MrHurt Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Would you stay married to your wife who cheated on you why/why not? As you guessed it my wife of 5 years cheated on me with a associate she worked with. Never thought that she would I was wrong! We have been separated since she came clean. Thank the lord we dont have kids. I dont know if I will ever be able to trust her again fully. What are your thoughts and opinion? What would you do?
Owl Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 That choice is entirely yours to make. Some people can recover from it...some can't. There are a lot of factors...your personal feelings, the quality and duration of the marriage before the cheating, etc... My wife did cheat on me...we're four years past that point, and we're doing great. So I did choose to stay married and work it out. If it were to happen again, I'm pretty confidant that I wouldn't choose to do that again, however. There's an "Infidelity" forum here on LS you might want to post your information in for more advice specific to recovery and coping with this issue specifically.
Maladjusted Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 My opinion is that I couldn't nor would I want to do it. It takes a certain lack of morality to do such a thing and once you have crossed that threshold there is nothing to keep that person from doing it again.
soda Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I don't know. To be honest, it doesn't matter what we think. It matters how you feel about the prospect of working through it. Does your wife show any remorse? What is she doing to work on the marriage? Is she blaming you for the affair?
Author MrHurt Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 I don't know. To be honest, it doesn't matter what we think. It matters how you feel about the prospect of working through it. Does your wife show any remorse? What is she doing to work on the marriage? Is she blaming you for the affair? She did blame me told me I wasnt giving her enough communication
Maladjusted Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 She did blame me told me I wasnt giving her enough communication So the solution to that is to go and sleep with someone else?
dead-dyke Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 She sounds like a dream. I would say, it is a decision you, and only you can make. All things considered of course, we will never have the full scope of your marital experience. Once could be seen as a mistake, and well, there wouldn't be any going back a second time. That would be a 'shame on me' sitch.
TrustInYourself Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Not enough information for me to even touch this.
Gunny376 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Same deal as with work. There are minor offenses Major offesnese! Intolerable offenses! When a mate cheats? She exposes you to incurable diseases. Fine! You want to cheat, you want out of the relationship? But your going to expose me to a disease that could prevent me from getting with someone else? BTW,do the simple math on this? Its exponential! Herpes AIDS Slyphiss Gential Warts There are over 1000 known gential dieseases? Not to mention of your possibily of raising some elses child as you own? Only to discover 20 years later they're not!
the2gman Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 I dont know... I think each situation and marriage is different. My wife cheated...I don;t know how much and how far, i didnt want to know. That was like 5 years ago, and she left this last Friday for some time she needed to think things through. Heck! I should be the one that left! Anyways.....good luck to you! Keep strong!
sharebear823 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 If my spouse cheated on me during the marriage I would see it as a huge red flag and insist on going to counseling to figure out what is going on. "They" (anonymous groups of so-called "experts") always say that one person cheating is a symptom of a problem in the relationship and that both are to blame and both must participate in fixing it. However, it is also true that the marriage vows have been completely trashed by only ONE of those, and that is where the breach of trust hurts the most. Both had the opportunity to stray, but only one did. Why? Was it a cry for help? If so, there are a lot of much less hurtful ways to cry for help. I don't think I could take my spouse back, but if I were going to try, I would definitely insist on marriage counseling. However, from my own personal experiences with counseling, I really don't think it's all that helpful, either. Sorry to be so pessimistic! I think perhaps cheating is unfixable, just like I'm beginning to think about abandonment. Some things, once broken, just cannot be fixed, no matter how much we wish they could. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but just keep in mind the odds and try to be realistic about the outcome, is all I'd say.
dead-dyke Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 I think I agree w/ you sharebear - Especially on the abandonment, and broken vows. But the cheating.... that is such a personal battle w/ everyone handling it differently. Very touchy subject, and very treacherous.
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