CommitmentPhobe Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I'm not sure whether this kind of attitude will be popular around these parts, but I would find it a turn on, like a major turn on. I love to teach Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I am 27. The reason why I asked a general question because,well, when I was 20, my bf at that time had completely freaked out when he found out that I hadn't ever had sex. Look, honestly I don't know what kind of guys you've come across, but I don't get the point with "experience". It's not like a lawyer being employed at a law firm or something that has to have an academic degree, i mean.... it's sex. You just get together and away you go. Some of the most "experienced" woman I've been with weren't top of the list if you want to apply a rating system to sex. I mean it doesn't matter how many gigs a bad singer does, they're still worse than someone with a good voice that's never performed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilac23 Posted July 26, 2008 Author Share Posted July 26, 2008 yes, but it wasn't as bad as it could've been had i slept with them then found out i'd been used... so even though they hurt my feelings and made me feel stupid at first, i'm very happy they showed their true colors before anyone got serious. . Yeah, that's true. and the guy i was with was wonderful... even though we broke up, (he left me), it wasn't because of sex... and that's important to me. And I guess you wouldn't have said so much good stuff about the ex had he left you because of sex! Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I'm not sure whether this kind of attitude will be popular around these parts, but I would find it a turn on, like a major turn on. I love to teach lol, that's a new one. Link to post Share on other sites
christian6 Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 yes, but it wasn't as bad as it could've been had i slept with them then found out i'd been used... so even though they hurt my feelings and made me feel stupid at first, i'm very happy they showed their true colors before anyone got serious. and the guy i was with was wonderful... even though we broke up, (he left me), it wasn't because of sex... and that's important to me. well, he obviously wouldn't have left you over sex/virginity and the like once you've already had sex?! Link to post Share on other sites
miss_28 Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 exactly... lol Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 exactly... lol it's nice that you had a bf who was willing to let you explain why you were still a virgin. I read some article on salon.com about women who are virgins in their 20's and 30's, and their stories were really sad, because their partners had been absolutely horrible to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy.S Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I love virgins Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilac23 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 it's nice that you had a bf who was willing to let you explain why you were still a virgin. I read some article on salon.com about women who are virgins in their 20's and 30's, and their stories were really sad, because their partners had been absolutely horrible to them. I remember reading it, too. Was pretty awful, really. Link to post Share on other sites
christian6 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I'm not sure whether this kind of attitude will be popular around these parts, but I would find it a turn on, like a major turn on. I love to teach tbh I had expected more people to say that lol Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 tbh I had expected more people to say that lol In the context of developing a serious relationship, this issue is just a huge red flag. It is truly very naive to underestimate the importance of this. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 In the context of developing a serious relationship, this issue is just a huge red flag. It is truly very naive to underestimate the importance of this. it might be a big issue for you, that does not mean everyone would attach that much importance to it. Depends on the person. It does not make one naive. It may be a red flag for you, but not everyone would end the relationship or stop dating a person over it. Link to post Share on other sites
christian6 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 In the context of developing a serious relationship, this issue is just a huge red flag. It is truly very naive to underestimate the importance of this. the comment you quoted was sort of meant as a joke. I can understand why it could be a concern, but it is not a huge red flag imo . Of course, it is a risk, just like there could be so many other issues, big and small, when you start a relationship. But if I really liked the girl, I would not leave her over it. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 It's only a problem, if you make it a problem. while I don't believe it is as big an issue as people often make it out to be, I don't think it's that simple. Or maybe a woman is more likely to be okay with it? Link to post Share on other sites
daithi Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Does being a virgin who is 20+, turn off guys? No, actually I quite like it. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I think it matters to guys but it shouldn't. I'm not a virgin but I have had only 3 sexual partners, including my current boyfriend of 8 months. I told him I would not have sex with him until we were in an exclusive, committed relationship (ie. girlfriend/boyfriend). This was an attractive quality to him b/c he knew that I was very careful & selective in who I chose to sleep with...and that I wanted something meaningful & real with the people I did. I think it can good if someone is a virgin b/c to me that means he doesn't sleep around & he too is careful & selective about it...and that when he does lose it, he wants it to be with the right person. Honestly, can ya not respect that? Personally, I find it pretty admirable. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 In the context of developing a serious relationship, this issue is just a huge red flag. It is truly very naive to underestimate the importance of this. I think it depends on how you look at it. Some people are afraid of their inexperienced partner developing a wanderlust because they might have missed out on opportunities. On the other hand, I would be equally concerned about a more experienced partner to be more prone to seek external validation, maybe even an affair if our relationship isn't running smoothly. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Honestly, can ya not respect that? Personally, I find it pretty admirable. yeah, though any kind of choice that one makes wrt such a personal thing needs to be respected, not just virginity. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I'm a man and it's not a big deal with it, and neither does the girl I am seeing. Then again, I'm an open minded Liberal and not Conservative. This may have something to do with it. I don't get what you are trying to say (regarding the Conservative/Liberal thing), but I was saying that perhaps a woman was more likely to be okay with her guy being a virgin than vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
christian6 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I'm a man and it's not a big deal with it, and neither does the girl I am seeing. Then again, I'm an open minded Liberal and not Conservative. This may have something to do with it. what? Link to post Share on other sites
Bloodelf Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Well i guess i am a loser for being a guy virgin @ 21. sigh.... society sucks sometimes. I just love bring thought of as less of a person because i havent had 11tybillion sexual partners by 18, doesnt anyone else see how f****ed up that is? And yes if you must ask, i am quite bitter. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Well i guess i am a loser for being a guy virgin @ 21. sigh.... society sucks sometimes. I just love bring thought of as less of a person because i havent had 11tybillion sexual partners by 18, doesnt anyone else see how f****ed up that is? And yes if you must ask, i am quite bitter. Nobody is saying virgins are less of a person, bro. Link to post Share on other sites
Bloodelf Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 thats just the impression i get, how can i not infer that? if your are a virgin past 20, there MUST be something wrong with you. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 thats just the impression i get, how can i not infer that? if your are a virgin past 20, there MUST be something wrong with you. Don't believe the hype... Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Yes, but a woman with experience already knows what it's like to be with other men. A woman who has only been with one man doesn't. Big difference. Most women will fantasize about other men. I don't see how it matters whether they are virgins or not. And how does it matter if she know what it's like or not. Wanting to be with someone else is equally bad in both cases. And I think the women who wait for longer are generally the ones who prefer being with one man/few men, so they are less likely to want to go to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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