AnLandy Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I have a really great friend who is a very funny, interesting, successful woman but continually picks losers. She lived with a man from 2001-2004. He was ten years younger than she was, and she tended to take on most of the financial responsibilities in the relationship. Eventually, after accepting a job in another state, he moved out, telling her that they could do the long distance thing for a while until she decided whe was ready to move to be near him. Three months later, she received a break-up e-mail. A few months after that, she found out through mutual friends that he had a new girlfriend. I found out last month when I went to visit her that she has been monitoring his Myspace page since the break-up. She has been trolling for pictures of the woman he "dumped" her for, checking to see which of their mutual friends is still in contact with him, and tracking where he moves. While I was visiting her, an announcement went up on his homepage that he and this woman just got engaged. My friend was really bitter and angry about it, and kept surfing through the page trying to find a picture of the ring that the "tightwad" bought for this woman. I knew that this had been a BAD break-up and that she basically hated this guy's guts, but I was not aware that she was still keeping track of his life from afar. Does anyone else find this kreepy? She is having a really hard time letting go of her resentment from this relationship, and it is starting to hold her back. Do I say anything to her? Should I just let this one lie?
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 She is preventing herself from letting go and moving so she can properly heal. She's stuck in a state of wanting to know his business, which feeds her feelings for him. It is wrong and she needs to stop. This isn't helping her. You should just lightly suggest that it would be better for HER to stop looking. He's moved on, she is hanging on.
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