blackberry23 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 He doesn't know what he wants, and I don't know if he ever will. I am feeling so confused, angry, stupid, depressed and SO on!! I'm going to make this as short and sweet as possible. I started dating this guy who I met randomly- I am almost 21, he is 23. We were together for about a year and half give or take. Our relationship was over all very fulfilling and the happiest I've ever been with anyone. He ended it...didn't really have an official reason as to why. We dragged the break-up out for about a month..stupid on my part should have just let him go. He starts "talking" to another girl who he works with. At this point I realized I don't need this, and start feeling better after a while. Of course when I am at the point of acceptance, he comes back apologizing, giving me the whole "I made the biggest mistake of my life" yadyada. Since we didn't break up for any reason in particular I decided to give it a go. Two days later, he changes his mind and says he needs to be "alone". Two weeks later he comes back and claims to be sure he wants to be with me. Within that same day, he decides the opposite. (and in that two week period he was hanging out with the girl from work). Okay. Three weeks go by, I randomly see him. He finds out I was hanging out with a mutual guy friend, flips out and will not leave me alone for about a week. I finally agree to meet with him. He is so SURE this time that he wants to be with me that he puts his 2 weeks in at his job to prove how serious he is. A couple days later asks if i will be mad if he stays at his job, and it all went down hill from there. CAN ANYONE RELATE?
kizik Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 No, I don't relate. You're being very silly here, allowing some jerkoff to string you along. Realize what a great person you are who doesn't deserve this sh*t. Stop talking to this idiot.
TrustInYourself Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I can see a trend here, can you? People want what they can not have. How many times are you going to let him fool you for the sake of your emotions? Respect yourself and tell him to screw himself next time he comes crawling back. I'd love to be there when he starts to beg and plead and cry for you to give him another chance. I'd laugh.
broken87 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Hi, I've been reading this blogs for a few weeks because I'm going through a very hard time in my life and was trying to get as much help as I could. When I read your blog I just had to join and share my experience because you're story is almost exactly like mine. I'm also almost 21, dated my ex for about a year and a half and was also the best relationship I've had. The difference is that I broke up with him because I felt him distant and couldn't figure out how to fix things even though I tried talking to him many times. We gave each other a break and when I tried to see if we could fix things he kept putting excuses saying he wasn't good enough for me. I took this as if he just didn't want me back and all he wanted was to get rid of me. I came to the conclusion that this is why he had been acting the way he was towards the end of our relationship. About a month later he came to me telling me he missed me and wanted me back. Like an idiot I fell for it and agreed to go to his apartment to "talk." We ended up having sex but still didn't get back together. He didn't even call me for three days after that. I kept on convincing my self that I was over him. A few weeks later I find out he tried talking to "friend" of mine who would always flirt with him. I always thought he never saw her that way but I guess I was naive. He tried talking to her while we were still together telling her not to let me know because I would get jealous. This really hurt and I tried my best to tell him things that would hurt him. I told my self that no matter what I would not fall for him or talk to him again. (yeah right) As soon as he apologized I fell for it again, went to his place, he promised me all kinds of things but when I didn't agree to have sex with him he changed his mind saying he had to think about things. Again I promised my self that never again. But I found my self sad that he didn't call me or wanted me anymore. I kept on seeing him. We go to the same University and have some classes together. He would sit with me, tried to make me laugh and all sorts of things. I misunderstood this thinking he still had feelings for me, but there were days when I would find him with different girls and it really hurt. He was really just trying to keep me available for him to do favors for him whenever he needed something. When school was over I decided to really try and not talk to him no more. I did pretty good for two months. But then he called again. This time I was stronger and didn't agree to see him and even told him several times that I didn't want him talking to me anymore. He kept on trying. Like the fifth time he asked me out I finally decided to give him a chance again. Things went pretty good but as much as I told my self I would remain strong and not show any feelings for him, we ended up making out, but I didn't agree to go to his place. He kept calling me after that telling me he really wanted to see me and to go to his place giving me all sorts of excuses as to why he couldn't drive anywhere. I fell for it once more when he said he was sick. I just felt I had to be there for him, so I agreed to go. It was the best day for me. He was so sweet to me and I told him no sex and he agreed. But we ended up still messing around, which I regret. He told me he wanted me back and he missed me and loved me. But this time I told him I needed some time. After this he did call me but it felt like he was just calling so I wouldn't say he didn't. It didn't sound like he wanted to talk to me. I guess since I didn't have sex with me he wasn't gonna stop until I did. Well, today I did something that took a lot of guts. I told him I just can't see him no more because I don't believe in him and I know he's just going to do the same he did before. I told him I just couldn't go through what he put me through again. His only response was that he was really trying but I don't believe him. Didn't sound like he cared much. It hurts but that's the truth. No matter how much I try to convince my self that he will come to his senses and realize that he shouldn't lose what we had, reality keeps slapping me in the face. The fact that he didn't try to convince me he wasn't playing with me just tells me he doesn't care enough to fight for me. Everything he said were lies. This is so hard for me and I'm probably gonna fall for him again no matter what I say, but I'm really trying to remain strong. I need to stop thinking about him. Sorry for rambling on and on. I just had to let it all out and hopefully this can also help you. Sometimes you notice things that are wrong more easily when it's someone else telling you the story. When you're going through it yourself your emotions take over and you kind of go on denial. Hopefully reading this will help you make the right choice. Also, if anyone has any advice for me, please share because I'm running out of ideas.
