kizik Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I would like it if everyone could contribute ONE PIECE of the BEST breakup coping advice they could think of - for each other too - but mostly for people who have just stumbled upon the site and need help. I really hope this catches on. Here's mine: Really enjoy the moment - Be where you are completely. Your mind wants to think of your ex, but if you immerse yourself in the moment - you might be enjoying the sun, surfing, making music or talking a walk, for example - you can begin to reclaim YOUR life and be happy again WITHOUT the ex. The more you do this, the more you heal.
foxh1234 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 My tip would be to lean on your family and friends. They are always there for you and will help you through anything and ask for nothing in return. I can honestly say that without my sister and 3 very close friends, I would still be messed up. Because they supported me and helped me through this break up, I am close to healed.
ate_the_paint Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Everytime my mind wanders to my ex, I give myself a mental slap (or really I give the memory of my ex a mental slap) by remembering that I make a great lover and partner, that I'm charming and polite, that I'm smart, I have a good job, and that all this is really her loss and not mine. It may sound conceited but I gotta do what I gotta do to get through this! That works for me, at least!
LikeCharlotte Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Forgive yourself for acting like a fool, for making mistakes, for choosing someone who was not good enough or ready for you, for being hurt and feeling bad.
sao2 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Maybe this is ground zero or obvious to many but Accept that they are not coming back.
JustinWolf Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Some people, during a relationship, have less contact with some of their friends. It's time to go out and call em all out and talk about what you've missed out on!
Peter_pan Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 my tip, be happy, life is short , enjoy your freedom and friendships. one day we will all be gone forever
tealeafbud Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Forgive yourself for acting like a fool, for making mistakes, for choosing someone who was not good enough or ready for you, for being hurt and feeling bad. This is why I love Charlotte. She is so wise and smart. Anyhoo, my tip would be to really Love yourself. When you really love yourself, you focus on how to make yourself a better person. You start to make yourself a better person in different ways. You treat yourself more often and discover so much about yourself. You also begin to really know what you want out of life, relationships, and in your career.
johan Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Put a rubber band around your wrist, and each time you think of your ex, hit your finger with a hammer.
northstar1 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Realize that things end for a reason, and you can never get back what once existed. Only look forward, never back. Don't look back in anger, look forward with hope.
justaman99 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Do something you never would have considered doing before. Face a fear. Jump out of a plane.
Violetta Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Remember that the physical pain that you feel is just withdrawal symptoms, just like you would feel if you gave up coffee or cigarettes or anything else you are habituated too. It is NOT proof that the relationship is magical or anything irreplaceable. NC speeds up the process of getting through the withdrawal
beraldi21 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Accepting the support of family and friends. Lots of excercise, walking the hound. Having faith that the hurt will pass in time or at least will become bearable. Focusing on the fact that as one door closes another will open. LIFE WILL BE GOOD. Accepting the mistakes you made in the demise of the relationship and work on what you can do to ensure you dont make them again in the future. Nice crisp bed linen and the bed all to myself.I love it.
replicator Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Dunno where I heard this, but the only way through it, is straight through. Recall your memories, don't suppress anything. Cry, and be honest with yourself. There is no short cut, but I think it will speed up the process if you don't run from grief, and accept that you're hurting. Process your feelings, write down your thoughts, make peace with yourself.
Grace112 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.
orangehose Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Make your life more interesting by planning activities for yourself that involve personal interests. Learn that new language, go to that concert by a favorite musician / band, go for that hike, visit that old friend in another city, and let yourself feel excited about it. You'll find that the anticipation of doing those fun things can help replace that chemical addiction to the ex.
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