sedgwick Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 ...today's the one-year anniversary of the breakup. My friend who had promised to spend the day with me blew me off during the day to work, so I thought, hey, no problem, we'll hang out tonight. So just now I got a text from her saying she wanted to hang out with her husband tonight. Not even an acknowledgment that yesterday she had told me she'd be there for me. I did okay alone though. At least now I never again have to say, "Last year at this time I was with him." I have now survived one of everything alone. I have thought of him every second of every day since he left. I have dreamed of him almost every night. I love him with all my heart and still can't imagine ever loving anyone else, but hey, at least I lived. And I accomplished more in the last year than I ever have in any previous year of my life. All my dreams came true, pretty much, or at least began to come true. I didn't end up in the hospital. I didn't do anything self-injurous. That was a first. Now I know I can survive a breakup and not end up in the psych ward. That's pretty awesome. I feel okay. I started crying in Whole Foods for about five minutes, but that was all. I don't think anybody saw. I cried pretty hard yesterday but I got over that too. One year later, I'm okay. Not great, but okay. It still hurts a lot but it doesn't hurt like it did a year ago, and that's something.
sao2 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Hi Sedgwick, I also had my breakup about a year ago. Since the "anniversary" I have been back in a funk. Anyways, sorry about your friend. I am impressed that you have been able to get so much done this year. I have felt pretty useless this past year.
Author sedgwick Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 Hey Sao. You know, I had to bust ass to achieve stuff or I would have gone even crazier. With everything I did, the driving force behind it was, "I'll show YOU how much cooler this is than the fiddle." Righteous indignation is great for making you get sh*t done. I want there to come a day when he is forced to say to himself, "I had a really kick-ass girlfriend and I gave her up, and I'll never find anyone that awesome who loves me that much ever again." Of course, I know he's getting ready to go off to this big old-time festival where there are lots of cute girls with fiddles and they hit on him a lot. Whatever. Any fiddle player he ends up with is going to know that he likes her for her stringed instrument first and foremost, and she'll have to deal with his constant obsessing about other fiddle players and she'll have to try to find a way not to compare herself to them. It's really easy for me to think that he's now in some perfect golden relationship, but that serves no purpose. What does serve a purpose is BELLYDANCE and WILLIAM FAULKNER, goddammit. Step back.
D-Lish Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Why would anyone here hate you for not getting over your ex? No one does. Frustrated, perhaps- because most of us see your potential and don't understand why you allow yourself to embrace self pity when you seem to be so far out of this guy's league that he's not even on the radar. One year is a milestone... And you made it. I think most people just see that you're a cool, stable, smart, capable chick.... and don't understand why this dude that crushed your heart has such a hold on you.
foxh1234 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Why would anyone here hate you for not getting over your ex? No one does. Frustrated, perhaps- because most of us see your potential and don't understand why you allow yourself to embrace self pity when you seem to be so far out of this guy's league that he's not even on the radar. One year is a milestone... And you made it. I think most people just see that you're a cool, stable, smart, capable chick.... and don't understand why this dude that crushed your heart has such a hold on you. Could not have said it better. I don't hate you Sedge, I wish nothing but the best for you.
Biker2007 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Hey Sedg, I am also getting ready to hit the 1 year mark since the break up. That did a number on me along w/some unexpected sightings of her near my neighborhood recently. I have not seen or talked to her for 11 months, but she has been in my thoughts everyday since the split...you are not alone w/this feeling. For quite a while, I have felt like there is a cloud following me. Time to change that feeling. Hopefully, you start to feel like your self soon. Keep up the belly dancing and yoga...it will come. Namaste
Violetta Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Sedgwick, reading your posts has been one of the things that has helped me along many milestones and through the one year mark. I understand your grief and admire your strength. Along with many others here, though, I think that you can do so much better than that guy who sounds like a rather selfish, unwashed, insecure monomaniac. His reactions to you sound so inadequate. You deserve someone who adores you for your many talents and kind heart, he is oblivious to or feels threatened by your amazing self. As you said on one post, in a flash of insight :he is the king of dips**ts ( or something like that). Time to free yourself girl!
borelandkaren Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Hey Sao. You know, I had to bust ass to achieve stuff or I would have gone even crazier. With everything I did, the driving force behind it was, "I'll show YOU how much cooler this is than the fiddle." Righteous indignation is great for making you get sh*t done. I want there to come a day when he is forced to say to himself, "I had a really kick-ass girlfriend and I gave her up, and I'll never find anyone that awesome who loves me that much ever again." Of course, I know he's getting ready to go off to this big old-time festival where there are lots of cute girls with fiddles and they hit on him a lot. Whatever. Any fiddle player he ends up with is going to know that he likes her for her stringed instrument first and foremost, and she'll have to deal with his constant obsessing about other fiddle players and she'll have to try to find a way not to compare herself to them. It's really easy for me to think that he's now in some perfect golden relationship, but that serves no purpose. What does serve a purpose is BELLYDANCE and WILLIAM FAULKNER, goddammit. Step back. Y know.......He plays the damn fiddle!!!!!! Sorry, too hilarious for me!!!!:lmao::lmao:
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Why would anyone hate you? You always give great advice. Congratulations for making the most of this year - despite all the heartache. You've really achieved some amazing things! I hope in a year I too can say I have achieved something amazing too.
Author sedgwick Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 Y know.......He plays the damn fiddle!!!!!! Sorry, too hilarious for me!!!!:lmao::lmao: He doesn't, he plays the bass and is obsessed with fiddle players. But still, ridiculous!
sb129 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Congrats with the anniversary of BEING OK WITHOUT HIM... You are getting there.
LikeCharlotte Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 I'm glad you chose to share with us sedge. You've come a long way! Don't let anything make you think otherwise. We all heal at a different pace. I had a breakup that took years to get over. This one was relatively easy because I learned so much from my past. There are rewards that come from suffering you just don't always see them right away. Its nice to hear from you.
miss_28 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 happy anniversary! i just hit the 3 month mark myself and broke down too... but i think things will get better for us all... slowly but surely this will pass! glad your back btw.
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