I usually spent catching up on domestic chores because I was trying so hard to be the best damn clayton's wife (the wife you're having when you don't actually marry her) I could.) I changed the subject and went to my room and just burst into tears, tears of anger and frustration and pain. I know there is nothing I can do, that I have to accept with good grace the presence of someone I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire in my son's life. I have no choice, she is is his father's girlfriend, but goddamn it hurts. It hurts so bad. I thought I could deal, that I was strong and powerful and loving and could just accept that that's the way it is but right now I can't, right now I just want to smack the bitch eleven ways to Sunday. Why should she have any part in my beautiful son's life, she is undeserving of the wonderfulness that he is. Now I'm crying, my son has come in and he is crying because I'm upset and I don't want to upset him but I can't stop crying. I know that life isn't fair, that things happen that just plain suck and that eventually karma catches up with everyone. These days most of the time I'm a glass half full person and I'm trying to tell myself that its wonderful that there is another person in his life who loves and cares for him and that I should be happy for my son for having that, but I just can't feel it. I can't feel happy that she is there, even though I know statistically speaking that the chances she will be in his life in just a few short years are slim to none (especially considering that I know if I was to say to the ex- how about a shag? he'd very quickly agree- not that I would because I'm not a skanky whorebag and I respect other people's relationships even if they don't.) I just have to deal. I don't want to though, I want to tell my son she's horrible and yucky and smells (well at least her feet do- my ex and I are still doing the car switchy thing because the car he normally drives isn't safe or reliable enough to put our son into- and quite a few times her smelly skanky grotty shoes have been in the car- and no sh*t I've nearly vomited they smell that bad and I've told my ex that next time they're in the car I'm just going to throw them out.) but I won't say that. I won't say anything. I WILL DEAL, this is no biggie after everything else I've got through, its just another little speed bump, my son's happiness is what counts, not my hurt, that's mine to deal with not his. Breathe... you're just tired Mel... now smile and remember why you're tired... hehehehehe my ex is so crap in bed, I just have to remember that now she has to put up with his lack of oral technique and tendency to start thinking about work halfway through... oh yeah and laugh because she's so vanilla she thinks dancing in her underwear is a wild time!!! I on the other hand am damn fabulous as I was told just last night... oh yeah I rule! It doesn't matter, I am and always will be my son's mother and she can never take that away from me, and what she has taken I know damn well I'd never want back now. Feeling better, not crying, goddamn I love LS. My life is fantastic and I've done it myself (with lots of help, and encouragement from people here- seriously might have topped myself if it wasn't for this site)! Yay me! She doesn't matter, she is nothing to me, water off a ducks back. Thanks for letting me vent.
Peter_pan Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 sorry to hear that, sounds painful this on the other hand kicks ass >> Breathe... you're just tired Mel... now smile and remember why you're tired... hehehehehe my ex is so crap in bed, I just have to remember that now she has to put up with his lack of oral technique and tendency to start thinking about work halfway through... oh yeah and laugh because she's so vanilla she thinks dancing in her underwear is a wild time!!! I on the other hand am damn fabulous as I was told just last night... oh yeah I rule! It doesn't matter, I am and always will be my son's mother and she can never take that away from me, and what she has taken I know damn well I'd never want back now. Feeling better, not crying, goddamn I love LS. My life is fantastic and I've done it myself (with lots of help, and encouragement from people here- seriously might have topped myself if it wasn't for this site)! Yay me! She doesn't matter, she is nothing to me, water off a ducks back. Thanks for letting me vent.
