tanbark813 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 why is that, Tan? because of your love for porn? Uhh, I don't have a "love for porn". Not sure where that came from. I also don't see what that has to do with preferring to date an experienced woman.
Author lilac23 Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 Yupp. Think about it: there is so much to take into consideration for the first time, but it's also flattering to know you're special to someone. Oh alright.
Peter_pan Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 wow long post, i would say hell no. its a plus if anything. what would you rather have an std or a virgin...
tanbark813 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 wow long post, i would say hell no. its a plus if anything. what would you rather have an std or a virgin... Yeah, dude, because every girl who isn't a virgin is riddled with STD's.
sugar_and_spice Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 this thread reminds me of some article I read in a women's magazine about men breaking up with them because they were virgins in their late 20s or early 30s.
Author lilac23 Posted July 19, 2008 Author Posted July 19, 2008 yes, a lot of magazines and websites have articles on that
miss_28 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 I'm kind of surprised I'm the first guy in this thread to say this but I wouldn't want to date a virgin. I'd have two main concerns: 1. She might end up like that "stage 5 clinger" girl in Wedding Crashers once she did lose her virginity. 2. Further along into the relationship she might wonder what it's like to be with other men. I'd rather she get a little experience under her belt beforehand. If I were in my early 20's I'd probably be happy to date a virgin but at this point in life I'd rather date a woman who knows what she's doing in the bedroom. hahaha... the stage 5 clinger part was funny... especially because in the movie, she was really anything but a virgin... I lost mine at 27. And i'm an atheist (religion wasn't a factor), i'm attractive, confident, outgoing... you get the picture. I didn't wait because of any specific reason, it was always because the guys i dated would make a big deal about it when they would found out - that level of insecurity on their part in turn would turn me off. And you know what? i lost my virginity to a really great guy... and we had great sex... despite me having no experience with other men... i liked how it played out, i didn't feel like i was being used to learn new stuff or to teach something to someone. Sex is not rocket science, it is pretty easy actually, if you go with what feels good for you and your partner and don't stress about it it'll be good, even the first time. Besides, i've been told that its nice for some guys to be with some one who isn't fast and loose (in more ways than one). Another thing, I don't like when a guy has too much experience, it's intimidating, they may have an std, and it doesn't guarantee they'll be good in bed - just like being a virgin doesn't mean the sex will be bad either. it's all in how you choose to look at it. My advice, do not worry about being a virgin, just be confident and relaxed, and eventually, you'll meet someone who is genuinely into you and perfectly fine with you being a virgin... and if he (or she) can't handle it, it really is their problem. Just don't try to loose your virginity just for the sake of loosing it... and please, don't drop your guard (don't turn clingy and possessive or prematurely fall in love) once its done... and if you're going to be with a virgin, don't assume that your sex is going to turn them into a love obsessed psychopath.
christian6 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 If you think it is a turn-off, don't tell them you're a virgin! They really don't need to know, ever. It's pretty easy to figure out whether a woman is experienced or not.
D-D Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 I'm a 24 year old male virgin so obviously I would date a female virgin in her 20's. I was raised as a Catholic and thus believed that pre-marital sex was wrong. I can't say that I have yet really had the opportunity to have sex, so I can't really say my religious upbringing is the reason I am a virgin. I think I would be likely to lose my virginity in a serious relationship if I were in one now. I would assume most guys my age wouldn't mind a virgin. Some may not because they would assume you don't want to have sex or they don't want to "take" your virginity. Other guys may relish the opportunity to have sex with a virgin. Anyhow, in my own experience, I don't really feel ashamed to be a virgin. I don't think it is as big of a deal as society makes it out to be. I'd certainly rather be a virgin than someone who had an unplanned pregnancy or contracted an STI (or both). I think there are more virgins out there than what they surveys say anyhow. People claim to not be virgins to avoid the shame and humiliation that society for whatever reason places on that person in today's society. Just my opinion though....
sweet_tea12 Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 If you're with a guy who likes you for who you are, it shouldn't matter if you are or are not a virgin. Of course if you are not one, even in your mid twenties, and the guy really likes you, he may feel a little disappointed and tell you that. But it's not a dealbreaker. A guy who prizes a girl's virginity to the point of obsession is not worth much. Equally are the guys who are just looking for a good time and scared off by girls who wish to save themselves.
