the_blur Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 So early this summer, my gf (of 9 YEARS) broke up with me and I became a free man (I also changed jobs simultaneously and had to move my life was completely upside down for a while). While that was going on I was left showing the apartment to potential renters. I once arrived there when my landlord was showing the apartment to this super-pretty (to me anyway) romanian girl who had a beautiful accent. I told her so, and we sort of bantered a little bit in a friendly way but I was absolutely frozen inside because her eyes were so gorgeous (light colored hazel/steel grey eyes) even though I kept it together while I spoke to her, I think I was pretty obvious about being very much into her. So she viewed the apt and went on her way. For several days I kicked myself for not asking her for her number right then and there, and couldn't get her out of my head, so I posted this on a housing bulletin board (personally identifiable stuff has been changed): ======== You are looking for a 4 1/2 with 2 closed bedrooms ======== Hi pretty romanian girl, You came to see my apartment yesterday at 000 St-Spagheti Street, I was the spanish speaking guy, I told you you had a beautiful accent and almost asked you out on the spot, but I froze looking at your beautiful hazel/grey eyes. You actually have a beautiful accent in spanish too (but I can't place it, mexican telenovelas eh?). If you want someone to show you around town, let me know, I am volunteering (and I can help you find a place too!) =) I hope you see this, please call me at 000.000.0000 or email me at [email protected] you pretty, pretty thing. If I see you again, I swear I will ask you out I will not miss that chance twice! (To everyone else, yes the appartment is actually for rent, it has 1 closed bedroom and is in the heart of the plateau (corner --- and --- ), you can call my landlord at 000.000.0000 for info if you want to go see it!) =========================================== To this day I am not sure if she ever saw that. Anyway, a few days later I bumped into her on the street and we totally hit it off. I got her number (she gave it to me like she was scared I was never going to ask) and she was definetly all about meeting somewhere and talking and stuff... Fast forward a few days, I am working like crazy, preparing to move, crashing at my brother's house, my life is a shambles, but I called her thinking to set up a date for later in the week. She sort of wanted to see me right then and there and I cold tell she was going to be sad if I didn't go meet her, so I did, she mentioned she was with friends and stuff and I was ok with that (mistake #1) because I am a pretty large, scary looking guy and meeting her in an environment where she feels safe will put her at ease. So I show up at the place and she and her brother and his girlfriend are there as well as 1 more friend. I am pretty good in social situations, so right away I started conversing with them and I sort of noticed that she was really quiet (Not taking her to a private table, mistake #2). When she spoke to me, she was making a lot of casual contact and stuff, I thought this was going very well. She said she wanted to go get ciggies so of course I jumped at the chance to go for a little walk with her alone and said I'll come with you. So I did, and we chit chatted a bit and the subject of age came up, turns out she was VERY young, much younger than I had thought (I had given her 24-26, but she was 19, I am 33 ... grievous mistake #4). We stayed until pretty late for a monday night (it was around 11:00 PM when we left the terrace) so sh asked if I could drive her home, I said no problem I was parked far but I figured we could have a nice walk to the car and then I'd drive her home and get a kiss goodnight (maybe). What happened next was truly horrible, and totally me. I. Lost. My. Car. (FATAL ****ing titan missile GAME OVER mistake #5) What a ****ing loser thing to do. I really had no bloody idea where the hell I parked it, I knew the street, but this particular area of town was unfamiliar to me at the time, so we start walking and I'm thinking I'm headed in the right direction but it turned out we were walking in a totally goddamn random direction, so she got really impatient (as 19 y-o girls are wont to do) and was giving off a freaked out vibe and decided to take the subway home. I said fine, feeliuyhjng so embarrassed all I wanted to do was commit sepukku on the spot. So I gave her kisses on the cheeks, and told her I really like her and then left to find my car, very abruptly, enough that she may have gotten a totally wrong impression of me, but I was so ****ing mortified, I don't even think I was in possession of all my faculties at that moment. Anyway, 20 minutes later I found the stupid thing, I had parked it near my own street where I used to live. God, I am such a loser. So I had the gall to text her that night asking if she got home ok, then the next day or maybe the day after (I think) I called and got no answer, so I tried again later and asked if she'd like to go for a walk of w/e, she said she didn't feel like it, she was at a bar with some friends. Anyway, long story short, I really blew it at the start of the whole thing. I haven't called her in around 3 weeks to a month, I figured forget it. But I keep thinking of her, how she was obviously into me and so pretty and honest ... I really really liked her, she was a girly girl, where my last gf had been a pretty frigid tomboy... God, should I call her again or delete her contact info so I never get a second chance to **** up a first impression?
Vicious_Delicious Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I say call her one more time. If she expresses any disinterest, then just delete the number and move on. It wouldn't hurt to see if you had one last chance.
bigmanpayne Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I say call her one more time. If she expresses any disinterest, then just delete the number and move on. It wouldn't hurt to see if you had one last chance. ditto. ditto. ditto
Walk Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I think she has your number, doesn't she? If you already sent her a text message then it would have your number at the bottom, right? Plus caller id for the calls you made to her. I don't think the "mistakes" you made on the date were so huge that she would completely dismiss the idea of talking to you again. Maybe the car thing. That was actually funny from an outsider perspective. I do think the ad in the rental section was WAAAAY over the top. That would've completely freaked me out. Anyway... when I was 19 any one over the age of 25 would give me a bad vibe. Didn't matter if he was the nicest guy in the world, I just found it creepy. You're 14 years older then this girl. What do you really have in common? She's pretty, and that's why you like her. It isn't because she's smart, funny, likes your favorite hobby and you two have so much to talk about. It was entirely because you found her pretty. There's nothing wrong with finding her pretty, but you didn't have anything to build on past that. To clarify, I don't think you did anything hugely wrong (except for maybe the ad). If she's seeking a new apartment then it may be that her life is in a temporary upheavel and she just isn't interested in starting something with someone who's nearly twice her age. I'm guessing she has your number already (todays tech nearly assures it) and could've called you at any time, and I think trying her again is over kill on your part. Might get a response... but I think even if she did agree to another outing that you'll end up right back at square one again (calling her and not getting a response).
Balthazar Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Relax, stuff like this happens in life. The other day I sent an email meant for a friend to a woman I was interested in. It provided lots of laughs after the woman stopped chasing me. I think she should have been more understanding, but she is young and impressionable. You could give it one last shot, and make it a special one. Try to come up with some interesting way to approach her. Maybe send her a joking photo of you and your car. Good Luck!
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