Lyssa Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I'm still trying to figure out the ________. Am I missing something here?
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Nobody is perfect. I know I'm not. But there is a major difference between things like leaving the toilet seat up, having little nuances that might annoy a SO........and cheating. If you think toilet seats are the only problems some of these partners have, I can understand why you're so angry.
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I'm still trying to figure out the ________. Am I missing something here? Things one might say to blame a MM for an affair.
Lyssa Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Things one might say to blame a MM for an affair. Aaahhh... okay. Thanks.
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 ... too sweet and loveable... that's probably why he ended up cheated on... that's what happen when people are too nice.. they get walked all over them.. and... I like this avie much better... Oh no, watch out for the butcher knife. You've done it now...
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Aaahhh... okay. Thanks. Now, it took time to get there, but I found support and understanding here. It wasn't like this in the good old days.
silktricks Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Sounds like three individuals who need to make changes in that case, no? yes And in regards to the other point of personal responsibility - of course - both married partners have fallen down in their responsibility to their marriage. It should be part of their job description to make themselves understood but, let's face it, sometimes stuff happens, and sometimes people don't understand each other - even people you'd think should .
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 If you think toilet seats are the only problems some of these partners have, I can understand why you're so angry. ..... aahhh now I get it... poor him... now I can understand his bitterness...
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 ..... Aahhh now i get it... Poor him... Now i can understand his bitterness... un-be-liev-a-ble
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I'm over it. I couldn't be happier that I don't have her in my life any longer...with the exception of now a felon is living with my kids(well, not right now since he is in prison)..and the courts won't do anything about it, but thats another issue. But it doesn't mean that I can't despise despicable behavior when I see it. Whoa, how did you two end up together, Michael?
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Whoa, how did you two end up together, Michael? She wasn't like this until one of her friends got her into smoking pot. after that it was a matter of she wanted to be where she could smoke it and, apparantly, wanted to be with someone that also did the same.
luvmy2ns Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 She wasn't like this until one of her friend got her into smoking pot. Oooooo, reefer madness! Sorry, Bish, but that's not why she went down the road she did. Pot just doesn't have that kind of influence. Maybe it's the friends alone.
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 ... too sweet and loveable... that's probably why he ended up cheated on... that's what happen when people are too nice.. they get walked all over them.. No, that is what happens when people could care less who they hurt. Kind of ironic coming from someone that specifically goes after MM and conducts experiments to test a theory about cheating men and tries to get them to betray their wives. Lizzie brags about the men she can take away from their wives. And the original concept of this thread was what again??
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Oooooo, reefer madness! Sorry, Bish, but that's not why she went down the road she did. Pot just doesn't have that kind of influence. Maybe it's the friends alone. yes, it is. her interests went from being a mother who doesn't break the law or do drugs, to doing those things and hanging with other people that do them. And since I no longer did them, I guess i was just a stick in the mud.
Tomcat33 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Sorry, Bish, but that's not why she went down the road she did. Pot just doesn't have that kind of influence. Maybe it's the friends alone. What silly thing to say, drugs of any sort, or excessive drinking HAS that kind of influence on someone. Substance abuse loosens morals. Even "pot"
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Oooooo, reefer madness! Sorry, Bish, but that's not why she went down the road she did. Pot just doesn't have that kind of influence. Maybe it's the friends alone. Yes, the bolded part was my point.
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 She wasn't like this until one of her friend got her into smoking pot. How old was she when this friend got her into smoking pot?
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 How old was she when this friend got her into smoking pot? About the time she started cheating, which was around her being 26.
luvmy2ns Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 What silly thing to say, drugs of any sort, or excessive drinking HAS that kind of influence on someone. Substance abuse loosens morals. Even "pot" I know lots of smokers who never smoke before work, pay all their bills, parent their children, do NOT cheat, etc. However, I know other folks who have NEVER smoked it who have fallen in with a crowd of underachievers who do anything BUT go to work and take care of their responsibilities. What's their excuse? <--- back atcha
Tomcat33 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 yes, it is. her interests went from being a mother who doesn't break the law or do drugs, to doing those things and hanging with other people that do them. And since I no longer did them, I guess i was just a stick in the mud. Bish I had no idea you both used to partake in the same kind of stuff and you wanted to move on and she didn't CLEARLY she saw you as less of a complice. When there is drug use or excessive drinking in couples and one is ready to move and clean their life and the other doesn't it creates a huge wedge in the relationship. You guys were doomed from the get-go. Of course you were trying to do the correct thing given you are a father and want to mature, but in her mind there was a huge conflict of interest there and she prob saw it as you not wanting to "bond" her anymore. It happened to me in a relationship many moons ago. I was the one who wanted to move on from all the partying and he didn't and he resented me for that and eventually we broke up.
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Bish I had no idea you both used to partake in the same kind of stuff and you wanted to move on and she didn't CLEARLY she saw you as less of a complice. When there is drug use or excessive drinking in couples and one is ready to move and clean their life and the other doesn't it creates a huge wedge in the relationship. You guys were doomed from the get-go. Of course you were trying to do the correct thing given you are a father and want to mature, but in her mind there was a huge conflict of interest there and she prob saw it as you not wanting to "bond" her anymore. It happened to me in a relationship many moons ago. I was the one who wanted to move on from all the partying and he didn't and he resented me for that and eventually we broke up. Clarification, bad wording on my part. I never did drugs. I meant since I was no longer with the same interests as the new interest she found, I was a stick in the mud.
Tomcat33 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I know lots of smokers who never smoke before work, pay all their bills, parent their children, do NOT cheat, etc. However, I know other folks who have NEVER smoked it who have fallen in with a crowd of underachievers who do anything BUT go to work and take care of their responsibilities. What's their excuse? <--- back atcha Well the handful of people YOU know does not speak for drug stats in general. Do read up on the subject and come back and let's discuss.
Tomcat33 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Clarification, bad wording on my part. I never did drugs. I meant since I was no longer with the same interests as the new interest she found, I was a stick in the mud. Oh ok then. Still her wanting to continue partying and you not wanting to or having different interests in that respect is the same thing.
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 About the time she started cheating, which was around her being 26. Grown woman. I know you don't care for me very much, Bish. However, I'm glad to learn more about you and your situation. Makes me more empathetic. The conclusion I came away with is: we are all humans who make mistakes and learn from them. Cheating, smoking pot, etc. And everything is connected in this circle of life. Everybody grab hands and sing "We are the world." C'mon, don't be shy...
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 Grown woman. I know you don't care for me very much, Bish. However, I'm glad to learn more about you and your situation. Makes me more empathetic. The conclusion I came away with is: we are all humans who make mistakes and learn from them. Cheating, smoking pot, etc. And everything is connected in this circle of life. Everybody grab hands and sing "We are the world." C'mon, don't be shy... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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