SadShamrock Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Hi there. I haven't been around for a while, because a lot has been going on, and I haven't had access to a computer. Anyway, the ex and I have been in contact since the end of May. We have actually been getting along well as friends. The problem is this- he is fulfilling this need that I had for him to forgive me and for us to move on as friends. He has also told me quite a few times that he still wants me. He is far removed from attaching any kind of feeling to it though. I'm not going to lie it feels good to hear some of the things he has been saying- like he hasn't met or connected with someone like we did. Particularly physically. The bigger problem is this- He is with someone new. As far as I know, she is smitten with him. He refuses to admit he has feelings for her, except that they get along a lot better than we ever did (we fought like cats and dogs). The problem is this- I feel like he is cheating on his new girl with me, because of the conversations we have. Also I'm not being fair to myself, because I almost feel like he is setting me up to. I have always been extremely open and affectionate, which he is well aware...and I almost feel like he is using me to feed his ego--- but he has this other girl. I know! I should not talk to him!!! How do I stay away though? I'm not dating anyone seriously right now. I have been having fun and enjoying myself, but I find myself drawn to him...if just to get over the brutality of our break up. Also, everything from the car I wanted...the house we were going to buy....to the kind of profession I wanted him to be....he is doing doing all of these things...and is telling me all the time. We joke about stuff, but he always throws in a snide, "What? You wish you could share this with me?" I just respond by saying...please don't say stuff like that. Anyway, I know what I should do. Maybe this is just my warning to all of you broken hearted folks that NC is the best. I have my ex in my life. We have a lovely time talking; however, I feel like eventually round 2 of the break up is just around the corner, and I'll be where I was 9 months ago. Someone kick my ass into reality...please.
foxh1234 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Hi, you asked for a kick in the ass, so here it is. He is with someone else and that someone is not you. He is keeping you around to make him feel better. he can have you and the new one. You deserve better than this. Do not make yourself available and go NC right now. If he wants you, he will have to fight for you. If he doesn't want you, NC will help you heal and move on. Do not continue to be a doormat for this selfish person. Move on and find someone who wants to be with you and not just have you as a back up plan.
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