sugar_and_spice Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 If you're with a guy who likes you for who you are, it shouldn't matter if you are or are not a virgin. Of course if you are not one, even in your mid twenties, and the guy really likes you, he may feel a little disappointed and tell you that. But it's not a dealbreaker. A guy who prizes a girl's virginity to the point of obsession is not worth much. Equally are the guys who are just looking for a good time and scared off by girls who wish to save themselves. it generally seems like that men would not want to be with women who are virgins, from my experience anyway
Author lilac23 Posted July 20, 2008 Author Posted July 20, 2008 hahaha... the stage 5 clinger part was funny... especially because in the movie, she was really anything but a virgin... I lost mine at 27. And i'm an atheist (religion wasn't a factor), i'm attractive, confident, outgoing... you get the picture. I didn't wait because of any specific reason, it was always because the guys i dated would make a big deal about it when they would found out - that level of insecurity on their part in turn would turn me off. And you know what? i lost my virginity to a really great guy... and we had great sex... despite me having no experience with other men... i liked how it played out, i didn't feel like i was being used to learn new stuff or to teach something to someone. Sex is not rocket science, it is pretty easy actually, if you go with what feels good for you and your partner and don't stress about it it'll be good, even the first time. Besides, i've been told that its nice for some guys to be with some one who isn't fast and loose (in more ways than one). Did the guy you lost it to make a big deal about it initially?
anecdote Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 it generally seems like that men would not want to be with women who are virgins, from my experience anyway Men are strange creatures. They don't want a virgin, they want experience, but when a woman with experience shows up on their doorstep, they call her a slut for having experience. Am I the only one who finds that strange?
carhill Posted July 20, 2008 Posted July 20, 2008 There is a difference between having experience and talking about it
christian6 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 There is a difference between having experience and talking about it how true
Lizzie60 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Does being a virgin who is 20+, turn off guys? I don't know about being 20-30 but over 30, I would think that there is something 'wrong' (both women and men)... It would be a turn-off for me..
Amaryste Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Clearly, a guy who prefers an experienced woman if she was past the age of 20 would not be the right person for a female who was a virgin and 20+. Your intentions need to be aligned with the person you want to date. Building a relationship upon lies usually has a messy end. As for the OP, this is what I suggest - to focus on finding the right guy, rather than trying to estimate what one gender thinks of 20+ female virgins.
Author lilac23 Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 I don't know about being 20-30 but over 30, I would think that there is something 'wrong' (both women and men)... It would be a turn-off for me.. 20-30 would be a turn off?
carhill Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Originally Posted by Lizzie60 I don't know about being 20-30 but over 30, I would think that there is something 'wrong' (both women and men)... Yeah, I would agree, and I was one of them
tanbark813 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Men are strange creatures. They don't want a virgin, they want experience, but when a woman with experience shows up on their doorstep, they call her a slut for having experience. Uhh, no. Here's a guy who prefers a woman with experience. Actually, I found just the flip side funny: Women don't want to be called sluts for having sex but when a guy (me) posts that he prefers an experienced woman he gets shyt for it from a couple of posters.
christian6 Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Clearly, a guy who prefers an experienced woman if she was past the age of 20 would not be the right person for a female who was a virgin and 20+. Your intentions need to be aligned with the person you want to date. Building a relationship upon lies usually has a messy end. As for the OP, this is what I suggest - to focus on finding the right guy, rather than trying to estimate what one gender thinks of 20+ female virgins. Well, I suppose the OP is just trying to get an idea about if and why guys don't date or don't prefer dating inexperienced women. What's wrong with that?
ABrokenWing Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Yeah, I would agree, and I was one of them carhill, can I ask what you thought was "wrong" with you if you were a 30+ virgin?
mortensorchid Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 If you don't mind my asking, exactly how and why are you still a virgin at your age? Are you holding out for the right person? Marriage? Against religious beliefs? Or are / were you too insecure to go "all the way" with someone?
Author lilac23 Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 If you don't mind my asking, exactly how and why are you still a virgin at your age? Are you holding out for the right person? Marriage? Against religious beliefs? Or are / were you too insecure to go "all the way" with someone? I am not waiting till marriage, although I do come from a religious family and religion does influence me a bit. It has more to do with the fact that I haven't had a very serious relationship so far, and also that I like to take things slow, which sometimes made the guys I was seeing restless and irritated, as they did not want to wait.
anecdote Posted July 21, 2008 Posted July 21, 2008 Uhh, no. Here's a guy who prefers a woman with experience. Actually, I found just the flip side funny: Women don't want to be called sluts for having sex but when a guy (me) posts that he prefers an experienced woman he gets shyt for it from a couple of posters. Yes, there's a lot of single standards scattered around the place. For my knowledge, men boast they want experienced women and when a woman has had ten or more sexual partners these men then complain about them being sluts. If these men can't handle the fire, they should get the hell out of the kitchen. Talk is cheap at the end of the day. Most men are just talk.
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