Nomad1 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Hey Molevator, you sound so nice! I know that there is nothing that anyone says that could make you feel better. You have been down this road for a while. I am sure that you wouldn't want your ex back, and I do understand your unease about having someone else imposed on his life! Don't be annoyed about the shoes! Tell him 'wow, these are nice shoes! Your girl has style!...shame about the nauseating smell though! Hey girl, you don't want someone who lacks agility and creativity in the oral technique! It sounds like you had a good time last night though! Take care Nomad1
Missy27 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Mel ~ you know that I think you are amazing You're right ~ this IS just another bump in the long road that we call life. Life IS tough ~ it's NOT plain sailing ~ you know that about as well as anyone else ~ Pick yourself up honey ~ dust yourself off ~ and remember who is the goddess in this ~ YOU ~ Skank isn't worth a dime of you ~ and I know how hard it must be to hear your son say her name ~ but think of it as another one of life's little testers ~ it's been thrown at you now ~ you've heard the worst of it ~ IF it happens again ~ you'll deal with it. And just think about it like this ~~ Whatever relationship your Ex has with skank ~ so damn what ~ there's NOTHING that she can do with or to him that you haven't already done ~ You married him ~ you had his child ~ you're the better shag ~ what in the he!! can SHE do to or with him that you haven't ~ AND ~ What in the he!! can HE do to her that he hasn't already done to YOU (bar **** her in the earhole) :lmao: Chin up Mel
SingleDad Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Melovator - I can only imagine how hard it would be to cope with that situation... I continue to maintain the hope that my STBXW and I can have some level of relationship, friendship, dating, or even save marriage. It will destroy me if/when I learn that she has a BF and if/when my daughter starts calling him daddy !!!! Oh the agony !!!
Author Melovator Posted July 19, 2008 Author Posted July 19, 2008 sorry to hear that, sounds painful It kind of kicked me in the guts last night... but feeling better now. Hey Molevator, you sound so nice! I know that there is nothing that anyone says that could make you feel better. You have been down this road for a while. I am sure that you wouldn't want your ex back, and I do understand your unease about having someone else imposed on his life! Don't be annoyed about the shoes! Tell him 'wow, these are nice shoes! Your girl has style!...shame about the nauseating smell though! Hey girl, you don't want someone who lacks agility and creativity in the oral technique! It sounds like you had a good time last night though! Take care Nomad1 Well its been over a year now and I know I'm soooo much better without the ex, and that that is to my son's advantage and in a way I also have to see skanky botox vanilla woman's presence in his life as an advantage too because I honestly doubt that my ex would see his son as much as does (usually 2 nights a week, at least 1 and sometimes 3) if he didn't have her there to back him up. This is not just good for my son because he loves his dad but also for me... because I need 'non-mummylady' time to do my own things in... hee hee! They're nice shoes- she has very expensive taste (something her ex-husband could not afford to support while my ex can) too bad she can't be bothered to spend a little bit of extra money on some odour eaters! And yes I had lots of fun the other night... got another date with him next week... quite looking forward to it... there's going to be outfits! Mel ~ you know that I think you are amazing You're right ~ this IS just another bump in the long road that we call life. Life IS tough ~ it's NOT plain sailing ~ you know that about as well as anyone else ~ Pick yourself up honey ~ dust yourself off ~ and remember who is the goddess in this ~ YOU ~ Skank isn't worth a dime of you ~ and I know how hard it must be to hear your son say her name ~ but think of it as another one of life's little testers ~ it's been thrown at you now ~ you've heard the worst of it ~ IF it happens again ~ you'll deal with it. And just think about it like this ~~ Whatever relationship your Ex has with skank ~ so damn what ~ there's NOTHING that she can do with or to him that you haven't already done ~ You married him ~ you had his child ~ you're the better shag ~ what in the he!! can SHE do to or with him that you haven't ~ AND ~ What in the he!! can HE do to her that he hasn't already done to YOU (bar **** her in the earhole) :lmao: Chin up Mel You know I think you're amazing too Missy- I want to be just like you when I grow up!:love: Well I certainly know that there's plenty of things the ex will never do with her that we used to do... because they're things he suggests to me when he decides to be a bit bold. My response is 'too bad too sad mate you need to talk to your girlfriend about your sexual needs' because now I know that while our sex life was good it was mostly because I'm pretty darn excellent... well that's what I've been told, and surely that many men wouldn't all lie about it... my god that makes me sound like a slut! No