its been over a year, i have a new b/f, and he is still on my mind

[grapesoda]

I dated this guy for a year and a half alittle over a year ago. We had a rocky relationship and fought alot. We broke a couple times over the year and a half we were together, but always got backl together after not seeing eachother for a couple weeks. He and I had many many differences. We fought alot and had little in common. Even still I cared alot for him but didnt show it much because I couldnt. He ittitated me so badly and was going no where in life and didnt care. I tried to tell him he needed to get his life together and get back in school but he just kept saying "give me time" but never did anything. He was immature and cussed all the time and slept all day when he was supposed to be getting a job cause he could never keep a darn job. I know he sounds like a loser and I agree that is what he mostly was., BUT I still loved him. We had many special times together and he he was very sweet to me when we werent in chaos together. He was the absolute best love making partner I had ever had in my life. He knew how to make me feel good and I had certain little sweet things he would say to me that would make me feel so good. well last summer we broke up, more of my choice then his cause it was just getting to the point that I didnt want to see him anymore and I needed a break. So over the couple weeks we didnt see eachother he called me everyday. I actually stopped over to see him a few weeks later and I wanted to tell him I wanted him back but I was so damn stubborn , he tried kissing me but I wouldnt let him. I was still mad alittle. He looked so good that day too. We should of just talked and got back together but I was soooo stubborn. I regret not doing it that day because a week later his phone calls abrubtly stopped. I eventually found out he met another girl, moved in with her 2 days later. I was completely heart broken. Cried for months. I am mostly over all the pain from that horrible heartbreak. This was alittle over a year ago.......but I still think about him and miss him. Even though I have a new boyfriend and like him alot I cant help but think about my ex. My ex is still with this girl and she is pregnant with his child. I have no contact with him which is better for me ina way. I havent see or spoken to him since December. Why am I still thinking about him? My life is probably better off without him. I care alot for my new boyfriend. What was it about my ex that just wont let me go? Help

[superd]

well that you are not complaining about your new guy is a good sign. Question!: do you really want to bring all of that drama and chaos that you boyfriend caused back in to your life? You sound calm now, you have seen hell, known what it was like, do you really have to go back there? I know you had some good times with your ex and I am not putting him down in any way, but if you have a good thing now then you should do your best to burn him out of your memory. You need to maybe think about teaching your new bf what he can do to please you romantically and sexually and burn that part of you that wants to bring you to the point of self-destruction right out of you. You have to tell yourself that your ex will never change and you have to believe it. It is not healthy to bring the torments of the past on you once again, don't do it.