ellen24 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 Hi. i totally need help and don't know what to do, so i am tagging onto someon'es thread. sorry!! haing a really hard time with my bf saying ne needs space. he says it ahs nothign to do with me, but then acts so cold to me. he is going through a realy tough transition time in his life, juts got out of jail. i feel like ehe wants to be totlally freee and sees me lieka burdren. he says he loves me, but doesn't act like that. first he said he wanted to move out adn it had nothign to do with me, but then i feel like i ketp pushing and pushing, so now he says it does have something to do wiht me. is it possibel to puch someone you love away. it has only been 5 weeks of turmoil, but we have five great yers together. i am so scared.
kizik Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 This thread should be about Blackberry23. The above two posters, copy and paste your posts and make your own threads about them. Use the button at the left of your screen that says "New Thread."
ellen24 Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 i know, but i can't find the button to start new thread!
Author blackberry23 Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 SO.. continuing from my story... He once again told me he was "unsure" about things aka wanted to go talk to the girl at work again. So I decided to give back all the jewelery he got me and other little things that I had saved through-out our relationship. I put it in his mailbox while he was at work and texted him probably a million pages of just how I deserve better and that I gave all the stuff back. .. He then flipped out on me telling me that I am unappreciative and what not for not wanting to keep the things he had got for me..that it meant nothing to me...which okay at the time I just didn't want to look at it because I didn't want to think about him. Then after he started arguing about me trying to "hurt him" by giving the stuff back, I was like F!ck this and went into where he works and wanted to tell him face to face. Meanwhile, I saw the girl he was going back and forth with...we ended up talking and I found out that he had been texting her that day saying things like "I hope its not too late" etc. etc. He came up to me and was like What are you doing? and I laughed.. I was like Oh i was just talking to Jen. aka the girl. He started freaking out and looking for her. He was saying that I was looking for revenge but I really wasn't and tried to make it out like I was the bad guy. After talking with the girl, I realized he had hurt us both, even though I feel like I had been hurt worse but she told me she's never going to talk to him again and neither am I!!! I just don't like how he is making me out to be the bad guy when I have done NOTHING to him! Even gave him three chances and he hurt me everytime! BUT I am glad this happened because you live and you learn...next time there are no second pr third chances! Stand up for yourself and get what you deserve!!! Relationships should go both ways...if you're willing to give you're all, give it to someone who's willing to give you their all =)
Author blackberry23 Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 Broken, It sounds like our situations are some what similar, but to me, your guy sounds like the sex was most important... I think maybe not even the sex, maybe the fact that he had some type of control over you.. like he could do whatever he wanted and whenever he felt like coming back to you..he could and you'd accept every time, which is basically what my guy has done to me. After all this mess, we both have been through I can honestly say that... all his " I love yous, I miss yous, I'm sorrys" mean nothing because If I feel like if you love someone you just don't treat them like that. I know I have done nothing to deserve this kind of treatment.. and I am sure you haven't either. But what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger! And I know it's sooooooo hard to just accept it and move on but the faster you accept it, the faster you will move on and it will all get better. I know it's way easier said than done but it's true. No matter what, there's nothing we can do to remove the past so all we can do is move forward! My ex was a great boyfriend and treated me like a queen, and I felt soo strongly about him and trusted him with all of my heart, but after a year and a half and the other girl came into the picture---it's like he has become the biggest jerk ever lol and even though I can look back and think of how great he WAS does NOT make up for what he has put me through the past couple months!!!
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