herenow Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I have a feeling by the time I get up tomorrow, this thread will be locked and deleted! Let's hope so because it serves no good. Moving on...
Lookingforward Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I don't think you insulted anyone in this post, so I can't see why you should get an infraction. I'd like to know what good comes from starting a thread like this in the first place. I don't think the OP has good intentions and it's a bit of the pot calling the kettle black. KWIM? Kind of ironic though to see a BS posting about what type of thread is valid to be started on on OW forum though don't you think ?
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 These threads just add fuel to the fire and set people off, finger pointing and accusations happen - Then the cycle starts all over again and spills out onto other threads.
Lookingforward Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Basically, people just need to remember what the forums are here for in the first place - and it's not venting your spleen with a scattergun approach on anyone you choose to.......
Tomcat33 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Kind of ironic though to see a BS posting about what type of thread is valid to be started on on OW forum though don't you think ? Exactly!
White Flower Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Katanya, I haven't read the whole thread so forgive me for that in advance. How are you doing? Are you in recovery? I've been concerned about you. I'm going to go and fee the neighbor's zoo of a household while they are on vacation. I'll read the rest of the thread when I get back. Hugs, and I'm glad you're posting again;)
Tomcat33 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Care to compare? No actually. I don't I can honestly say I have been infracted and and banned plenty of times so there is no point of comparisson there. BUT my take-away is the amount of times people have said to me on PM, email or phone conversations "thank you for being there and for really hearing me out" thank you for taking your own time to really be there for me. That is all I care about. It just so happens that there is always some nasty meddlers that have nothing better to do than to interrupt the flow of a thread with rude and hyper critical comments and that is when I lose it, I have no patience for that I will ALWAYS go for the underdog, even if it means getting me an infraction. And unfortunately sometimes I push the envelope in a moment of fury or simply when I feel passionate about a subject/topic and a LOT of people do. I prefer to be be known for that than to be known for a some nasty meddler that is just out to spew hatred everywhere they go. We all know who they are.
White Flower Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Thus the reason you need the forum. You know you can't tell your mommy and daddy and friends what you are involved in. It's so funny the ow like to pretend it is only the self righteous who frown upon it. Whatever you need to tell yourself I guess.Um, I have told everyone in my life including my adult child. Some of us are just open books I guess. Only my two youngest don't know but I will have no trouble telling them about it when I think they're ready. I won't tell them about future unmarried men I date either until I think they're ready. It really is only the self-righteous who frown upon 'it'. There are two kinds of people in this world; self-righteous and non-judgmental. The self-righteous seem to find the need to show up like a fire fighter first on the scene to put out the passion or something.
White Flower Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I don't think you insulted anyone in this post, so I can't see why you should get an infraction. I'd like to know what good comes from starting a thread like this in the first place. I don't think the OP has good intentions and it's a bit of the pot calling the kettle black. KWIM? With all due respect, I think the OP just wants to see a place that claims to be one of support actually deliver what it offers.
Lookingforward Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 No actually. I don't I can honestly say I have been infracted and and banned plenty of times so there is no point of comparisson there. BUT my take-away is the amount of times people have said to me on PM, email or phone conversations "thank you for being there and for really hearing me out" thank you for taking your own time to really be there for me. That is all I care about. It just so happens that there is always some nasty meddlers that have nothing better to do than to interrupt the flow of a thread with rude and hyper critical comments and that is when I lose it, I have no patience for that I will ALWAYS go for the underdog, even if it means getting me an infraction. And unfortunately sometimes I push the envelope in a moment of fury or simply when I feel passionate about a subject/topic and a LOT of people do. I prefer to be be known for that than to be known for a some nasty meddler that is just out to spew hatred everywhere they go. We all know who they are. and some incur more infractions than others due to those that trawl the boards finger ever poised above the alert us button (they really should get a hobby or at the least a sense of humour)
Lookingforward Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 With all due respect, I think the OP just wants to see a place that claims to be one of support actually deliver what it offers. yes yes yes
Virgo1982 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Basically, people just need to remember what the forums are here for in the first place - and it's not venting your spleen with a scattergun approach on anyone you choose to....... LF you rock!
bentnotbroken Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Um, I have told everyone in my life including my adult child. Some of us are just open books I guess. Only my two youngest don't know but I will have no trouble telling them about it when I think they're ready. I won't tell them about future unmarried men I date either until I think they're ready. It really is only the self-righteous who frown upon 'it'. There are two kinds of people in this world; self-righteous and non-judgmental. The self-righteous seem to find the need to show up like a fire fighter first on the scene to put out the passion or something. WF, I don't think that is true, I know your opinion. I am righteous in my beliefs, that doesn't mean I am self righteous. And I do judge, every aspect of my life. But stating my beliefs and when I state them, doesn't mean a judgement on you or anyone else. I don't have that right, it isn't my job. I know that you didn't direct this at me, but there have been a few ow/om who have talked with me about my belief system. I was glad to answer their questions and whatever support they asked of me, I did.
Virgo1982 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 WF, I don't think that is true, I know your opinion. I am righteous in my beliefs, that doesn't mean I am self righteous. And I do judge, every aspect of my life. But stating my beliefs and when I state them, doesn't mean a judgement on you or anyone else. I don't have that right, it isn't my job. I know that you didn't direct this at me, but there have been a few ow/om who have talked with me about my belief system. I was glad to answer their questions and whatever support they asked of me, I did. I haven't seen that with you. I've only seen 2-maybe 3-people who are relentless. They are a small bunch, but they are overbearing.