I'm not a slut just a woman with a high sex drive and no hang ups!:lmao: (And its not like I'm even need to take my (non-smelly) shoes off to keep count) He never married me, dumped me at the altar, but now I think it wasn't that he dumped me FOR her, it was that he couldn't handle being a grown up with grown up responsibilities and when he left she was already there with expectations... so again I should really feel sorry for the woman... because he will eventually cheat on her and his offers to me show that he's already thinking about it. He could try f**king her earhole but from the gossip I've heard from her ex-husband's new girlfriend (I live in a VERY connected city- everyone knows everyone else here!) she'd be likely to freak out and go 'oh my god that's so nasty!" :laugh: (my thoughts are that if its not nasty you're not doing it right!) I just have to be positive for myself and for my son. My life is good, I don't have to see her or anything and as long as she's nice to my son that's what counts. Next time he talks about her I'll just go "that's nice honey." or if its relation to him trying to get his own way just give the same response I do when he tries to cry for anyone else "They wouldn't let you eat chocolate biscuits for dinner, stay up past bedtime or run around in the rain naked either!" I'm a goddess and they're both idiots! And when I stand on top of this speed bump I can see just how small it is and just stupid I would be to make a big deal out of it. Already feel stupid for getting so upset last night... but live and learn! Melovator - I can only imagine how hard it would be to cope with that situation... I continue to maintain the hope that my STBXW and I can have some level of relationship, friendship, dating, or even save marriage. It will destroy me if/when I learn that she has a BF and if/when my daughter starts calling him daddy !!!! Oh the agony !!! I'm friendly to my ex but we are not, nor do I conceive of us ever being, friends again. We are business partner now in the business of raising one small boy, I of course am Chief Executive Mummy Lady with responsibility for day-today operations while the ex follows my lead and is an Executive Officer... at best the girlfriend is a part-time associate! If you are concerned Singledad with any other man being called daddy by your daughter in the future then it may be a conversation you need to have with your STBXW- to explain calmly that you are and always will be your daughter's daddy and that it is completely inappropriate for your ex or anyone she gets involved with to encourage your daughter to call anyone else daddy- and I know that this only happens if kids are encouraged (either overtly or covertly) by the adults around them to do so. I called my stepdad 'dad' but my own father pissed off after he left my mother for her best friend and basically had no involvement with us- I didn't see him for over a decade and I've only just started building a relationship with him in the last few years. Thanks once again everyone... feel a bit foolish for getting so upset about something I knew was going to happen eventually... :o
LakesideDream Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Melo... wanna have some fun? Next time you switch cars with the ex take a one gallon zip lock bag with you, put the shoes in and add a "no pest strip" or "deodorant strip" in the bag with them. Don't say a word, just throw the bag in the backseat...
Author Melovator Posted July 19, 2008 Author Posted July 19, 2008 Melo... wanna have some fun? Next time you switch cars with the ex take a one gallon zip lock bag with you, put the shoes in and add a "no pest strip" or "deodorant strip" in the bag with them. Don't say a word, just throw the bag in the backseat... :lmao::lmao: I loves ya Lakeside! Maybe that will work because when I sprayed the car with masses of carpet deodoriser all I got was a complaint that the car smelt 'girly'- I even said "Well at least it doesn't smell of foot odour anymore." but no response and the next week the shoes were there again! He did find the small end of a condom wrapper under the back seat a month ago (It was an oversight- it not like I did it deliberately- I was actually quite embarrassed- I was seeing a guy who lived right on the other side of town from me... so the car was the most convenient place... but he had issues and was making 'relationy noises' and was waaaay too similar to the ex so bye bye!) and he went off his head at me "How would you feel if I left reminders lying around?" to which I responded "X the empty half of my bed is a constant reminder to me that you're sleeping with someone else and hello! shoes."- and then you know what? The idiot's so blind he completely missed the underpants and stockings I'd forgotten down the side of the passenger seat!!! :lmao: hehehehe... I'm going to have to go shopping before next friday...
quankanne Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 aw, honey, just let it all out, and know that you're a classier bird than the chick he's with now. and remember, once Miss Thing is out of his life (and your child's), you're little one isn't going to remember boo about her. But he will never ever forget the mama who loves him.
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