gummybear Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I have no idea why, but it was like since the third date, he just grew on me exponentially. I didn't really care that much for him prior to that (I thought I'd eventually get sick of him), but like now I'm soooo excited about when I'd see him next. We're see each other Friday for lunch, Sat night for a movie, and sunday all day. How's this possible? This has never happened to me before. So wierd. My gosh someone stop me from falling for him!!! hahah Usually when someone doesnt do it for me physically, I just let them go. But something about him made me keep wanting to see him despite how physically unattractive he was to me at first. Maybe that is why.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Usually when someone doesnt do it for me physically, I just let them go. But something about him made me keep s wanting to see him despite how physically unattractive he was to me at first. Maybe that is why. Your falling for him .... and he is still unattractive to you. Whats your deal! Do you really think this is going to last? What happens when you get tired of him being nice to you. What happens when you want a guy that just treats you like crap again?
Author gummybear Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 Your falling for him .... and he is still unattractive to you. Whats your deal! Do you really think this is going to last? What happens when you get tired of him being nice to you. What happens when you want a guy that just treats you like crap again? For the record, I've only had 2 bfs in my life. Both were the nicest guys to me. The first one is EVEN NICER than this current guy, but he dumped me cuz I broke up with him a few times then finally lied and emotionally cheated. The second bf was also very very nice, but I wasn't over my ex yet and he told me how bitter he is that I was still in love with my ex the whole time I was dating him . Basic point is, I have a thing for super nice guys
LoveDeluxe78 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I have no idea why, but it was like since the third date, he just grew on me exponentially. I didn't really care that much for him prior to that (I thought I'd eventually get sick of him), but like now I'm soooo excited about when I'd see him next. We're see each other Friday for lunch, Sat night for a movie, and sunday all day. How's this possible? This has never happened to me before. So wierd. My gosh someone stop me from falling for him!!! hahah Usually when someone doesnt do it for me physically, I just let them go. But something about him made me keep wanting to see him despite how physically unattractive he was to me at first. Maybe that is why. Hmmm....on one hand, I totally believe in giving people a chance since overall attraction and compatibility has to do with much more than initial lust/attraction, but on the other hand, you wrote that he was very physically unattractive to you! That's bad, that's even worse than just neutrality in terms of attraction, so I'm just afraid you are falling for the few nice things he does for you, and keep in mind guys will do nice things in the early phases of the dating process, so make sure you really like HIM and it is his personality that is making you fall for him and not him taking you places or having someone to hang out with.... Hmmm.....not sure if this is a good sign....
carhill Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 OP, there is no rhyme or reason to attraction. Is this guy becoming more attractive to you now that you're getting to know him better? With your history, what's the prognosis here? What have you learned and/or changed about yourself as a result of your prior relationships? How are you a good match for this good man? Just some things to think about.... good luck
Author gummybear Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 Hm...you posed some very interesting questions.... OP, there is no rhyme or reason to attraction. Is this guy becoming more attractive to you now that you're getting to know him better?I think as I mature, I tend to look for character traits and guys who are thoughtful, nice and sweet over just a pretty face boy. I think perhaps he is becoming more attractive to me on the outside (I always think about kissing him haha when in the beginning I wasn't sure if I really liked kissing him) because I appreciate the person he is. He is one of the few people who makes me fuzzy inside... With your history, what's the prognosis here? What have you learned and/or changed about yourself as a result of your prior relationships? How are you a good match for this good man?To be honest with my ex, I was sooo insecure that all I did all day was over-analyze every single thing and kept being scared that he'd leave me. But now with this new guy, I just feel like I want to treat him right. I know I didn't treat my ex right, and I really regreted it. I feel less selfish and scared...and perhaps I was able to overcome those insecurities because of the therapy I had. I just feel like guilt and regret is worse than a guy leaving me even when I've done everything right. At least if I do things right, I won't have regret.
carhill Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 So, do you think you could go out with this guy for a couple months and get to know him better before becoming sexual with him? It's interesting how the kissing part works. When you get to be my age, IME, it almost becomes an extension of the bond you share, rather than a sexual activity/impetus, though there are moments . Enjoy the journey I just feel like guilt and regret is worse than a guy leaving me even when I've done everything right. At least if I do things right, I won't have regret. IMO, and I've made enough mistakes to know, there is always some guilt and/or regret and I know I'll never do everything right, even though I think I will and work on it every day. Such reality defines the human condition. The joy is in proffering your best effort. I think this is key. Make the effort and do your best for you, not for any reward or attention (like from a mate/intended) you might receive. The more deeply you love, IMO, the more likely the above will be true. Just so you know, I've only felt that "fuzzy" feeling a couple times in my long life, so you're very fortunate at your young age, at least in comparison to me. To me, it (the feeling) indicates one potential of many; other factors inevitably determine the outcome. My advice is to live and learn. Enjoy the ride
loveinlife Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I have no idea why, but it was like since the third date, he just grew on me exponentially. I didn't really care that much for him prior to that (I thought I'd eventually get sick of him), but like now I'm soooo excited about when I'd see him next. We're see each other Friday for lunch, Sat night for a movie, and sunday all day. How's this possible? This has never happened to me before. So wierd. My gosh someone stop me from falling for him!!! hahah Usually when someone doesnt do it for me physically, I just let them go. But something about him made me keep wanting to see him despite how physically unattractive he was to me at first. Maybe that is why. I am happy that you met someone that you are falling for. Im a nice guy too and listening to you speak makes me feel good. I thought nice guys finish last, although i tend to date a lot and have many girl friends. I was never able to keep a long relationship since my first ex, who i went out with her for 2 years and another 2 on and off. Gummy, you sound like a girl i know, especially the way you speak haha Hmm do you live in Cali? hehe Just wondering =)
Balthazar Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Usually when someone doesnt do it for me physically, I just let them go. But something about him made me keep wanting to see him despite how physically unattractive he was to me at first. Maybe that is why. Relax, the magic is working! Don't analyze it lest it should fade away. Just acknowledge it and let it do its thing. CHeers,
Author gummybear Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 I am happy that you met someone that you are falling for. Im a nice guy too and listening to you speak makes me feel good. I thought nice guys finish last, although i tend to date a lot and have many girl friends. I was never able to keep a long relationship since my first ex, who i went out with her for 2 years and another 2 on and off. Gummy, you sound like a girl i know, especially the way you speak haha Hmm do you live in Cali? hehe Just wondering =) How old are you?
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