TheSilentType Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Say you got into a relationship with a woman who made as much or more than you. Would you expect her to pull more of her weight financially? Like if you dated, would you expect to pay more for things you guys do? I know if if I was with a woman who made considerably less, I wouldn't mind paying most of the time. I could see wanting to take care of her. But I'm not sure what I would tolerate if the woman made as much or more.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Well you win brownie points for paying for the first date. But there are alot of women who would go dutch or split the check with you. I guess it depends. Women who are financially independent would definitely try to pay for themselves, but they would like to be treated once in a while.
Shygirl15 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Honestly, I think a guy should continue to pay for all dates until exclusivity is established, regardless of a woman's financial status. It's the gentlemanly thing to do. Unless she INSISTS to chip in..
aubree1982 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I'm the type of girl who likes to pay sometimes. I'm a single mom and don't have much money but I can afford it ever now and then. The guy I'm seeing now usually insists on paying because he knows my situation but I've sliped in a few when he's gone to the restroom or isn't paying attention when the check come. I don't feel the guy should always pay especially if the woman has money of her own. How many times have you gone out with her? If it's only been a few then no need to worry...but if its been several and she has never offered to pay or go dutch then I think your concerns are valid. Maybe next time drop a few hints about having to pay your bills or whatnot and see if she offers to pay.
Lizzie60 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Say you got into a relationship with a woman who made as much or more than you. Would you expect her to pull more of her weight financially? Like if you dated, would you expect to pay more for things you guys do? I know if if I was with a woman who made considerably less, I wouldn't mind paying most of the time. I could see wanting to take care of her. But I'm not sure what I would tolerate if the woman made as much or more. No I don't see it that way.. let's say the woman makes more or the guy, doesn't matter, it should be 'equal'.. I never understood why a guy would have to pay for all the dates or even most of the dates.. If a guy pays for one date... I will pay for the next one.. it's not like we're counting our change on the table.. and we're not keeping a record book of how much one spent.. etc.. this is childish and 'loserish'... Women want to be independant.. but they still want the guy to pay... hummm not fair and that is 'double standard'... IMO
forrest Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Women want to be independant.. but they still want the guy to pay... hummm not fair and that is 'double standard'... IMO Bingo, why is it because you are a woman (just talking in general Liz, not to you) that you deserve to have every guy oogle over you? Double standard indeed.
Shygirl15 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Bingo, why is it because you are a woman (just talking in general Liz, not to you) that you deserve to have every guy oogle over you? Double standard indeed. Why is it bingo?? Is it because Lizzie said what you wanted to hear? Sounds cheap to me. Pay for your dates Mister, and you'll experience even better future dates.
Prodigal Princess Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I always, always, always insist on going dutch. The only times I've let guys pay my way is for my birthday or a few random drinks. I cannot stand the feeling of obligation that comes with a guy buying me something, it makes my skin crawl. I earn a lot more than most people my age and often (if not always) earn more than the guys I go out with. This has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on who pays for what; it should always be equal. I think the only time that earnings should come into the equation is when the relationship progresses and you buy more expensive stuff as a couple (i.e. household goods, holidays, cars etc).
Krytie TV Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 OP, don't get sucked into this trap of feeling you need to treat her all of the time if she makes more than you. It will only serve to foster a hoarding behavior on her part. This is based on my experience however. Create and encourage at the beginning the behavior you expect to follow through on later. By setting your boundary earlier, there is less for her to complain about later. If she needs you to spend more on her to make her happy, tell her to find a sugar daddy. Money does not equate to love or demonstrate affection, so why create that perception early on?
woods321 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I am more old fashioned . Some women feel less "lady like" if they are paying for dates. I can see this side. I also feel if a man DOES NOT want to pay for you , there is a woman he WILL want to pay for and be happy with it at the same time. Lets say you land a date with Pamela Anderson(pick your favorite woman) . Are you going to be asking her to pay and be annoyed? Chances are no. You are happy to pay. If you are with a woman you are not that into paying would be annoying. This is when it might be time to find a different woman.
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