miss_28 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 i'm so mad at myself... i was having a perfectly good day... got lots of work done, set some clear goals, and most importantly, didn't think about the x! And then.... out of the blue, one of our mutual friends calls after weeks of not being in touch (she's been my friend all our lives, she's like a sister to me). I made the stupid impulsive mistake asking how he was doing... (i know, i know) and she told me he seems fine to her... they all went camping recently and he seemed to be behaving normally, having fun and socializing with his friends, etc. ARGH! I know it's completely irrational for me to be angry\hurt that he's over me, but I am mad... I'm furious in fact that he hasn't once mentioned my name, that he hasn't once tried to make contact and that he could forget about me so easily! it sounds so egotistical, but i think i deserve one little sign that he feels bad about (i.e. regrets) dumping me! I feel like I was played the entire time we were together (its likely not the case, its just the way i feel)... I feel like a complete and total idiot! I'm an idiot for asking about him, but first and foremost, i'm an idiot for being so into him while we were together... for putting too much stock in his words and actions, and it scares me to think how easily someone can lose their feelings for me... this is the first time i've been blindsided like that - and it really makes me wonder if its at all worth risking my heart ever again. just needed to get that off my chest. now i'm off to do some laundry.
megapositive Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 No, you're not an idiot, you just had a bad day. I'm in a similar situation, I was so into him, blah blah and overlooked way too many signs that he wasn't really able to treat me right -- not just me, but I believe, any woman. Don't feel bad that you gave your heart to him, it's his loss that he couldn't realize what a gift it is to have someone really, truly care about you. It doesn't come that easily! Regarding his behaving as if all is well and good on that camping trip... that doesn't really mean anything. You don't know how he feels when he's alone, what he thinks about, whether or not he misses you and wants to call... Imagine if someone saw you earlier today, when your day was good, you probably appeared happy, laughed and joked a bit, etc. They could describe that to him and he'd be under the impression you were totally fine with the break up. Hope this helps!
SundaeMorning Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 i'm so mad at myself... I made the stupid impulsive mistake asking how he was doing... (i know, i know) and she told me he seems fine to her... they all went camping recently and he seemed to be behaving normally, having fun and socializing with his friends, etc. ARGH! I know it's completely irrational for me to be angry\hurt that he's over me, but I am mad... I'm furious in fact that he hasn't once mentioned my name, that he hasn't once tried to make contact and that he could forget about me so easily! it sounds so egotistical, but i think i deserve one little sign that he feels bad about (i.e. regrets) dumping me! i had to re-read this and shake my head bc i felt like I was the one who wrote it..... i just went thru a very similar situation... and i HATE how i felt to hear that he seemed to be doing okay and didn't seem to be hurting, etc...... it's one thing to want to hear "i made a mistake, i want to get back together" (i don't need to hear that) --- but i think it's another just to know that it isn't easy for him as well. my ex feels, and i quote, "pretty okay with it now" -- WHAT?! we were together for almost three years and you're FINE in a month? i felt like i was doing as well as could be expected, you know? focusing on work and trying to have fun and getting used to being one-of-one and not one-of-two people... and then hearing how he's doing from mutual friends.. it's like back to square one for me. that chest-aching, stomach-in-knots, uncomfortableness of it all..... i don't like when i think i'm okay, and one little fact or bit of knowledge or statement by word-of-mouth could make me feel like crap again. No, you're not an idiot, you just had a bad day. Regarding his behaving as if all is well and good... that doesn't really mean anything. You don't know how he feels when he's alone, what he thinks about, whether or not he misses you and wants to call... Imagine if someone saw you earlier today, when your day was good, you probably appeared happy, laughed and joked a bit, etc. They could describe that to him and he'd be under the impression you were totally fine with the break up. Hope this helps! And then I read this, and I felt better. Like the subject title of the thread... "momentary lapse of reason.." - i know this is the down part of the ups and downs of eventually moving on and feeling better. i don't mean that our feeling angry and/or irrational isn't validated! but i'm gonna try to take it as.. maybe we really did have a bad day.
Author miss_28 Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 thank you both... those comments brought me back from my mood... and you're both right.
Recommended Posts