portcitykitty Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Ladies, how many of you have confessed your feelings to your guy before he confessed to you about his, and how did that go? Guys, how many of you were on the receiving end in that kind of situation, and how did you handle it? And to the guys who haven't experienced it before, would you mind if the woman expressed her feelings for you first?
aubree1982 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I've expressed to guys how much I care about them first, but have never said the "L" word first. I like to let them know by my actions or by how much I invest in a relationship. I think woman are more apt to express their feeling more than men so maybe I'm different than most woman because I like to wait to hear they love me first. Its a hard thing, because you don't always know what the other person is thinking or how they are going to react to your strong feelings. \ Did this happen to you?
endlesstrains Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I just want to say that I am determined not to use the "L" word first, but I hope I am making it known in my actions and the way that I treat my BF that I really do care for him. I have realized for the past month or so that I am really falling in love with him. We've been together not quite five months and I have never really felt this strongly for a man before (I have only had 2 relationships previously and in neither one was I in love though I thought I was once.) I just try to show him by how I treat him how much he means to me. I think he gets the idea. In his way he also shows me how he cares for me. I don't expect to hear the "L" word from him any time soon, but that's ok... I don't think words have to be the end all be all. Actions are what really count. I think, from my point of view, you should wait to hear it from him... and in the meantime just feel secure knowing that how he treats you tells you how he feels. I think in general women are more receptive to hearing "I love you" without being scared or associating negative emotions with it so it's better to wait for the guy to say it, especially if he has been hurt in the past or is a typical man who feels threatened by too much emotion too fast.
Krytie TV Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Yes, by all means people protect yourself from the evil "L" word. Why would you possibly want to tell someone how you feel about them without them "investing" in you first and "earning" it. That would be ludicrous. I have been on the receiving end of a woman telling me she loved me first and it totally blew my mind. I loved it and felt free to reciprocate it a couple of days later. If you say it first as a woman, say it because you mean it, not because you want something in return.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I don't like to just shout the "L" word to any guy that comes along. Saying it is uncomfortable because I would be making myself vulnerable to be rejected if the guy doesn't feel the same. If the feeling is mutual, nothing need be said. Unless you want to be reassured about how insecure you are.
Author portcitykitty Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 I just want to say that I am determined not to use the "L" word first, but I hope I am making it known in my actions and the way that I treat my BF that I really do care for him. I have realized for the past month or so that I am really falling in love with him. We've been together not quite five months and I have never really felt this strongly for a man before (I have only had 2 relationships previously and in neither one was I in love though I thought I was once.) I just try to show him by how I treat him how much he means to me. I think he gets the idea. In his way he also shows me how he cares for me. I don't expect to hear the "L" word from him any time soon, but that's ok... I don't think words have to be the end all be all. Actions are what really count. I think, from my point of view, you should wait to hear it from him... and in the meantime just feel secure knowing that how he treats you tells you how he feels. I think in general women are more receptive to hearing "I love you" without being scared or associating negative emotions with it so it's better to wait for the guy to say it, especially if he has been hurt in the past or is a typical man who feels threatened by too much emotion too fast. I'm in a similar boat with you....I've been seeing this guy since Jan. and I've only been involved with 2 other guys before, and I don't think I was in love with either one of them like I thought I might've been...I think it was either a crush or infatuation, but I know it's love with this boy!!! I've been cool about things, and I haven't been expecting him to drop the "L" bomb any time soon, cuz from what he's told me, he's had a rough past with relationships. We agreed to take things really slow, which is fine...probably for the best. I can tell by his actions how much he cares for me, and that's perfectly fine. I try to do the same in return, but I've held my feelings in for too long, I was about to explode!
Author portcitykitty Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 Yes, by all means people protect yourself from the evil "L" word. Why would you possibly want to tell someone how you feel about them without them "investing" in you first and "earning" it. That would be ludicrous. I have been on the receiving end of a woman telling me she loved me first and it totally blew my mind. I loved it and felt free to reciprocate it a couple of days later. If you say it first as a woman, say it because you mean it, not because you want something in return. OF COURSE I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!