Lookingforward Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I haven't seen that with you. I've only seen 2-maybe 3-people who are relentless. They are a small bunch, but they are overbearing. and don't forget unhappy
Virgo1982 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 and don't forget unhappy I just wonder what time they spend with the H/W. The one who should never cheat on them...
bentnotbroken Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I think that I am relentless in trying to get people to see that maybe this isn't the best deal for them. I don't use much tact and I have more infractions than I can count. I even got one for saying when you lay down with dogs you get fleas, go figure. I don't think that most are bitter either, but certain words rub some people the wrong way. It pisses me off for people to say that I don't see the other side. Actually I do, more clearly than so many think. But that doesn't mean that I am incapable of seeing that side and still saying I think it is wrong. Just a thought.
Virgo1982 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I think that I am relentless in trying to get people to see that maybe this isn't the best deal for them. I don't use much tact and I have more infractions than I can count. I even got one for saying when you lay down with dogs you get fleas, go figure. I don't think that most are bitter either, but certain words rub some people the wrong way. It pisses me off for people to say that I don't see the other side. Actually I do, more clearly than so many think. But that doesn't mean that I am incapable of seeing that side and still saying I think it is wrong. Just a thought. What do you see? Two sides bickering over something neither one of them should want?
bentnotbroken Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 What do you see? Two sides bickering over something neither one of them should want? Exactly. But I do see a M person wanting to see if they can salvage what they believed was their life. They have invested time and energy as well as extended family into their relatioship. It crossed my mind at first, when Mr. Messy begged to come home. We had a lot of years together, basically grew up together. We had children, assests, good times and memories as well as some really bad ones. All of those thoughts ran through my head. Then I remembered what he did of his own free will, the person I trusted the most. I know that I could never trust him again for putting my life in danger. Exposing me to disease and my kids to a out of control crazy person. But for the ow to think that he would be true to her after he wasn't true to me, I don't get. I don't understand why she believed all the mess he told her. If he lied to me, doesn't it occur to her that he will lie to her. Needless to say when she dumped him, he saw clearly that the M wasn't as bad as he made it out to be.
Lizzie60 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I just wonder what time they spend with the H/W. The one who should never cheat on them... Hahaha.. exactly.. I have been thinking the same thing.. how come the 'Holier than Thou'.. who say they would NEVER cheat.. spend sooo much time on these boards... cyber flirting.. and maybe having a cyber A... I know one for sure.. but I won't say who it is.. she's one of the 'Holiest than Thou' of all... but yet swears right and left that she would never ever cheat.. and I'm sure she's not the only one.. This is tooo much!!!!
Lookingforward Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Hahaha.. exactly.. I have been thinking the same thing.. how come the 'Holier than Thou'.. who say they would NEVER cheat.. spend sooo much time on these boards... cyber flirting.. and maybe having a cyber A... I know one for sure.. but I won't say who it is.. she's one of the 'Holiest than Thou' of all... but yet swears right and left that she would never ever cheat.. and I'm sure she's not the only one.. This is tooo much!!!! You should know by now that's it always the ones that already have something(one) that want more
Lizzie60 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Exactly. But I do see a M person wanting to see if they can salvage what they believed was their life. They have invested time and energy as well as extended family into their relatioship. It crossed my mind at first, when Mr. Messy begged to come home. We had a lot of years together, basically grew up together. We had children, assests, good times and memories as well as some really bad ones. All of those thoughts ran through my head. Then I remembered what he did of his own free will, the person I trusted the most. I know that I could never trust him again for putting my life in danger. Exposing me to disease and my kids to a out of control crazy person. But for the ow to think that he would be true to her after he wasn't true to me, I don't get. I don't understand why she believed all the mess he told her. If he lied to me, doesn't it occur to her that he will lie to her. Needless to say when she dumped him, he saw clearly that the M wasn't as bad as he made it out to be. So he got back together with you after she dumped him??? I was with my first MM dor 18 years.. and I know for a fact that he didn't lie to me 1/100 of what he lied to her.. He cheated on her less than 2 years after they got married.. and never stopped.. Sometimes they DO change when they find the right person, the one they truly love.. but I have to say this is quite rare.
Virgo1982 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Exactly. But I do see a M person wanting to see if they can salvage what they believed was their life. They have invested time and energy as well as extended family into their relatioship. It crossed my mind at first, when Mr. Messy begged to come home. We had a lot of years together, basically grew up together. We had children, assests, good times and memories as well as some really bad ones. All of those thoughts ran through my head. Then I remembered what he did of his own free will, the person I trusted the most. I know that I could never trust him again for putting my life in danger. Exposing me to disease and my kids to a out of control crazy person. But for the ow to think that he would be true to her after he wasn't true to me, I don't get. I don't understand why she believed all the mess he told her. If he lied to me, doesn't it occur to her that he will lie to her. Needless to say when she dumped him, he saw clearly that the M wasn't as bad as he made it out to be. Your situation may be different from others and I'm sure you understand that. But your situation is also similar to others and I can understand that as well.
Owl Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I love how the ones that do spend a good amount of time on the board are suddenly "suspect" for doing exactly that. Its a great way to try to twist this around make them look bad based on their participation here...sometimes I guess you have to take the only tack available to you. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself I guess.
luvmy2ns Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I love how the ones that do spend a good amount of time on the board are suddenly "suspect" for doing exactly that. Its a great way to try to twist this around make them look bad based on their participation here...sometimes I guess you have to take the only tack available to you. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself I guess. AND the ones leveling the accusations are on here aaaaallllllll the time.
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