KinAZ Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I've only felt strongly enough about two people to express any tender feelings first. Other than that, it's been mostly "I like you, and enjoy spending time with you, but..." Only ONE time was that expression what I would call, mushy, and I was 16. lol After that, even with that same man, he was always the one to do the expressing first in our off and again relationship. But when it really comes down to it, I believe in saying how you feel. I haven't always done it (at least not in a proper way), but unless it's simply too soon or something in a relationship, I think it's better to say it than go on wondering "what if." I'm not necessarily speaking of the "L word" but feelings in general.
Author portcitykitty Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 I've expressed to guys how much I care about them first, but have never said the "L" word first. I like to let them know by my actions or by how much I invest in a relationship. I think woman are more apt to express their feeling more than men so maybe I'm different than most woman because I like to wait to hear they love me first. Its a hard thing, because you don't always know what the other person is thinking or how they are going to react to your strong feelings. \ Did this happen to you? I'm not very keen on dating and relationships because I've only been with 2 other guys before, and only one of them told me they loved me (he told me first), and I thought I loved him, but compared to this guy, I don't think I was in love with him! I did care about him, but how I'm feeling now is nothing like it was back then! I know I love this guy! And the first guy was a FWB kind of thing, plus I knew he had a GF (I felt soooooo bad about that too, the guilt overwhelmed me), so I never let my feelings get too involved. I'm not too keen on the "rules" of relationships either, so I dont know who is supposed to say/do what first, or what. The damage was done last night before I posted the thread...I expressed my feelings for him in a letter, and gave it to him (I thought it would be easier for me than to tell him in person). I assumed he read it when he got home. I'm trying not to let it get to me too bad because he was the one who pursued me first and chased me for several months, and never gave up. When we first started hanging out, he expressed some feelings before I ever said anything, but nothing like I told him in the letter! I tend to get a little carried away sometimes! He called me a couple times today, and I saw him a couple times as well, at his job, and he seemed fine. I wanted to ask him if he read the letter, but I'm trying to be cool and not hound him about it. He didnt mention it, and I figured it was because he was at work. I have a feeling he'll bring it up when we're sharing QT next time we're together.
Author portcitykitty Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 I've only felt strongly enough about two people to express any tender feelings first. Other than that, it's been mostly "I like you, and enjoy spending time with you, but..." Only ONE time was that expression what I would call, mushy, and I was 16. lol After that, even with that same man, he was always the one to do the expressing first in our off and again relationship. But when it really comes down to it, I believe in saying how you feel. I haven't always done it (at least not in a proper way), but unless it's simply too soon or something in a relationship, I think it's better to say it than go on wondering "what if." I'm not necessarily speaking of the "L word" but feelings in general. The main thing I said closest to that was that I've fallen in love with him, and most of the rest of the letter was just my general overall feelings for him, like what he does to me, how he makes me feel, what he means to me, etc.
KinAZ Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 The main thing I said closest to that was that I've fallen in love with him, and most of the rest of the letter was just my general overall feelings for him, like what he does to me, how he makes me feel, what he means to me, etc. Yeah, I'm a letter writer myself. Haha! I think I just do better in print. That way, I can say everything I want to say without forgetting anything, and without interruptions. (That aside from me being a bit of a chicken.) Similarly, the guy on the receiving end of my letters (some where nice, and some weren't) didn't always respond directly to the letters, he might mention that he got it, say he didn't read all of it, and then insist that I tell him whatever it was that I had to say. I hope he doesn't put you through that agony though. Best wishes!
Author portcitykitty Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 Yeah, I'm a letter writer myself. Haha! I think I just do better in print. That way, I can say everything I want to say without forgetting anything, and without interruptions. (That aside from me being a bit of a chicken.) Similarly, the guy on the receiving end of my letters (some where nice, and some weren't) didn't always respond directly to the letters, he might mention that he got it, say he didn't read all of it, and then insist that I tell him whatever it was that I had to say. I hope he doesn't put you through that agony though. Best wishes! Thank you! I hope he doesnt put me through any agony either! Maybe I'll give him a few days, maybe a week, to recover from it (haha) and then mention it to him to see if he's read it, and how he feels about what I said...I dunno, I'm a big chicken!
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